I can't cope anymore - debts rising very fast!!

sinkingveryfast

Hi everybody,

I'm in desperation and I need help. I lost my job 3 years ago due to ill health and depression. At that time I had no debts at all. Since I've been at home I have run up about £18,000 in 3 years. This has been because I have 3 children, a mortgage, car and to be honest a gambling problem.

I owe

My Dad £8,500
My Wife £4,500
My Kids Savings £2,000
Credit Cards £3,000

This equates to an overspend of £6,000 a year. I am fortunate that the only 'debt' that is accruing interest is the Credit Cards. My Dad is happy with me paying him back £150 a month, my wife doesn't really mind (she sees it as our debt - I don't) and my Kids are too young too know.

I feel a total loser and to be honest hate myself. My kids and wife deserve so much more. I am still on heavy medication for my depression. The more I can't provide, the worse I feel.

Our income and expenditure is very low

Wife £10,000
Family Credit £10,000
Child Benefit £1,800 approx

==============

£21,800

Mortgage £2,400 p/a
Gas/Elec £1,200 p/a
Car Ins £600 p/a
Car Tax £100 p/a
Council Tax £1300 p/a
Phone/TV/Internet £400 p/a
Clothes for 5 £1,000 p/a
Public Transport £800 p/a
Food £7,000
Petrol £1000 p/a
Life Insurance/House Insurance £500 p/a

Leaves a balance of £5,500

The balance just doesn't seem to go anywhere. I think a few thousand has gone on gambling. The rest just goes on paying for kids clubs, the odd takeaway, presents and days out.

I really hate this life.

GeorgeUK

Hi SVF

If you feel like you are struggling with the gambling or just want somewhere to vent, post on the gambling thread (link in my signature). There are a few of us here.

For the debt, can you try filling in a monthly statement of affairs? Try to keep the figures as accurate as possible rather than a guesstimate.
https://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

We might be able to find some areas where you can make savings such as utilities or insurance, and you may also be able to identify where the extra money is going if you keep a spending diary.

Now that you are facing the debt, it will get better. It may not be easier, but you will be moving in the right direction. Take a look at the figures in my signature to see what's possible.

churchrat

hello, welcome to mse. Just off to sleep soon but didn't want to read and run. There are a lot of people who are in much the same debt situation as yourself and you will find lots of support on here.

Can I ask if you see someone for the depression or is it just medication? Night time can be the very pits and it all can seem to be too much. But just from what you have written it sounds as tho you have a supportive family who love you and want you with them.

Have you talked about the gambling to any one else? Do you want to stop?
Sorry about all the questions-- a forum isn't the best place to get to know someone!
keep posting, there will be sound advice on here.

churchrat

di3004

Hi and welcome

You have made a good start by posting on here, well done for that!:T

You will get through this, once something is sorted keep to it you will get there.

You will receive great advice from these wonderful people on here, it will be like a heavy weight lifted and in time you will feel the benefit of dealing with your debt and in control again.

Wishing you and your family the best of luck.;)

sinkingveryfast

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 3
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 0
Partners monthly income after tax....... 800
Benefits................................ 1150
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1950

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 300
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 100
Electricity............................. 60
Gas..................................... 80
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 45
Telephone (land line)................... 30
Mobile phone............................ 25
TV Licence.............................. 10
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 18
Internet Services....................... 10
Groceries etc. ......................... 400
Clothing................................ 100
Petrol/diesel........................... 80
Road tax................................ 8
Car Insurance........................... 62
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 50
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 20
Contents insurance...................... 10
Life assurance ......................... 20
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1458


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 300000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 6000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 306000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 52000....(300)......3.9
Total secured & HP debts...... 52000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Credit Card (Vanquis)..........1500......75........45
Capital One....................900.......45........30
Total unsecured debts..........2400......120.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,950
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,458
Available for debt repayments........... 492
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 120
Amount left after debt repayments....... 372

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 306,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -52,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -2,400
Net Assets.............................. 251,600

sinkingveryfast

GeorgeUK wrote: »

Hi SVF

If you feel like you are struggling with the gambling or just want somewhere to vent, post on the gambling thread (link in my signature). There are a few of us here.

For the debt, can you try filling in a monthly statement of affairs? Try to keep the figures as accurate as possible rather than a guesstimate.


We might be able to find some areas where you can make savings such as utilities or insurance, and you may also be able to identify where the extra money is going if you keep a spending diary.

Now that you are facing the debt, it will get better. It may not be easier, but you will be moving in the right direction. Take a look at the figures in my signature to see what's possible.

Thanks George. I'll have a look at the gambling link. I hate myself for doing this. At the moment I have a nice family and fortunately my home - I know how gambling can affect some people - and I really want to nip it in the bud.

GeorgeUK

Council tax............................. 100
If paying over 10 months, can you ask to pay it over 12? Some councils allow this.

Electricity............................. 60
Gas..................................... 80
Quite high, have a look at the comparison sites t osee if you are getting the best deal. Also call them with the meter readings and get back any money if you are in credit.

Mobile phone............................ 25
PAYG?

Telephone (land line)................... 30
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 18
Internet Services....................... 10
Is this a package deal?

Groceries etc. ......................... 400
This is quite high. See if you can get it down slightly by using some shops own brands or making more meals from scratch.

Car Insurance........................... 62
Buildings insurance..................... 20
Contents insurance...................... 10
Life assurance ......................... 20
Again, i'd look to see if there are any better deals (uswitch, moneysupermarket). Also try to look into some of the cashback sites like Quidco when switching.

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
All of these should probably have something in them.

The good news is that you seem to have money left over at the end of the month and can cover all the bills. As you are not working right now, there is probably no point in trying to get a 0% card. Those interest rates are huge and you need to tackle these as much as possible. Pay the minimum to all debts and throw anything left at the debt with the highest APR. Hopefully that will soon reduce the interest you are paying and allowing you to reduce the debt quicker.

mandi

Sinking . Your food bill is very high £120.00 a week . This could easily be cut to £80.00 with a little planning .

sinkingveryfast

Thanks George. I think it hasn't helped with the casino gambling either. I've emailed the companies concerned to close the accounts. I've got a few questions to ask about the gambling side, but I'll ask them on the link you provided. Last year my debt was circa £12k, I just don't want it to keep going up and up.

sinkingveryfast

mandi wrote: »

Sinking . Your food bill is very high £120.00 a week . This could easily be cut to £80.00 with a little planning .

Yes, so George has just said. I'll have to check it out. Could do with losing some weight

3Dogs

sinkingveryfast wrote: »

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 3
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 0
Partners monthly income after tax....... 800
Benefits................................ 1150
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1950

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 300
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 100 ask to pay over 12 months instead of 10 to cut monthly amount
Electricity............................. 60 *
Gas..................................... 80 *
* Electric and Gas both seem high - check out cheaper suppliers and go through cashback sites for added value
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 45 again high - are you on a meter
Telephone (land line)................... 30 seems high - are you on cheapest rate
Mobile phone............................ 25
TV Licence.............................. 10
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 18
Internet Services....................... 10
Groceries etc. ......................... 400 fairly good for family but try tocut further by meal planning, bulk cooking/freezing, look on Old Style forum for ideas
Clothing................................ 100 cut this down as high
Petrol/diesel........................... 80
Road tax................................ 8
Car Insurance........................... 62 check out cheaper quote on renewal and go through cashback for added value
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 50 whatis this
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 20 good
Contents insurance...................... 10 good
Life assurance ......................... 20
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0 allow some here
Haircuts................................ 0 allow some here
Entertainment........................... 0 allow some here
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1458


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 300000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 6000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 306000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 52000....(300)......3.9
Total secured & HP debts...... 52000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Credit Card (Vanquis)..........1500......75........45
Capital One....................900.......45........30
Total unsecured debts..........2400......120.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,950
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,458
Available for debt repayments........... 492
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 120
Amount left after debt repayments....... 372

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 306,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -52,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -2,400
Net Assets.............................. 251,600

Posts like the one above from Mufc are few and far between so ignore it - the majority members of this forum are here to help not judge

I have made some suggestions above which you might consider. You appear to have a surplus per month but of course you have not included your family debts as creditors. If you don't know where your money is going each month, you and you wife should keep a spending diary and write EVERYTHING down you spend - it is amazing how the odd treat, McDon*lds, etc add up - be honest with yourself

I would advise throwing any surplus after the Vanquis card which has the higher APR and then all surplus to clear the Capital One card - that will leave you with family debts to clear

You can do this but you really need to get help with your gambling - George has given you very good advice - so check out that thread before you do anything

Good luck to you and your family