Running out of ideas

TwistedPsycho

Before I start I will point out that this is not for me, this is me trying to brainstorm for my brother.

Without going too far back in history, this is the current state of affiars:

• He has a "fiancee" who he is madly in love with as far as we know.
• She got thrown out of a flat apparently due to her always causing problems with the neighbours, damaging property, etc. My mother paid off her fine for damaging property (£50 or something small - I think it was to stop the police prosecuting) and took them in
• They ate my parents out of house and home, wrecked their bedroom, bullied my sister to the point of self-harm and managed to get my sister, mother and father (who own the house) onto anti-depressents. She run up hundred pound BT bills phoning him while he was on a course. They eventually went out together one day and found the locks changed.
• They moved in with HER parents who charge them every penny of their JSA in rent and storage of their stuff. They refused them access to any food in their property and because my brother looked so ill, my mum gave him £30 for food. When he turned up at their house with the food, it was taken away from them and told they will have to find more money for the rent as they seem to have enough money to buy food (baring in mind this is the first food we think he had in days!)
• When my brother said no he got beaten up by his future father in law and was told he had 7 days to get out (this Thursday)
• The council have refused to assist, as have the homeless shelters.

He now refuses to move back in with my parents unless she moves in too, which is something which will kill my parents (they have only just got off the anti-depressants) and will just end up at square 1.

I can not take them in as I live in a one bedroom flat with my wife.

Council and Homeless shelters are refusing to help them.


Does anyone have any ideas as to where we could go from here?

babymoo

Is there a reason why the council and homeless shelters are refusing to help?

alwaysonthego_2

If he is old enough to get engaged he should be responsible to take care of his own situation than trying to get his brother running about after him.

He is not priority so will not be helped by the LA.

He should try and get private rented accomodation where he can claim LHA and CTB.

He has abused his family's trust and made them ill, he needs to stand on his own feet.

SuziQ

She sounds like a real prize and either she needs psychiatric help or she is just out of control, and he would be netter off without her. Has she ever been assessed psychiatrically? Sounds to me like her parents know exactly what she is like, hence took precautions to stop trouble ever beginning. If he wants to stay with her then he needs to sort it himself. He can't expect his family to put up with her nonsense.Whilst people constantly bail them out then neither of them will ever learn what it takes to be a member pf society.

Oldernotwiser

I'd leave them too it - you can't help some people.

nannytone_2

your brother has chosen her.
so isnt it upto them to sort their own problems out?

ekkygirl

The brother may not have access to this forum.
I would suggest he goes on the council list and also any housing association list.Some Councils offer deposit schemes where they lend you the deposit on a private rental.
Is he ill? His doctor would be able to assist in writing to the council if he is. Are there any homeless hostels in your area? this can lead to a council tenancy eventually.
I hope you get sorted soon, sounds like a nightmare

TwistedPsycho

Hi and thanks for your replies.

I believe that he is on the council list however he is not a priority. It is believed that he is only ill because he is being forced to give all his money to her parents for "rent" although obviously they will simply argue there is no agreement in place so they could not just sit it out until they are evicted. He would probably end up getting beaten up again.

Unless he has developed something recently, we believe that his "rough appearance" is purely down to the fact that he has no money for food, nor being allowed any in the "future-in-laws" domicile. he IS however doing a DWP sponsored Painting and Decorating course which is the only way he keeps his JSA payments. You would think that their instructors would have also noticed something?

It transpires however that my mother has now relented and is letting them move back in, prompting my sister walking out and my father contemplating divorce.....

You can choose your friends......

alwaysonthego_2

TwistedPsycho wrote: »

Hi and thanks for your replies.

I believe that he is on the council list however he is not a priority. It is believed that he is only ill because he is being forced to give all his money to her parents for "rent" although obviously they will simply argue there is no agreement in place so they could not just sit it out until they are evicted. He would probably end up getting beaten up again.

Unless he has developed something recently, we believe that his "rough appearance" is purely down to the fact that he has no money for food, nor being allowed any in the "future-in-laws" domicile. he IS however doing a DWP sponsored Painting and Decorating course which is the only way he keeps his JSA payments. You would think that their instructors would have also noticed something?

It transpires however that my mother has now relented and is letting them move back in, prompting my sister walking out and my father contemplating divorce.....

You can choose your friends......

Good luck, I am sure your mother will need plenty of support, just don't get dragged into it x

heretolearn_2

You must all be worried sick about him. She sounds like a real nightmare - and in a sense it's not her fault as she's been raised in what is clearly a very dysfunctional way, but she is an adult now and she can choose whether she wants to carry on behaving like a chavvy thug, or join the rest of the world and behave normally. Your brother also has a choice - a lifetime of this or not. So although you are worried about him, his life is his problem.

I can understand your mum caving, she can't bear to see her boy homeless on the streets, but she needs lots of support from everyone. This time she needs to lay down clear rules on behaviour and what is expected from them, and warn them this is their last chance.

TwistedPsycho

Good Morning Everyone and thanks for your input.

After phoning home last night I think we have only just scratched the surface of all the details. I am not looking forward to the next few weeks at all. All I can say is I am glad I am not wanting to marry her!

EDIT: Just heard that they are not moving in after all after miraculasly finding a pair of rooms in a shared house where the landlord does not need references!