Shopaholic tips please

pink_numbers

I absolutely second the not carrying your debit card with you thing. It's the only thing that has worked for me, and I've tried a few things in my life.

KNOWING that you've only got £5 in your wallet, which you MAY need for an emergency, really does stop you from spending a couple of quid here and there. It's so simple to do but very effective.

Gingerjar

Hi, I've managed to stop doing silly frittery monthly overspending of around £300 per month by leaving all cards at home, having a bit of cash only in my purse daily (around £3) and taking a packed lunch and flask into work with me. I also make sure I always have a book or puzzle book with me. It's also made me think about spending money on clothes when I have to think about them overnight.

Get planning and stay strong.

You can do it!

Love Ginge

The_Moo

Hannah_10 wrote: »

Best thing I ever learned was to think about what I was really trying to buy. (Hint, it turns out it's not matierial things).

Think about the last overspend you made. Why did you make it? I'll tell you about mine...

Yesterday I was sitting in my boyriends car looking at the sea, knowing I had only left the house half an hour ago and I would be back there again in another hour. But I HAD TO have ice cream, not seaside ice cream, just a bar of it, like a Mars or something. I wasn't actually really hungry, and if I was I wouldn't have wanted proper food, like fruit, which was just as available. So why did I really overspend on a 4-pack of Lion ice cream bars?

Because I was unhappy, something's been on my mind, I can't tell him about it (or don't want to), I had been looking at the sea thinking of it and I wanted comfort.

In retrospect I could have had that comfort more healthily (physically, emotionally and financially) by just talking to him.

The real reasons we spend are emotional. Our true physical needs are miniscule compared to our consumption. We consume because we have been conditioned to do so to meet emotional needs we are equally conditioned not to acknowledge.

Think about it.

That is a truly inspirational post. Thank you Hannah xxx

debtdesperado

There is a brilliant, brilliant book called To Buy or Not to Buy: why we overshop and how to stop. It is brilliant on tackling just about every aspect of overshopping. I definitely recommend it!

I used to be terrible at wasting money - in fact just about all my debt was run up on things that I didn't need, want, use etc, and all small things.

I used to find myself in M&S on the way home, buying food each evening. Of course, I would then decide I needed to 'treat' myself to various other bits and pieces. One of the things I came to understand was that walking round the shop at the end of the day was a release of tension (at the time I hated my job). Because I felt so unhappy, I rewarded myself with food etc, which actually made me feel worse, which then made me shop more etc. It's a vicious circle.

Things that helped me (don't try all at once, just try one or two, and once they are a habit, then pick something else):

1. joining the NSD challenge and trying to have at least 3 nsds monday to Friday.

2. not walking round the shops (if you're not there, you can't buy it).

3. not reading women's magazines (if you don't know about it, you won't buy it).

4. it sounds as if you are panic-buying, and almost racking your brains when you are in the shops to find something to buy, in a way - I say this because of what you say about buying paracetamol. Do you feel a bit panicked when you race around the shops in your breaks? Do you worry that you won't have something you need and therefore you buy in advance and stockpile things? This is definitely something to nail if you do. In reality, if you had a headache, you would be let out of the office to go and get some paracetamol, or else someone would have some in the office. Either way, you could get what you need. Tell yourself that unless you need it right now (ie in the next 5 minutes), you don't need it. If you feel panicky, get out of the shop!

5. take packed lunches and all your food and snacks for the day.

6. force yourself to pay for everything in cash and don't use your debit card - for the first week, tell yourself you can buy what you want, but you just have to go to the cashpoint first. I guarantee that you will be horrified by how quickly you burn through your money, and this will slow you down in the following weeks!

hope there is something useful there.

Mischa8

debtdesperado wrote: »

There is a brilliant, brilliant book called To Buy or Not to Buy: why we overshop and how to stop. It is brilliant on tackling just about every aspect of overshopping. I definitely recommend it!

I used to be terrible at wasting money - in fact just about all my debt was run up on things that I didn't need, want, use etc, and all small things.

I used to find myself in M&S on the way home, buying food each evening. Of course, I would then decide I needed to 'treat' myself to various other bits and pieces. One of the things I came to understand was that walking round the shop at the end of the day was a release of tension (at the time I hated my job). Because I felt so unhappy, I rewarded myself with food etc, which actually made me feel worse, which then made me shop more etc. It's a vicious circle.

Things that helped me (don't try all at once, just try one or two, and once they are a habit, then pick something else):

1. joining the NSD challenge and trying to have at least 3 nsds monday to Friday.

2. not walking round the shops (if you're not there, you can't buy it).

3. not reading women's magazines (if you don't know about it, you won't buy it).

4. it sounds as if you are panic-buying, and almost racking your brains when you are in the shops to find something to buy, in a way - I say this because of what you say about buying paracetamol. Do you feel a bit panicked when you race around the shops in your breaks? Do you worry that you won't have something you need and therefore you buy in advance and stockpile things? This is definitely something to nail if you do. In reality, if you had a headache, you would be let out of the office to go and get some paracetamol, or else someone would have some in the office. Either way, you could get what you need. Tell yourself that unless you need it right now (ie in the next 5 minutes), you don't need it. If you feel panicky, get out of the shop!

5. take packed lunches and all your food and snacks for the day.

6. force yourself to pay for everything in cash and don't use your debit card - for the first week, tell yourself you can buy what you want, but you just have to go to the cashpoint first. I guarantee that you will be horrified by how quickly you burn through your money, and this will slow you down in the following weeks!

hope there is something useful there.

Hi - thanks for your reply - the other replies are great but this seems to be one of those I can really relate to.

The book you recommend was actually one off Amazon I was going to buy so that is coming with me.

I think the cash idea is great. I'd love to be able to not bring my debit card but it's so handy for emergencies. I rarely use my CC now anyway and don't know the PIN offhand.

My job is really very busy so I try not to go out - but I get where you're coming from re finding things to buy - that's very true. But I do need other things like conditioner etc! I'm actually fairly strict with myself and in Boots just go for what I need rather than my old £30 a month habit (this is going back 2 years ago though!).

A friend of mine has just told me she wants to save money for laminate flooring and has told me her *big nights out* are banned - apart from the odd few drinks in the pub and we're doing aqua aerobics together and also do yoga once a week too which do save money.

I do read Now but really I rarely (nowadays) act on what I want from there - ie makeup etc - because I have so much now (overspending in the past) that I really don't need to buy any more - which is great in a way.

Anyway thanks so much for your help and responses. Very useful.:T

Mischa8

Hannah_10 wrote: »

I found that when I first worked out I spend for any reason but need that carrying a bigger handbag and a lunch box worked... for all of about a week. Then I started buying sandwiches out rather than use the ones in the lunch box. I would justify it to myself by saying "it's only £2.20" or "I can give the other sandwiches to the dog when I get home and save on dog food", or "I really REALLY just don't want cheese"... Any excuse at all but the truth, which was that I didn't need the sandwich in the packet.

What I really needed to do was stop myself before the tills and ask myself why did I think I wanted this, what was I trying to get out of it, how come the sandwich in the lunch box wasn't good enough but the one in the packet in my hand was? What was it I thought the one in the packet was going to do for me that the one I brought from home wasn't?

Tackling overspending was, for me, a lot about picking out the cr*p int he advertising messages from the truth. "It's not just food, it's M&S food" what does that mean? It doesn't mean anything, effective though isn't it. Puts a subtle suggestion in your mind that your sarnies from home aren't as good (not even when you deliberately made them really good). It says to the back of your mind that nothing else is worthy, your attempts at food are inferior, that in order to be a person who knows anything about anything at all you should eat what we serve, anything else is mundane. Oh they are clever people those advertisers they really are.

Next time you find yourself in the M&S food hall, packet sarnie in hand, ask yourself- who's conning who here? What are you really buying? Consolation for the vacuum inside that says "I'm not good enough". Stick 10p in the guide dogs box on your way out the door empty handed, then you have genuinely done something that raises the quality of person you are. M&S food IS just food.

See - that's the thing - I wouldn't buy sandwiches at a shop if I had them in my bag or I'd just put the sandwiches in my bag in the fridge and save for the next day. I don't like waste that way.

But yes - I agree that sometimes one is dissatisfied with what you've got and wants something different.

foxgloves

I've weaned myself right off it over the last 3 or 4 years or so. I know I've posted this before, but no bag of tat I come home with is going to make me feel as good as being almost debt-free feels. Try & deal in cash as much as possible. When you're looking at something & seriously thinking abut buying it, imagine yourself handing that cash over. Say it costs 20 quid. That's not a big amount, but if you do it habitually, you could very easily do it 4 more times and then that's 100 quid less you can throw at loans/debt or 100 quid further away from doing something you really want to do. A 100 quid a month overspend on a budget doesn't seem like anything in the scheme of things, but it adds up to 1200 debt a year........and I have to say I've been a spender for VERY much longer than I've been a careful budegtter. Discovering my 'Inner Scrooge' was the best thing I ever did. (2nd best thing was getting husband to discover his!) It was interesting that when I had an overhaul of my wardrobe/make-up draw, etc, shortly after the LBM, most of the stuff I'd just bought on a whim tended to be the stuff I'd worn or used either never or very little. Of course, I do still buy clothes, but I think I now choose better and buy things which will make several outfits. I would never go back to how I was.

Mischa8

foxgloves wrote: »

I've weaned myself right off it over the last 3 or 4 years or so. I know I've posted this before, but no bag of tat I come home with is going to make me feel as good as being almost debt-free feels. Try & deal in cash as much as possible. When you're looking at something & seriously thinking abut buying it, imagine yourself handing that cash over. Say it costs 20 quid. That's not a big amount, but if you do it habitually, you could very easily do it 4 more times and then that's 100 quid less you can throw at loans/debt or 100 quid further away from doing something you really want to do. A 100 quid a month overspend on a budget doesn't seem like anything in the scheme of things, but it adds up to 1200 debt a year........and I have to say I've been a spender for VERY much longer than I've been a careful budegtter. Discovering my 'Inner Scrooge' was the best thing I ever did. (2nd best thing was getting husband to discover his!) It was interesting that when I had an overhaul of my wardrobe/make-up draw, etc, shortly after the LBM, most of the stuff I'd just bought on a whim tended to be the stuff I'd worn or used either never or very little. Of course, I do still buy clothes, but I think I now choose better and buy things which will make several outfits. I would never go back to how I was.

You're right actually - being debt-free is an amazing feel and doesn't compare with all the shopping bags from sprees. I've had that before. I just need to pay off what I owe now and then step away from the CCs.

I know exactly what you mean about clothes (choosing better etc) - see reply above. Same with makeup now - I got something new recently and was disappointed (but already used) as it wasn't the same as what I wanted before and wasn't needed, really, I was just sold by the sales assistant. Now, I'm more wary.

Thanks though.

steerpiker

What a wonderful thread! Just what I needed at this moment in time. I've had a bad fall off the MSE wagon.
I'll write a longer message next time. but I have a (paid) babysitting appointment to go to!

Mischa8

steerpiker wrote: »

What a wonderful thread! Just what I needed at this moment in time. I've had a bad fall off the MSE wagon.
I'll write a longer message next time. but I have a (paid) babysitting appointment to go to!

Yeah - I was looking on the forums for shopaholic stuff - but a lot of the posts were old.

Like you say - people can fall off the old *don't spend wagon* from time to time.

And your idea about babysitting - I know a few people who could do with this service a few nights a week occasionally - it'd be fine on the nights I am at home and the money can be saved or spent on my nights out!

:beer: