Shopaholic tips please

Mischa8

Not sure if this is the correct place to be posting but I'd like help with shopaholic tips.

I work in a large town as a legal secretary (been there almost 3 months now) not less than 2 minutes walk away from 2 last department stores, a large shopping centre and before work (I get in on the train about 10-15 minutes earlier than the time I start work on the train) it's only too easy to either dive into Sainsburys and Boots or M&S Foodhall and spend small sums of money on what I *need* for the week. It doesn't help that the town where I live is very affluent (actually Wimbledon) - there are no stores like Primark/Poundland there - the closest to cheap is Superdrug and Morrisons! I do, however, try not to go up to the Village (very expensive shops there!) and also try not to go to nearby Kingston too much (great shopping).

I have a CC with balance of £5K and loan of £1K to Lloyds to pay back - every month, I am in credit on my current account and paying everything back and managing fine there. Even managed to save in the past. However I am earning approx £5K less than I was doing temping this year/past 2 years.

I managed, even then, whilst temping and working in Central London (Victoria) to bypass shops, even larger ones like House of Fraser.

So all I want (and that is all, because I know how to save and have done so in the past) is SHOPAHOLIC TIPS please.

I was on Amazon last week and save 2 new books on shopaholics/how to cope but then thought it'd be a bit ironic trying to save money and then spending it on books, albeit to help me!

I have money to pay rent/bills etc.

so any tips/advice would be much appreciated and if in wrong place please move it. thanks!

Hannah_10

Best thing I ever learned was to think about what I was really trying to buy. (Hint, it turns out it's not matierial things).

Think about the last overspend you made. Why did you make it? I'll tell you about mine...

Yesterday I was sitting in my boyriends car looking at the sea, knowing I had only left the house half an hour ago and I would be back there again in another hour. But I HAD TO have ice cream, not seaside ice cream, just a bar of it, like a Mars or something. I wasn't actually really hungry, and if I was I wouldn't have wanted proper food, like fruit, which was just as available. So why did I really overspend on a 4-pack of Lion ice cream bars?

Because I was unhappy, something's been on my mind, I can't tell him about it (or don't want to), I had been looking at the sea thinking of it and I wanted comfort.

In retrospect I could have had that comfort more healthily (physically, emotionally and financially) by just talking to him.

The real reasons we spend are emotional. Our true physical needs are miniscule compared to our consumption. We consume because we have been conditioned to do so to meet emotional needs we are equally conditioned not to acknowledge.

Think about it.

Mischa8

Thanks for replying.

That is so true. Often I do pick up things I *don't* want or need.

And sometimes I don't *think* about a purchase but I do tend to do that when I walk through department store (short-cut to DX post-box).

Very good advice though and I think if I make my lunches more or ensure I have things I need (like paracetamol, snacks etc) in my bag then I won't need to go into supermarket/Boots etc.

Mischa8

Mischa8 wrote: »

Thanks for replying.

That is so true. Often I do pick up things I *don't* want or need.

And sometimes I don't *think* about a purchase but I do tend to do that when I walk through department store (short-cut to DX post-box).

Very good advice though and I think if I make my lunches more or ensure I have things I need (like paracetamol, snacks etc) in my bag then I won't need to go into supermarket/Boots etc.

also - very true about the emotional side of things.

Hannah_10

I found that when I first worked out I spend for any reason but need that carrying a bigger handbag and a lunch box worked... for all of about a week. Then I started buying sandwiches out rather than use the ones in the lunch box. I would justify it to myself by saying "it's only £2.20" or "I can give the other sandwiches to the dog when I get home and save on dog food", or "I really REALLY just don't want cheese"... Any excuse at all but the truth, which was that I didn't need the sandwich in the packet.

What I really needed to do was stop myself before the tills and ask myself why did I think I wanted this, what was I trying to get out of it, how come the sandwich in the lunch box wasn't good enough but the one in the packet in my hand was? What was it I thought the one in the packet was going to do for me that the one I brought from home wasn't?

Tackling overspending was, for me, a lot about picking out the cr*p int he advertising messages from the truth. "It's not just food, it's M&S food" what does that mean? It doesn't mean anything, effective though isn't it. Puts a subtle suggestion in your mind that your sarnies from home aren't as good (not even when you deliberately made them really good). It says to the back of your mind that nothing else is worthy, your attempts at food are inferior, that in order to be a person who knows anything about anything at all you should eat what we serve, anything else is mundane. Oh they are clever people those advertisers they really are.

Next time you find yourself in the M&S food hall, packet sarnie in hand, ask yourself- who's conning who here? What are you really buying? Consolation for the vacuum inside that says "I'm not good enough". Stick 10p in the guide dogs box on your way out the door empty handed, then you have genuinely done something that raises the quality of person you are. M&S food IS just food.

mum2one

My top tips - do you really need it

sounds daft - but take a note book, note what the article is the price and give it a mark out of 10 -

Then quiet 2 mins, list the plus points about that item / negatives - clothes

Things like these - make the list 10 items, - more syclogical (excuse speling), as you know your mind and what makes you tick.

When will I wear it
Is it an item that I'm going to need extra accesories for
Do I want it just because it has a sale tag on it
Do I want it - just because its there
Was it in window display (draw you in)
Will I wear it again
If I get fed up - would I ebay it and get a couple of quid - not good expensive items

Bet by the time you have done your list and scored each out of 10, if the item your complete the list, if it isn't and you've given up the list - just an I'm bored.

---

Just reminded me of the TV programme - can't remember what it was called - basically the american style swishing..

Basically grab a few friends have a girlie night in, you all agree to the number of garments, accessores etc, say 5 each - doesn't have to be clothes, canbe shoes, handbags - good condition, then everyone look, say everyone brought 5 items in, they can take 5 items back, new wardbrobe - for free.

Any items left,if that person doesn't want to take them home. charity shop them, everyone wins, xx

PS - I was an emotional buyer, what was to an extent still is, I'm a plus size lady, so my choices are limited, mainly Evans, Ann harvey (sale items only), so I use to bulk buy just for the fact that I could find clothes to fit me. I have lost count of times I've had bag fulls unwore, or wore couple times, then they don't fit, changed my mind, ended up on ebay for couple of quid, friends, charity shop. I guess my money stopped taht, then store cards, as your not paying with cash it doesn't matter. I have finally weaned myself away from that, i did the challenge on here last year, not allowed to spend more than £100 on clothes, (allowed extras - say for weddings etc0, or if you wanted ot go over the £100 - you had to earn it - by selling existing clothes to make the money. I came out still under £100. Did start this year and fell flat by March, but there was a reason, I was due to go to Tunisia and cuba, needed holiday clothes, but since then, only brought a few things.

I did go down the same path with my daughter, projecting my buying to her, and again lost count of stuff given away, her best friend, same age, but smaller, her mum hasn't had t kit her out for 3 yrs, over 75% stuff new..... I know that I over compensated as her dad has nevr been around, and in a way that way my of coping with the situation. I still do it to an extent now, but am learning slowly....... xx

Hannah_10

syclogical (excuse speling)

I think you mean psychological?

feedumall

i love ad slogans (hand picked berries)they cannot be picked any other way:p/freshly picked, everything is fresh when it is picked then it sits on the shelf for days:eek:

themull1

Only buy something that you can take back the next day for a full refund. And see if your Library has the shopaholic books!!!

Hannah_10

LOL Feedumall how about ... "Save £100"... by SPENDING £200 :rotfl:

Mischa8

mum2one wrote: »

My top tips - do you really need it

sounds daft - but take a note book, note what the article is the price and give it a mark out of 10 -

Then quiet 2 mins, list the plus points about that item / negatives - clothes

Things like these - make the list 10 items, - more syclogical (excuse speling), as you know your mind and what makes you tick.

When will I wear it
Is it an item that I'm going to need extra accesories for
Do I want it just because it has a sale tag on it
Do I want it - just because its there
Was it in window display (draw you in)
Will I wear it again
If I get fed up - would I ebay it and get a couple of quid - not good expensive items

Bet by the time you have done your list and scored each out of 10, if the item your complete the list, if it isn't and you've given up the list - just an I'm bored.

---

Just reminded me of the TV programme - can't remember what it was called - basically the american style swishing..

Basically grab a few friends have a girlie night in, you all agree to the number of garments, accessores etc, say 5 each - doesn't have to be clothes, canbe shoes, handbags - good condition, then everyone look, say everyone brought 5 items in, they can take 5 items back, new wardbrobe - for free.

Any items left,if that person doesn't want to take them home. charity shop them, everyone wins, xx

PS - I was an emotional buyer, what was to an extent still is, I'm a plus size lady, so my choices are limited, mainly Evans, Ann harvey (sale items only), so I use to bulk buy just for the fact that I could find clothes to fit me. I have lost count of times I've had bag fulls unwore, or wore couple times, then they don't fit, changed my mind, ended up on ebay for couple of quid, friends, charity shop. I guess my money stopped taht, then store cards, as your not paying with cash it doesn't matter. I have finally weaned myself away from that, i did the challenge on here last year, not allowed to spend more than £100 on clothes, (allowed extras - say for weddings etc0, or if you wanted ot go over the £100 - you had to earn it - by selling existing clothes to make the money. I came out still under £100. Did start this year and fell flat by March, but there was a reason, I was due to go to Tunisia and cuba, needed holiday clothes, but since then, only brought a few things.

I did go down the same path with my daughter, projecting my buying to her, and again lost count of stuff given away, her best friend, same age, but smaller, her mum hasn't had t kit her out for 3 yrs, over 75% stuff new..... I know that I over compensated as her dad has nevr been around, and in a way that way my of coping with the situation. I still do it to an extent now, but am learning slowly....... xx

Thanks for this.

I know this sounds really silly, but now am in a really small office (4 staff) and because I'm nearest the supermarkets (and it saves anyone else going out - the other secretary) I tend to buy milk for the week. Hence, other temptations in supermarket! I normally am really good and do just pick up say tangerines etc. I rarely get cash-back nor packaged sandwiches (I hate the taste!) but I tend to reward myself with treats like gingerbread men or fun sized chocolate bars for work - or if I need anything for dinner later on that night.

I have been quite good lately when it comes to accessories etc - I did buy something in the sales and another item partly for work - so *work clothes* I don't feel quite so guilty about. And there are some gorgeous boots in Elys (dept store) which I'd love but no way am I buying them.

And was my birthday last week so asked for Top Shop gift card for part of present. Great thing too was for my birthday I got 4 different pairs of earrings for presents - faux pearl everyday ones, black diamante glitzy ones etc - so no need to buy jewellery for now!

I think I will be alright I just need to find other stuff to do - maybe walk more - the only thing is - up the steep hill (good walk!) to almost the Common (Wimbledon) I have to pass through bloody Wimbledon Village - and that is packed with stores I love, Joseph, LK Bennett sale stores etc! why is life so cruel?! :eek:

I did want to try swishing too and think I will do so.