Rented flat- problems with a neighbour

lilysgarden

Hi,

I'd really appreciate any advice someone can offer. My b/f and I have just moved into a new flat after months of problems with our landlord in our last flat. We've been here 6 weeks, have a new landlord whose really understanding of the crap we had with our old landlord and willing to have our pet mice in the flat. It's a lovely flat, only about 5 years old, decent size, convenient for work etc. We were so excited to finally move into a flat with no damp or rat infestations. The list of positives was endless until around a fortnight after we moved in.

A couple of weeks after moving in, I caught one of the colds that's flying around with a horrible hacking cough. Not a pleasant experience to say the least. As I got better, my b/f caught the same illness but sadly his turned into a chest infection and his coughing was ten times worse. One night about 3 weeks ago, I was out for the count getting over my illness and my b/f had a coughing fit, when he heard someone shouting at him to "shut the f*** up".

We didn't take any notice but about a week later, a cheeky fat bint from the flat downstairs but next to where ours is, knocked on the door and offered cough medicine. Not wanting trouble I thanked her, said we were being sponsored by benelin and had antibiotics for the old fella's chest infection before closing the door. This hacked me off but I thought nothing of it until we were lying in bed last night talking. I'd got in around 1am after a house party and hadn't seen the b/f since 6am on friday morning when he left for work. As we were chatting we heard "oi mate, shut the !!!! up".

Now, we're both pretty chilled with extremely stressful jobs that can sometimes mean long hours at work. We don't want to return to a home where we don't feel we can let our hair down. After nearly 20 hours since I'd seen my b/f, I'd like to be able to ask him how his day was so we can both let off steam. But what do we do? The letting agents we got the flat through seem really helpful in regards to problems with the flat. Do we speak to the letting agents or go straight to the building management?

I feel pretty cheesed off about the whole thing as we spent alot of time finding this flat and alot of money moving in etc. We're conscious of the neighbours (which we weren't used to in our old flat) and keep the music low and so on. We haven't had a house warming yet despite our friends and family wanting one because we want to get on with the neighbours before doing anything like that. But at the moment we feel scared to even talk, let alone play music or have groups of friends around because this one neighbour just seems to have taken a dislike against us. Especially given they haven't complained when other neighbours have had party's etc since we've been there and not had problems.

Any advice on what we do about this?

PasturesNew

Do you have laminate flooring? Or any form of wood flooring?

Sound can travel downwards easily.

If you can get some good padding under furniture legs, and some thick rugs down where you mostly move about it could stop some of the noise transferrance.

The fact you can hear them saying the words means there's clearly a problem with noise transferrance between the two flats - and as you're physically in contact with their ceiling it's probably amplifying down there and really a pain in the butt.

You could 'fix' the problem for well under £100s worth of rugs, which you can keep for life/take with you.

poppysarah

Get her some flowers. Say thanks for the cough medicine and you hope you'll both be well for years now.

olly300

The neighbour hasn't taken a dislike to you she just doesn't want to hear you intimate conversations and more in the middle of the night.

llh189

Maybe the fat bint from the next but one flat has actually got the short straw here, I am not sure I'd like to live next door to you!

Her dropping the cough medicine around was maybe her polite way of pointing out that whilst she feels sorry for you being poorly listening to you both coughing your guts up the whole time is a little bit of a pain in the !!!!.

To top at all when you are better, you arrive home at 1 am and then proceed to talk loudly enough that she can hear you!

Blimey after just 6 weeks, she must be loving the fact, mice and and all that you've moved in!

You've made no mention that you can her her, or that you are disturbed by your neighbours, so maybe the problem lies with you and not the fat bint from downstairs!

My advice - firstly I'd learn a little tolerance, you just moved in, she probably been there a while, learn to adjust to your new surrounding.

The way your carrying on, it would be a surprise if she wasn't planning to report you!

agile83

I myself live in a flat with seemingly paper mache walls and floors. I can hear my neighbours above and below. I can even trace my neighbour above's movements when he goes to the toilet at night. You can hear him get out of bed, walk to the bathroom, urinate (yes i can hear this) and then flush the toilet and wash his hands - Well most times he does.

He also has a habit of playing fallout boy and saying "you know what I mean" constantly really really loud. After only a few minutes this can get beyond annoying. To hear someone with a hacking cough going on and on would drive me insane. Then just as im drifting off to hear you catching up at 1am in the morning about your day would tip me over the edge. I would be sat there thinking "i need to be up for work in 6 hours".

If you want to talk, either go in the lounge or wait till morning. Dont do it directly above or below someones bedroom especially the way these flat are built these days. You may as well be in the same room talking into their ears.

Having said all that there is no excuse for shouting and swearing as this is rude of your neighbours but also must be intimidating for you both. I do hope all gets solved going forward.

loracan1

Shouting at someone who's coughing through no fault of their own is rude, but talking loudly enough to disturb someone at 1 in the morning is equally rude.

milliebear00001

Having lived underneath people who, shall we say, kept considerably 'different hours' to me and my partner, I would suggest it is your neighbour who has the raw end of this deal. I too, would be annoyed at being woken at one in the morning, hearing your music/TV/talking/coughing etc. I ended up having to move.

I'd suggest you assume she can hear everything you're doing, and make an effort to be as quiet as possible - particularly after 11pm. If you do have wooden floors, I'd speak to the LL ASAP about getting them replaced with carpet and good quality underlay.

ovy_2

I think this may be a problem with both parties..

As other people have said, talking at 1am isn't great, every noise is amplified in the middle of the night when everything is quiet. So she probably heard you without a doubt, I can often hear the people below me when in the living room, i can't hear what they are saying but it's muffled.

If she did swear saying shut up, it's quite rude imo to even shout, she could of wrote a note to you explaining the issue, Why don't you go and talk to her about it, and just explain that you didn't know there was a problem, If you're not going to talk about it, it's just going to get worse, you will just end up annoying other people. remember she did try to be nice by giving you medicine, return the favour...

the people below me sometimes have their music on loud, not at stupid o'clock, but it doesn't bother me i just turn mine up and something, I do the same, another neighbour to the side of me sometimes comes home at 2am and closes the door, but just lets it close, so it gives a slight bang, and i can hear him getting into bed, but again, i just ignore it cause i do the same some weekends.

I think you've just got to learn to live with it and respect others at the same time.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Are you my next door neighbour? It sounds like it, except you don't mention slamming the so dding front door at 12.55am and then starting the full volume conversation.

john_white

am i missing something? I mean the OP has stated that a normal conversation can be heard word for word and the advice is 'talk quietly'?

I would not expect to hear anything other than loud music or banging (DIY not the other!) in a newish property.

I had to live in similar conditions, we could hear our neighbours every move, and knew their routine, their criminal activities etc. They were not nice people and to be honest it will start to take over. Honestly think of the things they can hear, you'll not want to even talk in your flat.

I'd move out (we sold up), as your renting I'd say the flat is not fit for purpose as the noise transference sounds unnacceptable. In my opinon of course.