Avoiding unwanted and expensive Xmas presents

Jay-Jay_4

I must just add that I know it seems excessive to offer a list of presents whichincluding some rather expensive ones but I have some family members who INSIST on spending £100 on me no matter what it's on. I can either carry on getting useless expensive presents or I can pick my own.

beachbeth

I wonder if he's buying expensive presents so that he feels less guilty about wondering what to buy you? I think you should tell him that you want money/gift vouchers for a specific shop (I like Next ).

Tell him that you've got your eye on something expensive in that shop but want to enjoy buying it in the sale after Xmas. Don't tell him what the item is (doesn't matter if you have something in mind or not). Then tell him that if he should buy you a present then you will just return it and use the money towards the item you are after. If he does buy you something then you must return it to give him the message. If he complies and just gives you vouchers then make sure you look pleased as punch and thank him (he's a man and they need the praise! )

I know it means not opening a proper present on the day, but after a couple of Christmases of getting him used to not buying you a present you can then be specific and say "I would like X for Christmas from Next/Debenhams/Boots" and make sure its a shop he can get to easily.

beachbeth

Jay-Jay - I always do a list too! My hubbie loves knowing exactly what I want. I put silly expensive things on that I know I can't have and he knows Im joking! But I also put exactly what chocolates I like and what smaller presents. Im not a big chocolate eater but love chocolate liquers, After 8's, ferro rocher and Revels. Id hate to get a box of Milk Tray or other such chocs (yuck!).

He tends to go on Christmas Eve and just gets everything he can from the list. This is his preparation for Christmas!!!! No wonder he always says he really enjoys the run-up to the big day! He doesn't have to do anything! - Typical!

Murtle

Jay-Jay our lists are MUCH more descriptive, we are advised where to buy the item, how much it costs and what colour etc. Quite often the product code as well.....


To the OP - ask for the receipts!!!


and buy him a hearing aid/really strong reading glasses - when he asks why, explain you thought he had a problem in hearing what you really wanted/reading the notes you've left him

Queenie

morganlefay wrote:

.... I get greeted with 'Well where would I buy that?' or 'I won't have time to get one of those' (even 3 weeks away from The Day), which is why I tried buying my own present from him, for which I can never get him to give me the cash without extreme nagging, which I don't want to do . .......:huh: :huh: :huh:

Nothing worse than feeling under appreciated which in turn leads to feeling uncared for/about!

On a practical level answering his [STRIKE]excuses[/STRIKE] justifications of "What, how, why, where, when" perhaps you could set up an Amazon wishlist which he and your daughters could have access to. That way, the money wouldn't be an issue because he'd have to use his own account to make the order Alternatively, you could draw up an email of links to various online 'shops' where you've seen items you'd like and email them all your Santa list. He certainly wouldn't have to wonder where to get things from and the terms/delivery times are always clearly stated.

The jewellery boxes may be hideous to you but not everyone shares the sames tastes and you might be able to sell them through Ebay and recoup some of the money, or ... re-gift them to someone who may like them. Alternatively, could you 'make' them into something you could use? Rip out the innards, paint the outside/cover with fabric and then use it to store photo's or even recipe cards?

Could it be that there is something playing on his mind and he simply isn't enjoying the whole experience? In which case, you both need to sit down and have a long chat about what your expectations are of Christmas/family and each other. Do you have a shared dream/goal that you are both working towards? If you haven't, you should ( ) and if you have, maybe that is one way to approach your differing views of the expense of the items he's bought you.

You clearly enjoy Christmas and all the trappings of it and you do appear to feel that no one is giving you reciprocal time, thoughtfulness and caring. Why not make this Christmas completely different and suggest that as a family gift you all share, you take yourselves off and spend it in a Hotel or at least the Christmas dinner part, so that you *do* end up feeling pampered. Maybe that's the one gift your DH would take on board, booking Christmas lunch out?

Hope you find some way to resolve this.

Queenie

Jay-Jay wrote:

I must just add that I know it seems excessive to offer a list of presents whichincluding some rather expensive ones but I have some family members who INSIST on spending £100 on me no matter what it's on. I can either carry on getting useless expensive presents or I can pick my own.

Admit it, your just a greedy guts

Biddyrolo

I leave the Sulis catalogue somewhere obvious with the things I'd like marked.

saving-grace

I hate to see money wasted on a present I don't really want. Now I tell my OH I don't want anything (and fortunately he's happy for me to go out and spend on myself when I do want something - but I'm not extravagant) and that I'd rather spend the money on a meal out together.

cazarol

Thought I'd share this one with you all.
Last year I wrote a specific list when asked, it included a couple of books, some perfume and I wrote 'Events Gift voucher'. Events being a small underwear shop locally which I dont go in very often as it is a bit pricey.
Christmas morning arrived, yippee I'd got both the books and the perfume and ......................................a £30 Gift voucher for EVANS which is still in my purse.
Oh dear

Jay-Jay_4

cazarol wrote:

Thought I'd share this one with you all.
Last year I wrote a specific list when asked, it included a couple of books, some perfume and I wrote 'Events Gift voucher'. Events being a small underwear shop locally which I dont go in very often as it is a bit pricey.
Christmas morning arrived, yippee I'd got both the books and the perfume and ......................................a £30 Gift voucher for EVANS which is still in my purse.
Oh dear

:rotfl: Bless him... at least he tried


Reminds me, after my first daughter was born I did lots of exercise and was a size 10-12 by xmas. My (now ex) husband bought me a pair of size 18 pyjamas