Avoiding unwanted and expensive Xmas presents

morganlefay

Does anyone have any ideas about how you go about getting your OH to get you something you'd actually like for Xmas, rather than the thing he thought you'd like which costs more than he can afford and which you can't really admit that you hate ? He's got birthdays cracked - he just says 'I'll get you a present later' and doesn't, but Xmas of late has seen all sorts of horrors emerging from the wrappers. I have tried buying something nice (and modestly priced) for him to give me but he never gives me the money, and lists left around the house, or even shoved prominently under his nose don't seem to connect. I buy him wonderful things, having listened carefully through the year whenever he talks of things he'd like. Or is this just a bloke thing ? We've been married 34 years and he used to be quite good at it, and now the lack of thought and attention coupled with the spending of too much money pointlessly is starting to make me very irritable. Any good ideas before we enter the danger season ?

rchddap1

Sometimes my parents decide that they'd like to get something nice between them. So instead of each buying something individually for the other....they decide on an item / thing they'd like and then go off together and get it. Usually means no pressie for each other on the day, but at least then both end up getting something wanted / useful.

It also allows them to wait for the sales after xmas to try to save a bit of cash too (or to just get a better version of the item / thing).

Linda32

When I joined MSE my other half decided it was a good idea as well and takes onboard alot of what I tell him is said on here. So in that case I'm lucky.

We decided ourselves that we would buy somthing the other wanted, rather than just any old thing, which although nice wasn't wanted.

Is this possible to discuss with your OH?

For example last birthday OH had a subscription to a magazine he always bought. I've never bought him that before, but of course subscribing is cheaper and we could afford it so its fitted in with MSE.

elljay20

I would just be frank and say " i would like so and so for xmas please". What sort of things has he been buying you?

Jay-Jay_4

I always seem to get 'almost' what I want but not quite. Last year I got a piece of A4 paper and wrote this exact list (yes I still have it and I drew on the smiley faces )

For Xmas Mummy would like.....

A new wheel nut thingie for my car and a decent jack

Riding gloves (small/medium)

Some snazzy jods (size 28)

Hair serum and shiny stuff (expensive please )

Knickers

Socks

Digital Camera (!) (4mp or more )

Nice jewellery box

A beautiful ornament to look at with my eyes

GHD Hair Straighteners :shocked:

---

Thinks you might like to know :rolleyes2

Bra size = ****

Knickers = size **

Size ** clothes

Favourite Beauty salon = *****

No make up please unless it's expensive and I choose it.

Shoes 4 or 5 ( 4 for slippers and heels, 5 for anything else)

I got everything I asked for and I liked it all

ok ok, I know it takes the fun out of it but my hubby has people asking him "what does JJ want for Xmas" so he gave out things from the list. These people bought me something that they knew I wanted and it was hassle free for my hubby who spends a lot of time thinking of gifts but always manages to get it a little bit wrong.

Norma_Desmond

Why don't you call a halt to the whole palava? DH and I agreed some years ago to not get involved with the commercial side of Christmas and asked our respective families to donate money to charity instead.
This doesn't apply to lovely 'unexpected' gifts throughout the rest of the year tho', and it's lovely to come home to a little treat from your Hubby, bought because he knows you'd love it, and costing not a lot; one of my favourite things ever is a tiny antique carving of a mouse purchased from a junk shop for £1.00. The thought was there and I treasure it!
Why should we all be forced into the merry-go-round of shopping for expensive tat that no one really wants, and IMHO, leaving out lists of 'wants' is tasteless and greedy.

morganlefay

I posted this thread because Ithought that it might be a more positive way to get ideas - believe me, i've tried saying loudly and clearly what I'd like, but amazingly (even though the house will be full of food, and grown-up daughters will STILL be expecting a generous visit from Santa, which I enjoy organizing, and he has not had to lift a finger) I get greeted with 'Well where would I buy that?' or 'I won't have time to get one of those' (even 3 weeks away from The Day), which is why I tried buying my own present from him, for which I can never get him to give me the cash without extreme nagging, which I don't want to do . Last year I got a huge and very ugly jewellry box (I have had several of those over the years). I hide such jewellry as I have in cunning places to fool burglars so putting it all in this nasty box would be making life much too easy for the burglar, tho OH was obviously v pleased with 'good gift' idea. I can see I sound very whiny, but it seems such a waste of money and I think I've tried everything sensible.......:huh: :huh: :huh:

Norma_Desmond

thriftlady_2

Norma have you seen this website ?

http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/

Norma_Desmond

Yes thanks thiftylady!
Because I'm opposed to the rampant commercialism of Christmas I've been the butt of some pretty nasty 'Scrooge' comments......I love an unexpected gift (who doesn't!) but I won't be dictated to by retailers/media/family on what I can buy and when!

thriftlady_2

He sounds like a difficult case I think agreeing on a joint present that you can shop for together might be an idea. Or, agree not to exchange presents at all ? Sorry can't think of much else, but a really good talk , carefully outlining the things you would appreciate and the things you wouldn't might be a good idea. I like JayJay's list