Santander and the Wedding

Acremead

Don't confuse 'getting married' with 'having a wedding'. You don't actually need special clothes to get married, or flowers or any of the other cr*p that the modern wedding seems to be burdened with. Call me old fashioned (and a cynic to boot) but the financial burden some people are willing to put themselves under to have "that special day" seems obscene to me (And must put a strain on the marriage right from the start?). I know a couple who got into debt for their daughter's wedding- they are still paying it off and their daughter got divorced two years ago. I'm sure this isn't an isolated story.

My wife and I bought a new suit each, had a simple Register Office wedding and invited close friends & family to a lunch-time nosh at the local caff. Not very romantic but the marriage lasted 'until death do us part' 35 years later.

I suppose the question nowadays is- are you going to allow yourself to be railroaded into getting into debt because of peer pressure?

MPH80

This has turned into a bit of a 'how much should you spend on a wedding' discussion. And I understand that - it's a money saving site after all!

However, let's assume that spending £10k on a wedding/honeymoon is going to happen and return to the OP's original question for a minute.

I was thinking of moving my bank account to Santander away from TSB who I've been with all my life and seeing if they will lend me money based on their additonal lending option which works out at 5.5%.

Pay off both my loans with TSB and put a considerable contribution towards the wedding too.

There is still equity in my home, only about £18k but money is money.

The first thing to ask is "will they lend to you" ... well - they are going to look at your commitments and evaluate that. There's a post here: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2667521 where someone explains more about the additional lending option.

The second thing to ask is how much of the equity this will chew up. Let's assume for a moment that house prices fall. Is the house big enough to support you and growing family? If a baby came along would you have to move? What would happen if you fell into negative equity?

I'm going to do a quick thought experiment. Let's assume this extra cash goes on the mortgage over 25 years ... and is at 5.5% ... the total cost of the wedding will actually end up being £18,422.62 according to the mortgage calculator at whatsthecost.co.uk.

So I want to offer some opportunities to reduce the cost of the wedding:

1) Move out of peak season. Hold the wedding in October or March - you'll probably still get nice weather (maybe with a bit of wind/shower) - but it'll probably be fine. The costs for venues can fall by over 50%.

2) Hire a local village hall for the reception and get a buffet style meal in for the breakfast. The costs will fall dramatically if you do this.

(As an aside on this front - I think your current costs for an 80 person wedding breakfast reception in July are *far* too low based on the research I did a while ago)

3) Rather than ask for gifts - ask for contributions to your honeymoon. It needn't be strict money - I paid for my brother/wife to go whale watching on their honeymoon for example.

4) Really - ditch the favours - no one will notice.

5) Negotiate on everything - mention the word 'wedding' in a conversation and prices suddenly go up - so don't say that until you have to and ensure that you drive a bargin on every point.

6) Talk to your local photography society or local adult education centre. There'll be someone there who has some talent (you can check their work) who'll be happy to come along on the cheap and do the photos. They'll want the practice! We paid our chap £250 for him, and his mate, to spend the entire day. They gave us all the photos on disk and we then used Photobox to produce the albums. Total cost: £300.

You're also missing in your spreadsheet (which might come under Misc - but I'd rather think of Misc as contingency):

Transport - assuming you want a fancy car
Insurance

I hope this helps in some way - and I wish you the best.

M.

pinkteapot

We got married in June and spent about £14k on the wedding (original budget £10k - don't put the bride in charge of managing the budget ). I fully understand why you want the big wedding; our day was truly amazing and I wouldn't change any of it. We had the venue, the meal with similar numbers to you, etc.

But, after paying for the wedding, honeymoon, and buying a house last month, we still have more than £40k in the bank.

I was in your financial position 6-7 years ago; slightly less personal debt but no equity in my place. At that stage I wouldn't have dreamed of spending so much on a wedding. Honestly, after the day is over (and it is over really quickly), if you're committed to loan repayments to pay for it for the next X years it'll just feel like a mill-stone. Imagine now if you were making a monthly payment for a party you threw three years ago.

Important point above that if you borrow to pay for the wedding it's actually going to cost you £18k rather than £10k.

Is there no way you can either get married next year on a smaller budget, or wait a few years until you can afford it?

I'm all for big weddings; it's great to celebrate with all your friends and family and have all the luxuries for a day you wouldn't dream of paying for normally. But I just don't think it's worth doing it via debt.

leenukes

I've taken all your information on board. At the moment my remaining mortgage time is about 15 years. I reduced it by 2 years when I re-mortgaged rather then reduce my monthly payments. Made more sense.

I think a buffet is defiantly an option, I do think I'll have to have a long conversation with my Fianc!e about this all and see what we can do and reduce our budget.

She's said she's not bothered about flowers etc so thats a cost saving. And we're not too fussed about a fancy wedding car, hoping to find someone who has a nice one in the family. Can't think of anyone though at the moment.

shellsuit

leenukes wrote: »

I've taken all your information on board. At the moment my remaining mortgage time is about 15 years. I reduced it by 2 years when I re-mortgaged rather then reduce my monthly payments. Made more sense.

I think a buffet is defiantly an option, I do think I'll have to have a long conversation with my Fianc!e about this all and see what we can do and reduce our budget.

She's said she's not bothered about flowers etc so thats a cost saving. And we're not too fussed about a fancy wedding car, hoping to find someone who has a nice one in the family. Can't think of anyone though at the moment.

You and your fiancee should get over to the wedding board, where you'll get loads of advice and ideas on how to cut costs and find companies in the area you're in!

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=142

I'm getting married in just over 3 weeks and the board has been so valuable to me!

MPH80

leenukes wrote: »

I've taken all your information on board. At the moment my remaining mortgage time is about 15 years. I reduced it by 2 years when I re-mortgaged rather then reduce my monthly payments. Made more sense.

Ok - quick rework reveals £10k @ 5.5% over 15 years = £14,707.50

Still ~50% more than the original budget ...

For me - it's all about value for money. If after the wedding you're happy you've spent £15k on it - and it doesn't cause equity problems - then go for it!!

I will add the same caveat as our friend above - my wife and I spent about £12k on our wedding 2 years ago - but it was all out of savings and we had more than that left over.