Personal Statement Help

ultimatedingbat

Hello all,
I was wondering if anyone has time that they can look voer what is draft 1 of my personal statement for a pgce. Not sure if i am on the right lines but i figured lets take a stab at it!

Currently I realise this is too long but it is a first draft!

___________

Thanks all it's sorted!

welshgirl78

ultimatedingbat wrote: »

Hello all,
I was wondering if anyone has time that they can look voer what is draft 1 of my personal statement for a pgce. Not sure if i am on the right lines but i figured lets take a stab at it!

Currently I realise this is too long but it is a first draft!

___________

Working with children is something I have always enjoyed, but never considered as a career due to my journalistic ambitions. When this took a back seat, my desire to help children flourished.
Why did your ambitions take a back seat? Your first statement needs to grab attention as to why you are perfect for the job, not that it is a job that you have fallen into

Since being thirteen I have worked with children and young people. I volunteered for Connexions Youth Service for five years, as I wanted to give something back to my community while helping other young people to progress. For example, one of my roles was as a mentor. Through this I gained valuable communication skills by listening to struggling young people, and giving them democratic advice.
Good

I was inspired to apply for the PGCE after working with children at Hazel Primary School through Right To Read, a programme to help children develip literacy skills. I worked with children with disabilities and children who didn't have English as their first language. While this was a challenge, I found my patient nature helped the children progress and our joint success brought me a lot of pleasure. Through a combination of educational games and paired reading, I kept the children engaged, constantly asking questions to enhance their comprehension skills, especially important for the international students.

While my degree is not teaching related, through Creative Writing and Journalism I have gained valuable skills which are useable in a classroom. Through Journalism, I have gained a key eye for detail, through proof-reading articles and writing to strict word limits. This is essential for the administrative teaching.
Something about why creative writing is relevant?

Also , (this doesn't flow, not also in my opinion!) through bettering my interview skills,(I wouldn't use interview skills to demo this, have you given presentations etc?) I have gained the confidence to give succinct presentations to large groups of people, while utilizing ICT presentation software. This is essential to teaching as for children to see you as an authority figure, you need to appear confident and be able to convey information in effective ways, using technology where appropriate. Also, pupils can learn by example, and emulate your confident and style, until they develop it to their own needs.
Hmm, I wouldn't say appearing as an authority figure is what most PGCE's are looking for, an ability to relate to pupils while ensuring you can create a classroom environment in order to faciltate learning

Through Creative Writing, I have continued to enhance my practical English,this should have been with the other bit, it feels a little disjointed while working to better my own writing. For children, the examples of creative writing could be helpful to inspire them to write during English lessons.

Also, the paragraphs are very short! during Creative Writing classes, we have group feedback sessions. Through this I learnt to be constructively critical, while also offering positive reinforcement to writers to encourage them to develop, something which can be transferred to helping children evolve.

I have had classroom experience two primary schools, where I had to be versatile, adapting my skills to target the correct age group.
At Three Lane Ends Primary School, I worked with year four children, concentrating on scientific experiments. I was intrieged sp by how the combination of a physical demonstartion, verbal instructions and diagrams, aided the children in completly understanding the scientific experiment. This method targetted the three different types of learners within the class, as it engaged all the senses.
How long were you with the classes? If a significant amount of time mention it, even if more than a week consider mentioning it as you could look stupid in interview if you are implying more than it is!

At Hazel Primary, I volunteered as a TA with a year two class. Within this class, I found it interesting that the children were grouped according to ability, aiding the teacher to target resources where they were needed, while ensuring children could work on tasks appropriate for them. While working with the international students, the greatest pleasure was seeing them develop their language skills, writing poetry on white boards with my encouragement.

Despite English being my primary subject, I love music and have a grade five qualification in singing. I could would use this to engage with a whole class, and make learning fun through music. I feel I could also pass these skills on to children, teaching them to sing to increase their confidence, and creating a class unity through group song. I feel this is beneficial as it is something I experienced and enjoyed during primary school.

As a live action role-player (LARP) enthusiast, I can bring enthusiasm and creativity to a classroom. At LARP events, I am required to maintain a persona and act through situations, creating a realistic atmosphere for myself and other players. These skills can be used to make educational activities fun, engaging children in role play scenarios to help them better understand topics such as History.

I also intend to take a St John's Ambulance First Aid course, an important skill in the current health and safety concious climate.
not sure this is needed? (to say, not the qualification!!!)

While I have not always known I wanted to work with children, I have always enjoyed it, there is no need to say this, make it much more enthusiastic and it is for that reason most importantly that I feel I would make a good PGCE candidate.

Sorry, hope this is helpful and not intended to be negative! It looks to me like you are applying for either an English PGCE or primary, I am not sure which, would be helpful to focus your writing to one of these?

I have no knowledge about applying but I know there is a high demand. I have been a maths teacher for 5 years and have had trainees in to mentor (and read their statements!) so hope there is some help here!

If you have any other questions then PM me as I prob won't notice the thread!

Good luck

ultimatedingbat

Heys
Thanks for the advice. have re-written it and it's a lot shorter now anyways!

olibrofiz

I'd offer you a place

Gleeful

You need to check and double-check some of your grammar. It's especially important if you are applying for Primary!

Gleeful

PM me the new version and I'll check it for you.

nimbo

aaaargh get it off the net!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UCAS run it through a thing that checks it against things on websites, and will highlight anything that looks copied.......

I realise that this is you, but the electronic system may not do...

There are different levels of copiedness, so it will highlight titles of books etc in blue, and phrases really similar in orange, and then copied lines etc in red. (for example) admissions tutors who may receive 300 applicants for 300 places could potentially glance and see all the red, and not bother reading on as they could potentially think is was plagiarised.....

Universities do this foe essaies as well, and may have the facilities to do it to statements received directly…….

Also if someone else comes along and thinks oooooh look I’ll flatter them by just rewording that section for me…….

I know I’m a scare monger, but please be careful, if my statement for next year gets rejected I’d be truly gutted.

nimbo

also if you are applying through UCAS you're only allowed to have 47 (ish i can't remember off the top of my head) lines and this is 76.

sorry but the electronic system will cut it off at that point.

The_One_Who

^ That's exactly what I was thinking. Posting your personal statement on a public forum is not a good idea. There are other sites which allow you to post it privately and get advice.

ultimatedingbat

My new statement is extremly different from this. Thanks Gleeful i will mail you it.

Also thanks for advice will delete didn't realise