Wardrobe help - plus size!

sal-ad_daze

Hi everyone,
I'm after some advice (or a severe talking too! lol )
I reached an age milestone this year - half a century:eek:
It was the culmination of a pretty !!!!py year, I suffer from depression and have very little self confidence. I have decided that if I clear my wardrobe (which really does need it) and feel better in my clothes it will boost my confidence and maybe help me feel better.
I am 5'4 and a size 28/30, my dd forced me into a bra fitting at bravissimo recently and that was a shock! However it worked so now I want the rest of me to look as good.
The problem is I can't afford to shop in the high street, my oh is disabled and we live on his pension, dla and my carer's allowance so it's very tight.
My wardrobe is full of 'mistakes' bought from ebay etc. tbh primarily because they were cheap ( I don't go into double figures). Even my outfit for my daughter's wedding came from ebay (although I did go into double figures and it was brand new).
I don't work (being a carer) but I do some voluntary work as a school governor and a member of appeals panels so I have to look smart.
I was thinking of limiting the 'capsule' to black trousers and tops (I don't wear dresses very often, they always seem too long in the body and skirt length) and some brighter jackets but am unsure. It doesn't seem as simple for a large lady as someone 'normal' as some manufacturers don't seem to realise that the cut has to be adapted.
Anyway, Ive rabbited on for long enough, any ideas gratefully received.
Oh, I can't wear 'high' heels or boots cos of my big calves

Bronnie

Hi!

My first suggestion would be to reinforce your idea to clear your wardrobe. Actually physically clear it, take out everything that doesn't fit properly, you dislike or that is old and tatty or worn out.

Ebay what you can to recoup a bit of money, bag up, label and store anything you like and think may fit you in the future and charity shop anything else decent. Send the rest to the recycling!

Now you can really see what yu've got to work with.

Keep an eye on Freecycle or put on a wanted post. I often see posts for people giving away bags of larger size clothes advertised there. It's well worth a punt. Even if you only find one or two pieces you like you can always re-freecycle the rest or take it to the charity shop.

Sure there'll be some more ideas to come1

BlondeHeadOn

I'd echo Bronnie's post, and also say: set aside a whole day (or even longer!) to go through the clothes you plan to keep or are not sure of, and try everything on in different combinations and with differnet accessories. It's amazing how the look of a tired old top can change with the addition of a nice scarf or with a different jeacket or trousers. Spend some time on this, and work out good combinations of outfits. It will also help you to identify the gaps in your wardrobe.

Do you have any friends of a similar size who might be interested in a 'swapping party'? Where you all take clothes you don't wear much or don't like, and swap with each other. You might find something useful here, and it can be great fun as well.

Bronnie

There is a good thread here about plus size fashion.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1988865

There are loads of links in it with ideas you can browse through for inspiration.

Ebay is great for bargains, but it's not a bargain if it doesn't fit! I think it can help if you can find a particular shop/brand where you can try on and know their sizes/cut/ fit/suit you. You can then hunt out their clothes on ebay and buy with a bit more confidence that the clothes will fit well. I do think ebay is a good source. Better quality clothing will undoubtedly make you look more stylish than very cheap clothes bought new.

ali-t

I would second spending some time going through everything and trying on different combinations. Anything that doesn't fit or look good can be sold on ebay and your profits can be used to buy something new!

sharronloves2spend

Bronnie's on the money so to speak. When you are over 30 and not a perfect 10 you need to look at quality over quantity.

Here is what i would do, spend a whole day, pull everything out try each individual item on (don't think of outfits at this stage) if you like it and it feels good on put it into a keep pile. Discard anything that is too small, tatty or just plain unflattering. See what you can ebay, the rest get rid of the same day. Forgive yourself for making mistakes and don't dwell on it.

With the pile you have left, try and create a few choice outfits, try mixing patters and trying things you wouldn't normally put together. Then take a good look in the mirror, does this outfit need a scarf, better pair of shoes, bracelet, cardy etc. If so put it on a wish list.

with any proceeds from ebay selling perhap go and buy a nice pair of trousers ( me, being 5ft 3, size 16, trousers that fit well are hard to come by second hand) you may need to try on 15 pairs to get the right pair. Then at your leisure, check out charity shops, sales, always looking at the quality. Accseories can be easily picked up from primark peacocks etc. Your ideal wardrobe will take time, and will almost certainly evolve over time, but it's really worth it.

You deserve to look and feel great, regardless of age, size, budjet.
HTH
Sharronx

lilac_lady

Pick a colour scheme for yourself and stick to it. I wear black, navy, purple, dark green or jade colours. I add cream items instead of white in the summer. It's easier to shop when you stick to your colours.

My shoe rack holds 9 pairs of shoes so it's one in, one out for them. I have 6 handbags and that applies to them too. Less is best.

sal-ad_daze

Thank you all!
Just the boost I needed. I have a problem with accessories, I never seem to be able to get scarves to look right and I have never 'done' costume jewellery - I only ever really wear a decent pair of stud earings and used to wear a gold pendant chain but not since it broke, it's too weak now; so really have no idea where to start with costume stuff - I suppose it will be fun experimenting in the meantime any suggestions for a 'capsule' collection?

babyshoes

A good tailored everyday jacket can smarten up most outfits. I used to have the perfect blazer style denim jacket which could be very casual with jeans and a T shirt, or smartened up a bit with a black collared shirt, a bright scarf and nice trousers. I was SO upset when I lost it, and still haven't managed to find something comparable to replace it with.

I agree that a few good quality basics are essential, especially a well fitting pair of trousers. I have one pair of 'smart' black trousers for weddings, funerals, interviews etc, and change the look to suit the occasion with nice tops from cheaper shops. It may be worth investing a bit more money in a couple of good pieces rather than spending that same amount on several cheaper items which will either wear out or lose their shape quickly. I like the M&S classic clothes, and I believe they do go quite large though you may need to order online. I am a 20/22 and can usually find my size in store. I seldom shop there though, only for basics that I will wear lots and so can justify spending more on. Someone on here once mentioned the 'cost per wear', which is a good way of looking at clothing purchases.

sharronloves2spend

Capsule collection would include

1 good pair of well fitting black (or navy) trousers
2 pairs of casual trousers ( i get sort of Yoga style trousers from M&s size wise they are good, i buy a 12, i am easy a 16) I would buy them as funds allowed

3 t-shirts in a style that is flattering try plain ones in nice bright colours- these could be worn with all the above trousers

1 well fitting blouse/tunic to be worn with smart trousers or casual

A Longline cardigan that compliments t-shirt colours and blouse and that could be worn with smart trousers or casual trousers (so with all the above outfits)

Then i would add a few chosen accesories, earrings that 'pick out' a colour from a t-shirt, nice string of long pearls or a pretty scarf, all that could be added as and when you come across them.

Two pairs of nice flat shoes, one in black and formal looking, one in a different colour.

A couple of good Handbags, esily picked up second hand, and they always fit

For the time being i would avoid buying from ebay as you can't try it on before you buy.

You have already made the first step in getting good underwear, keep the momentum going and you will feel great in no time at all.

*Sharron wishes she live by you, i could come and physically help you*

HTH Sharron x

Jacks_xxx

:wave: Some really good advice here. :T

I had a big wardrobe clearout a while ago and one of the things I found really helped me was to try everything on and if it was good, decide why it was so great on me and if it was bad, decide what was wrong. Knowing why, and knowing I'd never make the same mistake again helped me to be positive.

I'll list them in case any strike a chord with you. I learned:

*No matter how brave I think I feel when I buy them I am never going to wear brightly coloured trousers. Black, Dark Grey, Dark Brown and Dark Navy - that's it!

*Only wide leg and boot cut trouser shapes suit me.

* I can handle wearing a dress for special occasions, but I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable in a skirt for everyday.

* Fitted and structured clothes such as jackets never fit me properly and never look or feel good - even when I spend the same amount again to get them tailored.

* Fabrics with stretch are the only ones I like. I never reach into the wardrobe for clothes made of rigid fabrics because I find them restrictive, unflattering and uncomfortable.

* I like long sleeves and 3/4 length sleeves, but under a cardi I prefer a short or no sleeve cos the double sleeve thing bugs me!

* Tops shorter than 29 inches are unflattering on me.

* I won't suffer for fashion so high heels are out no matter how pretty they look, I'll never actually wear them anywhere.

* Nothing from Evans ever fits me properly.

Your list will be different of course, but I really recommend doing one. I have a couple of other tips for you:

* £30 spent on one top that works is better than £30 spent on 4 tops that don't - so don't be afraid to ask eBay sellers questions about measurements and fabric etc.

* Ann Harvey have really good sales! Single figure and low double figure prices - and you can send back what doesn't work. A few months ago I got a bunch of £9 and £15 tops that I have lived in Plus some great lightweight wide leg trousers. (They were £20 but I've worn and loved them so many times that they were totally worth it.)

http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Navigate?ps=&storeId=10001&catalogId=10001&x=0&y=0&txt=ann+harvey

http://www.annharveyfashion.co.uk/Sale?paging=0&fSort1=Price&fCategory=

This site is worth a look too:

http://www.crazyclearance.co.uk/shop/nav/show.action?LpgUid=11152698

Do come back and post about what's left after your sort out and what kind of thing you're looking for to fill your gaps, and we'll all look around for you :j

If you can ever get to a Primark they're great for a long length string of beads or bag at bargain basement prices.