advice for a friend csa or private

ash4becks

i have a lovely mate that i think is being stung something rotton by his golddigger controlling ex (sorry i have my reasons i really hate her so if i talk ill of her you no why)

he has a 2 year old with her has now had to move back home and sold house he bought because of her spending habits, he is earning about £22-24k a year and is giving her £300 a month for his daughter, plus what she often demands as extras :mad: he doesnt see much as he would like and refuses to leave him and daughter alone (no reason for this) her using daughter as a wepon sadly this is despite trying to get legal advice and she refusing to reply to and legal letters sent to her, she doesnt work and gets everything payed for rent etc ,

he really loves her dearly and its geting him very down also finacally its crippling him things have changed lately aswell

he has a new daughter that is 2 months old to a different lass who is being fine over him seeing new baby he is paying £250 to 300 a month for her but doesnt live with her

do you think this is a resonable amount to pay for the children and would he be better of going though the csa so he could show payment for the 1st child so he has more of a legal standing

Bloomin_Freezing2

Wow, his earnings are not super huge, he's paying out far too much in my eyes. If he wants to pay 2x £300 a month, and can live on whats left over then fair enough good on him. I think though if he went through the csa he'd pay less. If i'm remembering this correctly his monthly csa payment would be (for the 1st child) something like this...whether he is paid weekly or monthly it is the take home pay that they look at (so after tax deductions). They would take 15% of his take home as the first payment, not sure what they would take for the second, i'm sure someone could answer that. I could be slightly wrong as we have 2 kids so they are taken into account with our payments. Ours works like this (for a bit of an idea) Take home money minus 20% (15% for our 1st child, and extra 5% for our 2nd) equals x amount. Take x amount and minus 15% of that, said 15% then becomes the monthly payment. I would def advise he goes the csa route, as rubbish as they can be at least he has something official set up and can't be taken the p*** out of by ex partners.

ash4becks

Bloomin_Freezing2 wrote: »

Wow, his earnings are not super huge, he's paying out far too much in my eyes. If he wants to pay 2x £300 a month, and can live on whats left over then fair enough good on him. I think though if he went through the csa he'd pay less. If i'm remembering this correctly his monthly csa payment would be (for the 1st child) something like this...whether he is paid weekly or monthly it is the take home pay that they look at (so after tax deductions). They would take 15% of his take home as the first payment, not sure what they would take for the second, i'm sure someone could answer that. I could be slightly wrong as we have 2 kids so they are taken into account with our payments. Ours works like this (for a bit of an idea) Take home money minus 20% (15% for our 1st child, and extra 5% for our 2nd) equals x amount. Take x amount and minus 15% of that, said 15% then becomes the monthly payment. I would def advise he goes the csa route, as rubbish as they can be at least he has something official set up and can't be taken the p*** out of by ex partners.

i have said to hinm he is fighting a losing battle with the ex i no from my friend she was geting nealry 500 pound a month for her and baby plus this extra shes going to far in my eyes but really he is 28 living at home but wants to have his own place etc so he can have his own life and for kids to stay over on his own but i really think shes taken that away from him because shes taking him to the cleaners , to make matters worse if he sees the baby shes said he cant see the 2 year old shes mad as a hatter

DX2

He needs to apply to the CSA for both kids, he will then pay 20% from his wages for both kids each getting 10%.

Remember child support has nothing whatsoever to do with contact they are seperate issues, he needs to seek legal advice regarding this.

ash4becks

DX2 wrote: »

He needs to apply to the CSA for both kids, he will then pay 20% from his wages for both kids each getting 10%.

Remember child support has nothing whatsoever to do with contact they are seperate issues, he needs to seek legal advice regarding this.

dont no if anyone does no anything legally he can do to see her

Bloomin_Freezing2

does he know if he is on either birth certificates as the father? If he is he has equal parental responsibility and request access via the courts. I know legal fees are expensive but he must try. I'm sure he can get free legal advise to some level. If he is not on the birth certificate and she's still demanding money i'd get him to request a dna test before he pays anymore. He is paying too much though so please get him to calculate 20% and divide it between the two women. Let the b*tch complain, it's all she'll get through the csa anyway and that'll take ages to be processed. She can't play god with her child, as much as she's doing her best to at the moment. I really hope this bites her on the bum! I hate women who are happy to take the money but play games with access, it's not ot.

ash4becks

Bloomin_Freezing2 wrote: »

does he know if he is on either birth certificates as the father? If he is he has equal parental responsibility and request access via the courts. I know legal fees are expensive but he must try. I'm sure he can get free legal advise to some level. If he is not on the birth certificate and she's still demanding money i'd get him to request a dna test before he pays anymore. He is paying too much though so please get him to calculate 20% and divide it between the two women. Let the b*tch complain, it's all she'll get through the csa anyway and that'll take ages to be processed. She can't play god with her child, as much as she's doing her best to at the moment. I really hope this bites her on the bum! I hate women who are happy to take the money but play games with access, it's not ot.

the baby yes but that is questionable still, and 2year olds not sure over but she did cheat on him magic month later shes preg , may i add he had just bought the house then she finds that out word trapped comes into this grrr , trying to work figures out basicly about 40 a week between two of them is that right maths not my strong point

gratefulforhelp_2

He can go through the csa and use money saved on legal fees to get contact sorted properly. However, am I right in thinking that the second baby doesn't live with him either?

Perhaps he needs to consider contraception more carefully in future, I have a friend in a happy loving marriage who can't afford a child with his wife because of not being careful in fairly tenuous relationships.

ash4becks

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

He can go through the csa and use money saved on legal fees to get contact sorted properly. However, am I right in thinking that the second baby doesn't live with him either?

Perhaps he needs to consider contraception more carefully in future, I have a friend in a happy loving marriage who can't afford a child with his wife because of not being careful in fairly tenuous relationships.

i have had words with him over the condom issue belive me and its not happening with me thats for sure, he wants to get the snip to his credit he does stay over and help with the youngest few nights a week but relationship just didnt work out she didnt want not have baby as she is 31 and clock ticking he didnt want another baby thou

DX2

Bloomin_Freezing2 wrote: »

does he know if he is on either birth certificates as the father? If he is he has equal parental responsibility and request access via the courts. I know legal fees are expensive but he must try. I'm sure he can get free legal advise to some level. If he is not on the birth certificate and she's still demanding money i'd get him to request a dna test before he pays anymore. He is paying too much though so please get him to calculate 20% and divide it between the two women. Let the b*tch complain, it's all she'll get through the csa anyway and that'll take ages to be processed. She can't play god with her child, as much as she's doing her best to at the moment. I really hope this bites her on the bum! I hate women who are happy to take the money but play games with access, it's not ot.

The birth certificate to a degree has no bearing whatsoever on child support, yes he can request a DNA at cost to him. Personally it sounds like t!t for tat.

ash4becks

DX2 wrote: »

The birth certificate to a degree has no bearing whatsoever on child support, yes he can request a DNA at cost to him. Personally it sounds like t!t for tat.

in honesty i dont no if she would give consent i no what she like