Want kids, but oh is stuck in a rut

cambist

Getting old, want kids but OH already has kids. She has said for the past eight years that she wants chidren. She already has children and said that there father will have custody of her previous.

Dont get me wrong, there father has been fighting for custody for years now, but she's not gonna give in, even though he's in a position to look after them.

Eight years later i want a family of my own, dont mind her kids but the house is big enough for two and a small one.

Am i in a rut for staying, or should i wait another 8 yrs or so and maybe it will happen.

Please dont have ago, im just looking for advise.

lynzpower

I dont understand what you mean

You have children living with you that might be going to live with thier dad? Or that you want to have children and the previous ones be shipped off to dad?

In getting the sense here that she has kids that her ex wants custody of, she wants to keep them living with you, but you would rather have them go live with thier dad so you can have your own children between you. However, mum wants to keep them living with you both? And that the house is cramped with her kids, but not presumably with yours?

how old are the children, what are thier views on this plan?

I expect that any child regardless of age will experience significant upheaval and probably long term attachment issues, if what Ive read into this is correct. You say you "dont mind" her kids, presumably you have had 8 years to get to know them? Seems a rather frivolous way to discuss children if you ask me.

But I could be being out of order here or got the wrong end of the stick I guess?

Scarlett1

cambist wrote:

Eight years later i want a family of my own, dont mind her kids but the house is big enough for two and a small one.

so why havnt you bought a house to accomodate your girlfriend and her children if the house is crowded, im sorry but you dont just get rid of kids cause they get in the way :mad:

You poor girlfriend, she has her ex fighting her for custody, and instead of getting support from you, she is being put on a countdown for you to ship her kids out so you can have one of your own.

Goodness gracious someone tell me this is a wind up

modgit

cambist wrote:

Eight years later i want a family of my own, dont mind her kids but the house is big enough for two and a small one.

.

I read this differently, I understood it as the house is big enough for her 2 kids, plus their small one.
If this is the case, are you saying that your GF is reluctant to have a baby as the arrival of it may push custody of her previous 2 to their father?

Maybe i've got the wrong end of the stick here!
Perhaps you should explain more

plane_boy2000

You cant just wait another 8 years to see what happens. She may still not want more children and then you could end up bitter and dissapointed. Have you told her how much it would meen to have a child with her?

elljay20

modgit wrote:

I read this differently, I understood it as the house is big enough for her 2 kids, plus their small one.
If this is the case, are you saying that your GF is reluctant to have a baby as the arrival of it may push custody of her previous 2 to their father?

Maybe i've got the wrong end of the stick here!
Perhaps you should explain more

That's the impression i got too.

Scarlett1

modgit wrote:

I read this differently, I understood it as the house is big enough for her 2 kids, plus their small one.

not sure, I read it as 2 (as in adults) and a small one

lynzpower

Scarlett1 wrote:

not sure, I read it as 2 (as in adults) and a small one

me too! OP are you about?