Loan to a friend

ttoli

Hi
Anybody out there can offer some advice?

A friend that i've known 15 years has got himself into serious debt (200k+),
following an inheritence i lent him money and i suppose feeling sorry for him let him off re-paying (2k), needless to say 6 months ago i lent him some more on the understanding that once he'd sold his house, i'd be repayed, the house sold 6 wks ago,he says that he's paying his creditors but his latest e-mail states 'That i'm the least of his worries'.Sounds wet i know, but our friendship means alot to me, how best should i put my point over?

Thanks

Pobby

Oh dear.Done it myself

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lent money to friends and guess what,you are the last creditor they pay back.

Bluelad_2

You say how much your friendship means to you, but you must consider how much it means to your friend. IMO I'd want to pay a friend back well before a creditor.

I read a recent post on this site which said

'If you lend a friend £20 and never seethem again, it's £20 well spent'

I thought that was really good and exactly what happened to me a long time ago.

funky-footprints

i say you can prob can say good bye to your money and also to your friend !!

thats advise from someone whose husband lent thier apparant best mate (my husband was his best man !!! ) of 15 years, 12k, 6 years ago !!! if he values your friendship he would of paid you back first, no matter how deep into debt he had got !! £20 a week is better than nothing !!

why leave it to emails ..i found the only way we got pathetic offers of cash were when I knocked on his door and spoke face to face !!! we have since had no choice but to knock the debt and the friendship on the head .. have had no money or contact since January. it was creating too much stress !! (I think on my part thier ski-ing holidays didnt go down to well !!)

freebie_junkie

my old nana (great grandma) used to say to me 'never leand nor borrow be' and i always follow that. i simply do not lean money, nor do i ever ask to borrow it. its sad that people take advantage of others when it comes to money but soemtimes they do. have you actually met up with and chatted to your mate face to face? maybe you could set up a payment plan, £100 a month or whatever? anything back is better than nothing. good luck.

ariba10

The quickest way to lose a friend and your money is to lend the second to the first.

I feel sorry for you.

janeawej

mum always said 'never lend more than you can afford to lose' it has stood my in good stead for years

Nicki

A friend and I have both had similar problems with different results. I've lent my brother approximately £10,000 over the years for a number of urgent problems (tax demand and car repairs) and despite promises at the time he's never repaid a penny nor has he ever mentioned the loan again. At the time I made the loans, my husband and I privately agreed that we would not give the loan unless we would be Ok about it if it wasn't repaid and that it would not be worth losing a family relationship over. Having said that my brother and I are barely now in touch, because he lives in another country and is rubbish about returning phone calls or keeping in touch.

My friend lent her then very serious boyfriend a similar sum and when he didn't pay up when she thought he should, she sued him for the money, and got an attachment of earnings order against his salary. She got her money back but the relationship never recovered.

My experience is that once money is lent, the relationship is probably shot already, and the only thing therefore remaining is whether you enforce repayment or not, on the basis of how much the relationship once meant to you. Only you can decide this. Good luck

mikey-mike_2

excellent post nicki

shellyjane

I have to disagree with a lot of the posts here.

My best friend (who I have known since uni) and I always lent each other money in the past and always paid each other back. However it did not damage our relationship and if anything made it stronger as we always knew we had each other in time of need. I think true mates know when not to take the p*ss!

Maybe I was just lucky and had a great mate!

Counting_Pennies_2

I would question what you get out of the friendship