What on earth to wear?

Eliza_2

I have no idea what to wear, everything just looks the same to me. My granddaughter prodded me today and asked why I always wear the same thing? I don't but can see what she means, I almost always wear jeans/cords, a t-shirt/top and longline cardy or longline shirt depending on the weather.

I'm 59 and size18 but on my way down to 16. I've spent some time looking at the what not to wear and similar websites, but never think that the Gok or the Trinny and Suzanna programmes make people look nicer, I can never understand their families enthusiasm after the makeover when I think they look awful.

I don't need smart workwear or formal evening wear, just casual, sometimes a bit smart casual - and comfortable, I don't want to have to think about what I'm wearing during the day, I have a hectic enough time as it is. I like the look of crisp cotton shirts etc, but the women that wear them don't sit in a car for 20 mins going to work. I panic if I haven't got an iron on holiday or when visiting overnight as everything gets creased so easily along the folds of all my spare tyres/upper arms etc. as soon as I wear them. I look a scruffy awful mess. So what fabrics are good? I once bought a linen top, it looked lovely when I first put it on, I saw myself in a mirror when I was out wearing it, and it looked horrendous. So creased, it went straight to the charity shop.

Can anyone point me in the direction of either a role model, or a good catalogue/website that will show me how to put things together? To me, the choice is trousers and top, skirt and top, or dress. What else is there? Hopefully someone can show me alternatives. I have a wardrobe full of stuff that looked nice on a hanger or on a website but messy on me.

Please help me face my granddaughter again, any advice would be so desperately gratefully received.

Liz

Aesop

Awww, I hope someone comes along soon and can offer you some advice.

One thing I know, I do like the clothes at M&S, even one or two quality pieces combined with items from places like BhS, etc.

I have bought 2 jersey type tops, v necks from M&S in 2 different colours, they wash well, wear well and don't get awful creases in the wrong places.

I am not sure if M&S offer a Shopper who talks to you about your likes and dislikes, then goes and picks out items that would suit you and are to your taste and likes. Someone like that would be good.

oh and I try to buy from M&S in the sales if I can!

newleaf

Ask your granddaughter to suggest some things she thinks you would look nice in. Maybe look through some magazines together, or go shopping with her and get her to pick something out that you could try on and see what you think? Sometimes we hold ourselves back through lack of confidence, and it takes someone with a different perspective to encourage us to change.

Eliza_2

Thanks for the ideas, so quick! Not sure about my granddaughter, she's only just 6, she would probably choose bright pink sparkly leggings and bright pink sparkly strapless top.(With my boobs??!) However, going through some mags might be an idea, thanks. No idea which ones but will do some research.

Need to have a better look in M and S, I've got some vouchers, was saving them for food but maybe should look at the clothes a bit more. I've bought on-line (and that was a total disaster!!!) from them before as the shop near me is only small.

I think really I need to put a bit more effort into it. (Boring - but feel so sad that that's how she sees me so worth it, hopefully)

Thanks again

jcr16

ok well instead of thinking of changing your clothes what about adding assories. ie a little neck scarf, or a nice chunky necklace, bangles, bracelets. i often wear say a demin skirt and black top, but i can change the whole outfit by wearing purple chunky jewellery , one day and another time i might wear a turquoise scarf and a turquoise bangle.

There not huge changes, but if your comfy in your style of clothes, but what to just make it different then assories really work.

jenibob

hi, i would definately suggest looking at fiftyplus.co.uk. my mum who is 58 gets alot of her clothes from there. the cuts and styles are made especially for the over 50's but the clothes are still trendy and up to date.

Aesop

Can you go to a larger M&S? Especially right now with the sale on, you would get more for your money. It might be worth asking one of the sales staff, if they could help you pick out one or two items that could be classed as interchangeable with other items, so you are not spending lots of money.

Maybe go for accessories too, a pretty scarf can make all the difference to a plain shirt or a nice necklace.

umm for magazines, have a look at Bella, Best, Woman, Woman's own.

found this online

http://www.yours.co.uk/Health--Beauty/Search-Results/Fashion/Search-Results/Figure-fixers/New-Look-For-My-New-Life/

what about your daughter/daughter in law? Does she look smart, wear different outifts? Ask her if she would come window shopping with you, to give you some ideas.

This is what I was talking about, couldn't remember the word! Personal Shopper

http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?storeId=10001&catalogId=10001&langId=-1&userType=G&categoryId=65591

there is no obligation to buy and sometimes the items at Debenhams can be a little expensive!

But as there is no obligation to buy, you could book an appointment with a personal shopper and they could show you some styles that would suit you and make you look different to the way your granddaughter sees you now. Then you could go and source similar outfits cheaper at other retail stores.

Depending where you live, Peacocks, Matalan and TKMAxx are good for clothes and good on prices.

newleaf

Eliza wrote: »

Not sure about my granddaughter, she's only just 6, she would probably choose bright pink sparkly leggings and bright pink sparkly strapless top.

Ah, yes, I take your point! Do you have a daughter or daughter in law, or friends who would give you an honest opinion?

cattkitt

My artist friend advised me that older skin looks better with natural fibres. Teenyboppers with transluscent skin get away with harsh polyester or anything thrown at it!

belfastgirl23

really really feeling your pain just trying to figure out some of this stuff myself. My conclusions to date have been to try to spend more time (and money alas) on makeup. I'm also making more of an effort with my hair figuring that surely practice will make perfect if I keep trying. I'd also love to take a blowdry lesson if I can - hoping to do this next time I'm in London for a bit.

The other thing I'd say is that alas - gulp - and I'm just coming to terms with this myself - heels make a difference. I'm definitely a comfy shoes type of gal but wondering if I might have to give in on this a bit.

I'd also say, having recently had to purchase clothes for a wedding, it's worth trying to push yourself out of your comfort zone and try on loads of different things. The outfit that suited me in the end was one that I never would have picked out had I not been desperate. And it was only having tried on loads of other things that made me so desperate. So do spend time thinking about it.

I must say though that in no way do I have this cracked. I'm trying to work up the nerve to wear a skirt to work so probably a bit behind you...

Good luck!

jenniewb

I have similar issues: I used to be very thin, and though I am at pains to admit it, as a result of my too-thinness and being young and at art school, I can and did get away with everything, getting compliments and being stopped for photos along the way (my only claim to fame!) but now I am older and alot heavier, I don't feel I look good in anything. Black feels easy and seems to be the bulk of my wearable wardrobe (I have two wardrobes, stuff I buy because at the time I think I will wear it/think it looks beautiful/etc and the rest of the wardrobe: black black and black). Its hard as I now feel nothing looks good.

But! about a year ago, I won vouchers (£50!) for a high street store and it was to be spent following the stylist advice (the reason for the voucher competition). I learned alot from this- she presented clothes I'd have never even thought about. Not like a Trinny & Susanna at all, very nice and there was no pressure at all to buy, infact I only bought one thing at the time (I went back for the rest at later dates as I was so amazed at the new ideas). I'd really recommend visiting a stylist- or even a few of them. Most are free and there is no pressure to buy, stores seem to know this will only get them bad rep so don't seem to pressure but it can be hard not to buy when you have seen something that works so well.

I'd also recommend looking into accessories to complement an outfit. A great necklace can update a very basic outfit and can be a blessing if you've very little cash to spend. However, the key is to have one item louder then the rest. If you have everything bright and glistening it can look ott and unflattering, it works when your 11-18 (as I found!!) but once your over 25 it risks looking try-to-hard and doesn't work in the same way. However, never say never, there are usually always exeptions to any rule and if your a fashion designer or fashionista you can normally pass most stuff off (Think: lady gaga!)

But my new thing now is trying to find the one part of my body I can live with and then showing it off. I can deal with my bust, (in truth, its the only thing I feel doesn't matter not being skinny on me!) I have been wearing baggy/slim fitting everything else but keeping my tops fairly low cut and wearing necklaces. It draws attention to my neck and hopefully away from anywhere else. If you feel really proud of your waist or your legs for example, aim to highlight these areas with either colour or the cut of your clothing.

And lastly, shop around! Not all highstreet clothes fit the same. One example is Warehouse which always is too short for me, Gap which seems to think my thighs need to be larger but that my calves are too large and Topshop which refuses to realise I have curves! Keep going back every now and then though as stores will change fittings and often new designs from different manufacturers will fit differently.