Friends Betrayal

carolpinkdreamer

I can understand you feeling uneasy but I'd turn a blind eye and not mention it to anyone. Although we all like to think that friend's younger sisters are pure and innocent, it is often not the case.
I'd try and put it out of your mind.

sassyblue

mspig wrote: »

What may be your unwritten rule isn't everyone elses.
Butt out of other peoples lives, people need to live their own lives without interference from other people and make their own mistakes in life.

You do sound very childish for a 20 year old for even thinking you need to tell people.

Whilst l wouldn't have put it as blunt as that :rotfl: this poster is right.

These two were consenting adults, they obviously like each other and maybe it wasn't the first time they've had sex together? There was no betrayal - neither of them need to ask everyone if it's okay to have sex with each other! And no need to 'divide' anyone by telling on them or even mentioning you know if it comes to light. Real friends support each other not go about causing potential trouble.

Just enjoy knowing the 'gossip'

msmyth18

Well thank you for all your opinions. I suppose my worry was that should this come out what would he think of myself once he knows that I've known for ages. I don't want to be seen as a untrustworthy person, I doubt very much that he would see that we didn't tell as it's in his best interests not knowing

mountainofdebt

msmyth18 wrote: »

Well thank you for all your opinions. I suppose my worry was that should this come out what would he think of myself once he knows that I've known for ages. I don't want to be seen as a untrustworthy person, I doubt very much that he would see that we didn't tell as it's in his best interests not knowing

But the point is it's none of his business either.

Whilst he may want to make sure his little sister isn't being taken advantage of, it is just as likely (these days) that the sister is not the sweet little girl he wants to think her as.

Bitsy_Beans

msmyth18 wrote: »

She is 16.

The reason why I count it as a betrayal is the lad involved is supposed to be one of his best mates. I see it as almost an unwritten rule that you do not do things like that with a mates sister ( unless you speak to them first )
This was very clearly nothing to do with him genuinely liking her.

I believe it would cause trouble because firstly he himself probably would feel betrayed by his friend, and also his relationship with his sister would probably be affected.

Now that just smacks of acting like little sisters are chattel which brothers decide who they can date/sleep with.
Sorry but her sex life and your mates sex life is none of your business. I am assuming she was a willing participant, she's of the age of consent so really what's the big deal? I just don't see where there was a betrayal..........

LilacPixie

I don't see an issue, 2 people decided to have sex after a BBQ, happens all over the country on a daily basis and No you do not need to 'tell' anyone.

Harrowing_2

LilacPixie wrote: »

I don't see an issue, 2 people decided to have sex after a BBQ, happens all over the country on a daily basis and No you do not need to 'tell' anyone.

All those sausages - it's bound to get you in the mood.:D

BitterAndTwisted

msmyth18 wrote: »

I suppose my worry was that should this come out what would he think of myself once he knows that I've known for ages.

He will realise that you're not a gossip and don't interfere in other people's private business.

I don't want to be seen as a untrustworthy person, I doubt very much that he would see that we didn't tell as it's in his best interests not knowing.

Not disclosing other people's private business is the sign of someone who understands the meaning of the words "discretion" and "privacy". To most people these are very positive attributes.

You have no obligation to consider anyone else's feelings other than the couple concerned. Interfere at your peril! The bringer of bad or unwelcome news is nearly always blamed in some way, especially meddlers.

Poly,put_the_kettle_on

I think that if this is the biggest scandal you've encountered so far, you've led a blissfully sheltered life. Life will get more scandalous. You'll find yourself in situations where you know things you really, really wish you didn't. There will be real moral dilemmas and challenges to face. This is nothing compared to what's to come. The best advice I can give is to always take a step back & consider a situation. Never let a knee jerk reaction win out. And don't cremate the sausages.