O/T - HOw much would you give as a present for cousin's wedding?

karamunroe

Hi! I was at a wedding 3 weeks ago and I gave some personalised champagne flutes! They went down a storm! Maybe you could give a gift which looks more expensive, rather than money? Something personal is always a winner at a wedding. My cousin works for a gift company (Personalised Gift Ideas) and has lovely wedding keepsake boxes - I think they do 'bride and groom' memory boxes, which you can personalise with names etc. Or there are lots of gift sites like NotontheHighStreet. Hope you get something :-)

sweetilemon

General rule for me is £50 for a full day wedding and £20-30 for evening between my partner and I. Maybe you could ask if they have a wedding list? I spend more if they have paid for our hotel room or less if i'm skint! I think it all depends but as someone said before a gift can look really good for low cost. Handmade cards are a thoughtful touch for little expence.

Debtfreein2011

Thanks all! I think we're going to give either £30 or £40... To be decided this weekend. Both are more than we have (which is nothing!!) but I think they are and ok amount to give. We definitely can't afford any more. DF says £40 but I'm trying to barter him down to £30!

Can't get a gift as I've left it too late (weddign on Monday!) - didn't even think of that as they asked for vouchers/money so just always thought that's what I would do. Will definitely bear in mind the suggestions for future weddings though!

Thanks again all

hayleythedaisy

I would say £30, less if you can't afford it. At our wedding on of our parents could only afford £50 and I think it wasa bit embarressing for them when others had given us £50 - £70 who were "normal" guests.

freyalucy

hello

The decent thing to do is to is cover your presence in being there (meal and champagne reception etc - usually £50) and if you want to give extra money as a gift, then it's up to you.

pavlovs_dog

freyalucy wrote: »

hello

The decent thing to do is to is cover your presence in being there (meal and champagne reception etc - usually £50) and if you want to give extra money as a gift, then it's up to you.

i don't agree with this at all.

we went to OH's cousin's wedding a few weeks ago. it was a gorgeous wedding from start to finish and although it wasn't outwardly ostentatious, money was no object.

we get on well with OH's cousin but aren't particularly close; we only ever see her and hubby at christmas. we were however happy to share their special day with them and our family.

had we been required to effectively 'buy' our right to attend the wedding through giving them a gift that would cover the cost of our presence then they would have had virtually no one from our side of the family present. we simply do not have access to that kind of money. the wedding breakfast was quite simply one of the nicest meals i have ever eaten in my life, but covering the cost of mine and OH's meal and drinks would have cost us more than what we pay for groceries in a month. we simply cannot afford that kind of indulgence. (even on our poshest most indulgent 'to hell with the cost' celebrations we have never come close to spending on a day out what the bride and groom chose to spend per head on their guests).

does it make it indecent of us to attend, knowing that our gift to them (a small amount of cash so that they can enjoy a drink on us during their honeymoon) cost us less than the bottle of table wine at the wedding breakfast cost them?

i know that when we come to get married, gifts received will be a welcome bonus, not a way to recoup the cost of the type of wedding that we choose to have.

VK-2008

its personal choice as too what you can afford at my wedding now i have several cousins
adult wise some never gave anything others gave 10, 20, 40, 50, 60, 80, 100 and others gave vouchwers others gave alcohol
it really up too you

i went to one of my cousins weddings yesterday as evening guest and i gave a towel cake with bottle of wine and choccies inside, but tbh i am skint so wanted to get them something that looked nice