help required - fed up hamster in wheel

Butterfly

Hi young-and-free...yes it is frustrating and we are all in / have been in the same boat. We're not taught personal finance in school and if we're not taught by wise parents then we learn by our mistakes. And then find ourselves on this forum! For whatever reason you are learning from your mistakes but it is a valuable journey you're going through nevertheless. Once you learn to manage your finances (and you will) then you will live a much more conscious life and feel grateful for the lessons you've learned. Honest! Not sure if you'll believe this being a fella and you may not be into astrology....but when we turn 28 yrs old we go through something called the Saturn Return. It's a time when we assess our lives and sort out things that need fixing. It can be quite harrowing (mine was!) and can take a few years but it turns you inside out and makes you stronger and more well-rounded person in the long run. So what you're going through is normal. Me and my mates have all been through it. Anyway apart from that, you really remind me of my brother wanting to live the dream but getting yourself in to a pickle in the process. All you've done is blindly follow standards that society has set up - good education, good job, good salary, promotion, nice place to live, nice car. Classic status symbols. But it all comes with a price and you can't even enjoy these 'nice' things because you're anxious and nervous about how much it's all costing you. Now's the time to think independently and question everything. Which is what Martin does which is why he set up this website. I recommend a book by Robert Kiyosaki called Rich Dad Poor Dad if you haven't read it already. And sorry to say but your car is not an asset as it will always depreciate in value and it costs you money, it's not putting money in your pocket. You're fortunate you have a great salary. You're also fortunate as you rent, buying properties is also abit overrated. Maybe have a think about why you want the nice car, the nice job etc. Maybe you attach your identity to these material things, but the truth is they are not a reflection of who you really are, they are just things. You would be the same nice person with a beat up Peugeot. Good luck with your journey though, you're in the right place! x

maidofrohan

Well done for getting your LBM. It's such a great feeling when you know your SOA and have a plan on how to sort your debts. I just turned 30 last month and got my LBM in Jan 08. Currently have £220 left to pay (last payment date is 10th Sept this year) and I still can't believe that I'm nearly done.

Have you had a look at cooking stuff from scratch? Cook stuff in batches and freeze the food into portions. You'd be amazed at how much you can make with minimal expense. When I had my flat (gave it up last Sept to move bk to my folks place and blitz remainder of debt and get a load of dollar saved), I used to batch cook soups, curries, stews etc, then freeze them into 1/2 person portions. It was like having an instant take out, and a lot faster/cheaper!

Could you have DVD nights in with mates? Or gaming nights (if you're into that!)? My mates and I tend to do stuff like that, or bring a bottle/few tinnies evenings, rather than go out on the town.

For clothing....if you need a change/something new for your wardrobe, check out thrift shops/charity shops. I just got myself a great pair of Fat Face utility trousers (brand new with tags still on) for £5, and a White Stuff top for £1.50. Oh, and back in April, I bought myself a Biasia handbag for £2!!

Def downsize your car - I'm using my parent's old V-reg, 1.0L Micra for the moment. I give my folks £100 a month to cover the cost of running/maintaining/taxing/insuring the car. It's not flashy or fast, but it gets me from A to B and is economical to run. I'd like to go for slightly nippier diesel (but has to be on a low tax band!!), when I've got a decent amount saved....and def not a brand new car!

Also, have you looked at cashback sites like quidco? Great for online purchases, and places like Tesco's where you can get Clubcard points.

wishing you all the best! You can def do this. You'll see, before you know it, you'll have no debt and a massive amount saved!

debtfreegonnabe_2

Good Morning Y and F, little test for you, if ive missed you before work, you can always do it tomorrow or tonight, While your out and about at work or with friends. When your about to spend think "do I need this or just want this ? or doing it to look good" think of your debt and how much you could pay off it. You may decide to go ahead anyway but at least you will have thought about it.

Would be nice if you could post at least one saving tonight. :j

Have a good day

DFGB

1stTimer

Hey Young and Free,
I'm more of a browser on here and don't normally post, but this is exactly where i am at the moment, I'm 27 and on a ok wage, been thinking for a while now about how much money i waste every month
so just wanted to say good luck and will be keeping an eye on this

MrC1977

hi young and free- good read this forum page.

I am in the same boat - although financially worse off. Lived the material dream, gambled thousands - end result loads of debt etc.

I am struggling to adapt to living life on a budget. Started a DMP so no choice. However simple small changes make a lot of difference. When i save money where i would normally spent - e.g. a night out costing £10 as opposed to £50 i now take pleasure as i realise that is £40 less debt that i would have got into.

Keep a spending diary and value everything your purchase e.g. if you spend £5 on lunch from M & S are you any better off than a sarnie/salad bought from home for a fraction of the price. Chances are most of the time your are not as all it does is serve a purpose of providing you with food. Things like saving £3 a day on lunches soon mount up.

Sacrifice on the things that are not important and enjoy the things that you want to if you can justify/afford them.

Also. It took me until i was 33 to realise that real people dont judge on material things car, clothes, lifestyle. they just judge you as a person.

Good luck

maidofrohan

Remember that if anyone does judge you by the car you drive or the clothes you wear, then sod 'em. The people/friends who matter are the ones who will respect you for realising that you can't keep on with the champagne lifestyle and taking steps to sort things out. Also, you'd be surprised just how many folk around you are in debt too. I was shocked!!

Oh, another thing I thought of.....how about saving change (that's under £1) in a jar - end of each day/week, stick the coins in a savings jar. Then at the end of each month, stick it in a savings account. It will soon accumulate

young-and-free

wow thanks for the responses and encouragement, this is really a great web site.

Got a couple of updates from todays activities. Didnt get a lot of sleep last night thinking over what to do but here gos:

I took a half day today and have managed to achieve a couple of things. I had a good chat with mum and when she heard i shopped in M&S all the time she tore a strip right off me! she is taking me shopping at the weekend and thinks she can cut out a big chunk of shopping costs. looked at receipts and statements and i am in there almost every day.

I also phoned sky at downgraded the tv saving me £30 per month which is great.

I also took a watch to a jewellers today and he will give me £900 for it which is less than half the purchase price but still ok for a 4 year old watch that cost £250 to service last year - what was i thinking? ist the same as a car to service?

I have such a lot of clothes and thats my next target to go through and see what i can sell. i have never done the whole ebay thing and would be a bit annoyed at selling a gucci tie for a pound - any suggestions for any specialist designer clothes buyers/second hand places?

DFGB - I also took a water from the machines at work this morning instead of coffee/crisps/coke so saved £1 from a conscious decision. hope that meets your approval:D

cant believe how good it feels to just have turned this corner. to get support on here from strangers is amazing.

will keep you posted on other savings i make.

natsplatnat

young-and-free wrote: »

I have such a lot of clothes and thats my next target to go through and see what i can sell. i have never done the whole ebay thing and would be a bit annoyed at selling a gucci tie for a pound - any suggestions for any specialist designer clothes buyers/second hand places?

Hi!

Just a thought on your comment above......

If its something you haven't worn for a year, the chances are that you won't wear it again. It's dead money sat in your wardrobe!!! You could sell it on ebay, let someone else enjoy owning it and generate some cash. You could even set yourself a challenge to fund any new clothes purhases with your ebay funds!!

Good luck on your DF quest! Nats :beer:

Watalie

Nats is right - a few quid on ebay is better than never worn and lurking the the wardrobe for ever!!

eBay is great, you'll soon get the hang of it and you'll find that designer stuff usually gets an ok price... there are some pretty savvy eBayers out there!

Good luck with it all!

dancingfairy

Hi - I was just going to say - I don't think it's about living like a pauper (in case you were begining to think it was - lol )- more a case of being savvy with your cash - you probably work hard to earn your cash so just be wise how you spend it
Some things are relatively easy - ie switching electric - you may be able to save a bit and it's not going to impact on your lifestyle and the same with the food shopping -it's probably not going to affect your image etc but you will notice the difference in your pocket .
Good Luck - instead of spending you'll be working on building your nest egg and if things go wrong job wise at least you'll have your nest egg to fall back on.
df