help required - fed up hamster in wheel

humblepii

Hi Y&F,

Afraid I don't have anything practical to add to the brilliant advice here but just wanted to add my voice in support. I have quite an industry-intense job in London and it's very much about looking the part, so I completely sympathise with where you're coming from. I've only recently joined MSE myself but find reading the boards regularly a real reality check when I'm tempted to pop out to Topshop on my lunch hour! Well done for posting your SOA. I'm still building up the guts.

I recently turned 28 - definitely agree that 'something funny' happens around this age. For me, it was realising that 10 years have passed since I was 18, and I want to have a LOT more to show for myself after another 10 have passed.

Best of luck! HP

GEEGEE8

All is not lost, there are loads of things you can change, as highlighted above.

The car.. I used to have loads of nice cars, a brand new Mitsubishi Warrior 25k, then shared the Z4 with ex-OH, then shared the Range Rover.. then went bankrupt left Ex, and got myself into rented accomodation with a £2k Peugeot 206.. ! I loved that car so much! I appreciated it much more than the others.

Off to uni now, so I have no car, but it's not really been as much of a big deal as I thought it would be, and my friends are still my friends regardless.

Get rid of the car, and get a nice sporty thing instead for half the price. If your friends comment, then just say you are fed up with wasting your hard earned cash on a big car.

debtfreegonnabe_2

young-and-free wrote: »

thanks dfgb, i like the bit at the bottom of your message - do i need it or want it - my life story i am afraid. you are right i don't feel desperate but annoyed that how did i end up like this. sorry to say that friends are all spenders and just feel pressure to keep up. bought a private reg from the dvla for £250 to hide the fact the car is second hand which now feels a bit sad.

Yep Ive done the keeping up with friends bit. Its a horrible feeling when your friends are spending and your not BUT the feeling of this debt hanging round my neck is a far worse feeling. Probably your friends are spending to keep up with you too, how ironic would that be ! I think you know what you need to do. Your pride and joy is not going to do you any good when your card get refused or the debtors start knocking on the the door. ( listen to me think I was the perfect MSE) :rotfl:Funny how we can sort others and not ourselves !

BFGB

GEEGEE8

lol - I'm 27, and since the bankruptcy 3 yrs ago sorted out the money side of things, I'm stressing about my career and heading off to uni. Something definately happens! haha

young-and-free

Council tax is single person discount - i live in a full length glass window penthouse flat in city centre with underground parking space which is ridiculous to be honest. Rent and factors fees and council tax are just crazy but still got 6 months on 2 year lease.

Mobile phone is iphone 4 so locked in for another 22 months.

Sky/bband/phone is too high - i cant remember the last time i watched the movies or sport on it. had it for 18 months so shoudl be able to do a deal.

need to look at groceries - not sure what i buy to be honest - i only shop in the marks & spencers food to go place on the next corner - i take it going to tesco would be cheaper?

clothing yes i totally agree and that is me probably not putting down the full amount. I am typing this in a tshirt that cost £65 and jeans that cost £150 which is crazy and actually makes me now want to cry.

Car related expenses are already discussed - need to think about downgrading for sure. And to think i had an eye on a second hand porsche boxster 6 months ago.

contents insurance - will have a look at comparison websites. got a couple of valuable watches and the tv listed as single items.

entertainment - doesnt feel a lot but can go through £100 easy on a night out. this is crazy behaviour too, been gettign fed up with this for a while now and started to come up with excuses to skip the odd saturday, but being right in the middle of the city is not ecaxtly convenient for people showing up at the door.

a lot of food for thought - thanks for the pushes in the right direction - i guess confidence was lacking.



EDIT: just reread this and wondering what happened to me - i had turned into a completely materialistic @?<>:@{! - this is really a kick in the pants.

young-and-free

am on a roll now but why oh why do we all get ourselves into this state. I really think money education should be taught at school. maybe it is now and i dont know. just like jamie olivers school dinners - we should have martin lewiss school budgets. If only i knew what at 18 i feel now it would be so different. maybe i am just getting emotional about it and thats a stage i need to go through but heres to looking forward rather than back. just so frustrated at myself.:(:(:(

debtfreegonnabe_2

The thing is that its FAB you have have realized all this now :j:j:j before it got worse, well done I say. I intend to be debt free by my birthday next April. Maybe you should give yourself one or two goals, something to work to-wards.

DFGB

incher

young-and-free wrote: »

I really think money education should be taught at school. maybe it is now and i dont know. just like jamie olivers school dinners - we should have martin lewiss school budgets. If only i knew what at 18 i feel now it would be so different.

I couldn't agree more! It isn't really taught at school yet, as far as I know. There were rumblings about financial education but it didn't get voted in (or something like that - others may confirm).

Anyway, I fully intend to make sure my kids know all there is to know about budgeting and running a household before they leave home. I didn't have a clue and am only now (in my early 40s) really getting a grip.

So, you're doing well to have started thinking about it in your 20s. You'll do so well, I'm sure of it!

Good luck :-)

humblepii

I echo DFGB. Forget what you did. Think about what you're going to do next. You're already on the right track! From what I can see, many people don't have their LBM till they're in their 30s or 40s - imagine, you'll be well DF by then.

When the dust settles a bit and you've got your car sorted and all the big stuff tackled, you should be able to drum up some funds by selling some of your nice, expensive, surplus stuff on eBay. That's where I'm at now. Yesterday I sold an empty box - just because it was Prada! :rotfl:

Anyway, writing on your thread inspired me to start my own diary thread. So thank you :T

MFWannabe

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Thankfully you have had your light bulb moment before getting in way over your head.
It's what you do now that counts; you've already made some very big steps today; signing up on here and looking into selling your car.
Well done. You really can do this. Stay focused and look to the future. Set yourself some goals; you want to be debt free by such and such date; you then want to save money to enable you to buy your own place one day etc etc...