getting disheartened :-(

[Deleted User]

It just seems like so many difficulties present themselves that perhaps it's easier not to get hitched at all.

I don't even want the big 'do', due to it being our 2nd time around, and being almost 40!

I've had numerous health problems, live in a Somerset village, my fiance is a hard worker, a guy who came here as a refugee from south Asia.

I'd ideally like to have two 'weddings' (see my previous threads) because we have differing religious backgrounds (I'm Christian, he's Hindu) and I'd like to do them simply but quite elegantly, if you know what I mean!

It's the practical difficulties and cost of some things that seem insurmountable!

I have two lovely family friends who can do flowers and catering if needed, at mate's rates. My lovely mummy said she'd pay for a gorgeous towering chocolate creation for cake/dessert so that's great.

My idea was to try and do this within one day, with rest periods built in -
Have my simple village church wedding here where I live, then to somewhere for afternoon tea party reception (basically posh sarnies & cake) then a rest then Hindu evening wedding with Indian buffet (again we have Indian restaurant contacts so that's not a problem)

No bells, no hymns, no favours, no personalised sodding napkins etc

The problem is finding a venue!!!

No relative has a garden big enough for it, if we could afford a marquee which I doubt, and hotels/country houses nearby are charging £1000+ just for the use of venue, and most insist you use their caterers & drinks etc. I have a big family & we share a circle of friends.

No local village halls are pretty enough for a wedding, we don't live in a touristy setting.

My mum & stepdad said they would chip in, but as they did for my 1st wedding, and I got divorced, I really don't want to do it as it just doesn't feel right.

I'm getting ready to forget it all, seriously. My 'dream wedding' isn't anything glamorous or OTT, just a nice Vicarage garden tea party type thing but I can't find anywhere!!!!

Does anyone hire out their gorgeous gardens?

maggie111

It sounds like you're so close to being able to do it... And what's stopping you is location? Should you increase this radius by an hour's drive I reckon you'd be able to do this easily. I don't know what a Hindu wedding involves or where you would have this so I imagine having 2 wedding venues, and one reception venue will make things awkward, but definitely doable.

As your venue doesn't need a civil ceremony license I reckon you should be doing well. Why don't you post your location on here and we can help you look? EDIT - sorry I see you live in Somerset... I'm sure we'll all get on it!

floss2

Does your local Council have any halls or community centres, or maybe there is a local school hall you could hire? Or a tennis or cricket club?

Dizzie77

Whereabouts do you want to get married? let's see what we can find x

frannyann

Don't get down, we can help!! Tell us rough location and max travelling distance and we can do the googling for you x

**dancingbutterfly**

im hiring my local brand new community centre for our wedding,

its £250 for the whole weekend, i can use my own caterers and bar people.

they provide 12 circular banquet tables, trestle tables,tablecloths, plates cuttlery, glasses everything!

the place is huge and brand new! and an absolute bargain in my opinion!

i can decorate it how i want and they'll help with anything i want to do!

the only drawback is i have to go there the morning after the wedding to clean it all up! but i dont mind hopefully people will come and help me!


good luck finding something!

[Deleted User]

Thanks guys

I live in the south Somerset/Dorset border area - in the triangle bounded by Wincanton/Sherborne/Sturminster Newton on the map.

Lots of people will be travelling quite a long way to get here initially if they come, so wanted to have my reception within 30min drive of my local church, also I get tired and creaky quite easily so quite local would be a plus too!

We're quite happy to hold our wedding day on a Sunday or weekday, to keep costs etc down.

Better clarify - I wanted to have the tea & hindu ceremony & evening party all in the same spot, preferably with a room where I could rest up for an hour in between!

If my local village hall was pretty or in a nice spot for photos I'd go there but it's not. I just wish my Mum & Stepdad had a huge garden as it's be great but no relative/friend locally has that I can think of.

I've got my eye on a lovely tea dress in pink + bolero for the day, and obviously will have to have a nice red saree for evening, so no worries there.

I'm so not a bridezilla except for this one issue LOL!!

PS just to add I had an email reply to an enquiry - a local farm barn that looks very olde worlde, that provides the furniture, power & portaloo. Only £3000 but with a 25% discount..... blimey I'm in the wrong job I think!!

Dizzie77

ok - so you may have already tried some of these - but you can discount them straight away if you have -

http://www.wincantonsportsground.co.uk/bookings.htm

http://www.wincantonracecourse.co.uk/Events/Outdoor-venue-hire.htm (I'm thinking this might be out of budget - but it's worth a go)

http://www.stur-exchange.co.uk/

http://www.sherborneartslink.org.uk/8.html (I can't see that they actually hire their function rooms - but it could well be worth asking!!)


Or would you consider Yeovil? it's only a bit out of your area?

Also consider school halls - which won't be used on the weekend - but can be quite sizeable. I know quite a few schools that hire out
their halls for functions now.

vicki+1

"No bells, no hymns, no favours, no personalised sodding napkins etc" lol that tickled me, like the above posts say you are so nearly there, hang in there i am sure you can find what you want at a suitable budget

LEJC

"the only drawback is i have to go there the morning after the wedding to clean it all up! but i dont mind hopefully people will come and help me!"

Have a word with your family/bridesmaids ....we had a hall for our evening reception and there was a similar policy...my bridesmaid asked if she could arrange the clearing up after the wedding as part of our gift as she knew we would not want to be bothered with it the next day....She took charge of everything possibly enlisting the help of a few friends to... and ensured the keys were returned safely....a lovely gesture that was much appreciated.

[Deleted User]

I'd ideally like a hall/venue in a nice setting for photos and general milling about - I've been to countless weddings in village halls, sports halls etc etc and it's not quite 'me' I guess!

Damn my 1950's Vicarage Garden Tea Party obsession LOLOLOLOL!!