All help and advice so very, very welcome!

tbourner

Sunnylooloo wrote: »

Don't want to hijack the OP thread so I might have to PM you Trev to see how you did it all!!

Did you see my earlier post:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.html?p=35601343&postcount=9
The bank accounts are the main thing, they helped massively, I'm also an advanced Excel user which helps to put everything down and do lots of calculations etc.

clearing_out_my_pockets

Hi depressedwithdebt

Can you confirm if your wife is a joint owner of your house? Or are all of your accounts separate? The reason for asking is if you aren't honest with her now and you're financially linked, she'll probably find out at some point when SHE gets turned down for credit... It's better if you're upfront about it now.

Sunnylooloo

DWD

if you take this loan you are def going to close the accounts with Virgin and Egg and cut up the cards etc.....??

BLT_2

depressedwithdebt wrote: »

Firstly, thanks so much to everyone for taking the time to reply to my appeal for help! This is my first time of airing my deepest worries as I am so ashamed of the financial position I have ended up in.

I will work on a SOA as suggested in the hope this gives a little more info of my financial position, and the best way to get out of it!

tbourner, can I ask how you have managed to get your debt clearing on the right track? It's nice to see how you so clearly understand the difficulties and embarrassments of being a high earner who is in so much debt!

The Virgin credit card is clearly your first priority, at the end of your 0% you will be paying 198 pounds per month in interest and your monthly payment will be circa 220 pounds.

The main issue here is that you have reached critical point, if, as is oft the case, the credit card companies get wind of your situation, historically they are very adept at raising their interest rates in order to adapt to the percieved risk factor.

depressedwithdebt

Sunnylooloo wrote: »

DWD

if you take this loan you are def going to close the accounts with Virgin and Egg and cut up the cards etc.....??

Hey LL

They will be cremated. I fully recognise this is my last chance, and what the consequences will be if I do not make a significant committment now.

LBM has well and truly occurred, and I intend to take the chance to sort it all out.

I have also now been in touch with my lender, who have been brilliant. They have agreed to reduce my mortgage to interest only for 12 whole months, which will save me a total of £5,676. That is a massive chunk to pay off my debt, and as soon as my income comes in and the mortgage is paid, I will pay the difference of £473 straight off debt.

After 12 months, I am hoping that I will have gotten things a bit more in order so that I can keep on top of things. Hopefully I will have paid off most of my credit cards (what with consolidation loan and now extra saving on mortgage) and as I will be cancelling the cards and accounts, I cannot then put the money back on them.

I feel like I have been given a bit of a lifeline, and that over the next 12 months I can make a huge start to get things back in order.

Still not looking forward to telling the wife the drastic steps I have taken, and how we will need to watch every penny for some time yet, but hopefully she will understand.

The debt was accrued as a result of overspending by us both, with me paying for it on my cards. Only fair she should share the hard times as well!!

Sunnylooloo

Ah that is such good news - esp about the lender (I was really lucky we switched to interest only ages ago- before the recession as we were splitting up then and never ended changing back - thank god! as it if when we spit up for the second time they probably wouldn't have changed us over)

Haha I think my ex feels the same about the debt - only trouble if we have the same amount but he wants me to pay more off his! Hmm the less said about him the better ! :mad:

I do honestly think you will feel much better when you tell your wife, espeically now that you have acutally done something about it.

Just join in with all the Money Saving Tips and you really won't look back and I promise you as we discussed before, a couple of glasses of wine, a nice meal out, cinema trip and maybe in the future a break away - it is all possible.

I really do wish you all the very best of luck and keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.

LL

Triggles

Please make sure you talk to your wife about this BEFORE you agree to the consolidation loan!!! I know that if DH took out a consolidation loan without discussing it fully with me (including a complete view of the state of our finances), I would be LIVID!!

Sunnylooloo

Triggles wrote: »

Please make sure you talk to your wife about this BEFORE you agree to the consolidation loan!!! I know that if DH took out a consolidation loan without discussing it fully with me (including a complete view of the state of our finances), I would be LIVID!!

VERY wise words!

joolz43

Winner 12's idea sounds like a good one. But you must use the time and money to pay off the debts. I consolidated several times before my lightbulb moment. I had £57k of debt and had to come clean with my hubby - I had taken on nearly all of our debt myself. My credit rating is still rubbish but he has been able to get car loans etc. I have always paid up the arranged amounts on my DMP, have gradually increased my payments over the year, have been defaulted but have no CCJs and am a year from a total debt free life.

It can be done, it is hard, but you have to be prepared to face life without credit to get to the end point.

good luck!

tbourner

Well done on the mortgage DWD! :T I wish we could get away with doing that! Although we're early in our mortgage so it's mostly interest anyway.