All help and advice so very, very welcome!

tbourner

depressedwithdebt wrote: »

I am going to try and get my SOA up together today in the hope that there may be some way of getting on top of the debts and starting to clear them (however long it takes!) without going for a consolidation loan or a DMP.....

Those are only my opinions though obviously, once you post up the SOA people might say a DMP is the best option for example. Just try to be as honest and accurate as you can with the SOA as you'll only be asked to do it again otherwise.

Sunnylooloo

Hi DWD

just checking in to see that you are ok and it seems like you have already been given lots of good advice.

I know the thought of a DMP seem a bit daunting, but since November I can believe how much I can manage my money now and have money left over which can get saved or used to pay off a bit more of a debt one month.

I know it had a huge impact on your credit history and I know people are all so paranoid about this (with good reason I can see) but with me, I know my house will be sold, I will have to to into rented, I do not want to get sucked back in to the "easy money" lifestyle I had before.

It is hard when I say to people O I can't come out as I have no money - they look at you as if you are mad (I too have a good salary and a part time second job!!) but I am not getting myself into a pickle just to go on a night out.

People have suggested ebaying and bootsales. You will be amazed what you can find at a boot sale, I am sure you have loads of things from your first child (I know you will probably want to keep some bits in case you do have a new addition) but it is a great chance to declutter (and boot sales are hilarious - I love doing them). Some weeks we might only make a few quid but I have never cleared less thatn £30.

I know it is a lifestyle change but believe me I have never been happier. My ex hub and I had luxurious holidays and a beautiful house, was out a couple of nights a week, ate in fantastic restaurants........ all on plastic and loans. all we were left with after our marriage ended was a shed load of debt nothing to show! Now I am with my partner and we have had a tough couple of years, forget holidays, forget nights out, but we are happy, we know we can afford what we have and it makes us appreciate the treats when we can spoilt ourselves. We had a great week off with his kids last week and it didn't cost us the earth.

As has been suggested read others threads and have a look round all the boards you will pick up some great tips. (I am just thinking last year I saved over £100 a month on my gas and electric by swapping - and did it through a cash back site! so made some money there!)

When you get time post your SOA.

Also as I said in my first post and also what has been said since, please make your wife aware of the situation it really is important.

Good Luck
LL

winner12

Hi there if you call your mortgage company you would have to admit your in debt they would need to know what you owe and to who and you need to have your SOA handy they will also ask you what your future plans are and the other department they talk about are more helpfull its there job to help people I did all of this and got a 3 month payment holiday and they changed the direct debit date to the end of the month giving us a extra month it helped while i set up my DMP cleared the overdraft and kept us a float its worth a try

depressedwithdebt

Hi

I have now added the first draft of my SOA which appears at the bottom of my first post.

Thanks again everyone. I am so genuinely touched that there are people out there who know nothing about me, but who are willing to give up their time to try and help me out of this mess.

Sunnylooloo

Hi

I have just had a quick look and the obv things that I would say would be gas/elec etc but your wife pays them so I cant see anything glaring out at me (someone else will be better than me as I am more used to SOA's on the BR board which are slightly different)

Is there anyway your mum might be able to give you a little payment holiday with the money she leant you?

I'm not sure if it might be better to do a joint SOA with both yours and your wife's income on it and all the bills so we can see if there is anywhere we can save a bit more??

I know you are very worried about your credit history but can I ask you, are you thinking of moving or taking out more credit? As if you are not then I know you don't really want to do it but it may be worth seeing if you can do a DMP..??

Sorry not really much help here.

I think the payment holiday might be an idea to ask about again? or interest only? you never know and it is worth asking?? (worse case is they say no)

As I said one of the other guys will be along soon with some better advice

keep your chin up - there is a way out somehow.

LL

tbourner

Don't worry about budgeting for holidays and entertainment, if you want to go down my route of more bank accounts you know that whatever is left in the shopping account is for entertainment, if it's not there you can't spend it!! I wouldn't save for holidays either but then we never go on holidays.

You need to budget for car servicing etc. MOTs and tax are yearly but you need to work out a monthly figure and save that much or at least put it on the SOA.

You can make some good savings on insurances. We've reduced our pet insurance (helpUcover), life insurance (LV) and buildings and contents (Shielas Wheels!) from figures similar to yours, and have saved around £80 a month. You need to think of it as part of your job, spend 1 hour doing each insurance and if you save £20 off the yearly cost that's £20 per hour you're earning! If you save £100......


//edit: Ooh, you need to sit down with your wife and go through all this with her. I don't know 'who' built up the debts but I assume it was mostly you and not family related? Either way you will need to come clean and have a sit down discussion about it all, maybe you can decide between you if you want to mix up the bills and stuff a bit more as she might agree that it's a bit silly that she has £200 spare each month(eg) and you're spiralling out of control in debt!!!

depressedwithdebt

Sunnylooloo wrote: »

Hi

I have just had a quick look and the obv things that I would say would be gas/elec etc but your wife pays them so I cant see anything glaring out at me (someone else will be better than me as I am more used to SOA's on the BR board which are slightly different)

Is there anyway your mum might be able to give you a little payment holiday with the money she leant you?

I'm not sure if it might be better to do a joint SOA with both yours and your wife's income on it and all the bills so we can see if there is anywhere we can save a bit more??

I know you are very worried about your credit history but can I ask you, are you thinking of moving or taking out more credit? As if you are not then I know you don't really want to do it but it may be worth seeing if you can do a DMP..??

Sorry not really much help here.

I think the payment holiday might be an idea to ask about again? or interest only? you never know and it is worth asking?? (worse case is they say no)

As I said one of the other guys will be along soon with some better advice

keep your chin up - there is a way out somehow.

LL

Thanks for your help. I have started to approach the subject with my wife, and have been through her finances with her and to be honest she isn't really left with anything to bung my way. We sorted out the gas and electric earlier this year on a 12 month cheap rate offer which saves us about £30 or £40 a month.

We aren't thinking of selling (and I really hope it doesn't come to that, one of my worst fears), and was only thinking of consolidating the higher interest debts - probably Virgin card, Santander loan and egg credit card. I was then thinking of transferring remaining higher interest debt to Virgin (if I can get another low interest offer for 12 months or so), and start to pay any remaining monies to remaining debts to try and get it all reduced. All whilst locking the credit cards away in a dark and dingy cupboard.

But the problem is whether or not I could get any loan to consolidate in the first place...

The more I think about it all, the more I panic that there is no way out of it.

Sunnylooloo

Please don't panic. There is always a way out.

I would just be a worried about getting another loan. I can see what you are saying but I can't even tell how how many consolidation loans I have had in the past....... and guess what, paid off the card and even if i cut that one up, I just got another one.

I'm glad you are bringing your wife into the loop I really do think it is important.

I am in the midst of a very long, very messy and very expensive divorce and I will have to sell my house at some point, I tried to keep the house by myself or get another mortage to buy elsewhere, and finally I have realised you know what I will have no other option but to rent, and now I have that in mind and got my head around it I am fine. We will probably rent in my partners name (as I have said before my credit history is shot to bits) but we will cope and we will manage. Maybe in later years we will be able to buy again but in the meantime renting is our only option.

I am just not convinced about the consolidation loan (but remember this is just my opinion)

Also keep posting as there are lots of people here to help and advise where we can

depressedwithdebt

Sunnylooloo wrote: »

Please don't panic. There is always a way out.

I would just be a worried about getting another loan. I can see what you are saying but I can't even tell how how many consolidation loans I have had in the past....... and guess what, paid off the card and even if i cut that one up, I just got another one.

I'm glad you are bringing your wife into the loop I really do think it is important.

I am in the midst of a very long, very messy and very expensive divorce and I will have to sell my house at some point, I tried to keep the house by myself or get another mortage to buy elsewhere, and finally I have realised you know what I will have no other option but to rent, and now I have that in mind and got my head around it I am fine. We will probably rent in my partners name (as I have said before my credit history is shot to bits) but we will cope and we will manage. Maybe in later years we will be able to buy again but in the meantime renting is our only option.

I am just not convinced about the consolidation loan (but remember this is just my opinion)

Also keep posting as there are lots of people here to help and advise where we can

Thanks again LL.

My main worry about a DMP is getting CCJ's, which I have read is quite likely. I am also worried that it will impact on my ability to keep a good mortgage rate in the future.

Sunnylooloo

I totally understand that. I have been doing my little DMP for nearly a year now and to date (fingers crossed and touching wood) I have not had a CCJ issued and I have been speaking to someone else about advice on this, so althoug I know it could be in my future, right now I am making regular affordable payments and that is all that matters.

Have you spoken to a good financial advisior? I had some really good advice from an independant guy when I was trying to sort out a mortgage etc? We didn't have to pay him (as I know some do charge don't they?)

It is really hard I know as I am sure a few years back you could've probably re-mortgaged and got rid of some of that debt.

I dont really know what the way out is. Did you say you have tried for another 0% card?

I think it was a bit easier for me as I am now resigned that the house will go and I will rent, I don't want any more credit so I wasn't so fussed about how my credit report looks for the next few years as I know I will be able to get this sorted at some point.

Sorry not really much help am I - but here to listen

LL