owning up ..help

bestthingsinlife

I have finally plucked up the courage to post. I really really need help/ advice. I have four young children ages 5 to 10. Work full time and so does OH and I am going under with the stress of debt. I feel upset all the time and angry for getting into this position. I dont know which way to turn. After reading other posts on here I got in touch with CCC but they can only call me back at the end of the month, so I am pretty much in limbo until then. I am surprised weight is not just dropping off me as I feel sick all day, all the while trying to keep the family together and put a face on at work and in front of my friends. I could not for the shame of it tell anyone other than my family, whose opinion was tough..... My OH swings from being suicidal to just plain nasty (because of stress)
I have no equity in my house but have a huge mortgage, about £60K in credit cards and another £20K in loans. I will post an SOA as soon as I can but I do know that my income does not cover my outgoings and I am having to buy food and petrol on my credit cards. Sorry to blurt on I know this is my mess... I feel such a failure and just want to runaway from it all

ruthiejane

Well done for taking the first step and admitting you need to sort this out.

Browntoa

you are not a failure, once your SOA is on here there are several very able people on here who can help you out , did you try Payplan as well ??

mountainofdebt

by asking for help.

Don't beat yourself up - the old adage of crying over split milk is so true - the money has been spent so now we can help you to get out of the mess you seem to be in.

Post your SOA as soon as possible.

In the meantime keep saying to yourself that you will use the energy that you are spending worrying about the situation to actually doing something about it.

bestthingsinlife

No I havent been in touch with payplan, I am a bit scared of them, are they a charity? in fact I am a bit scared of it all

moxie_2

Payplan are great, I'm with them. They are a charity and very non judgemental. I think they are a bit quicker in getting back to you than CCCS. Good luck!

mountainofdebt

From what I understand, Payplan do the same job as CCCS. One way of looking at it the end of the month is only a week away and I'm sure that MSE can fill that week with full of useful ideas in the meantime.

The other thing I was going to add was that it's easy to be scared of what you don't know - athough having said that when I worked out how much I owed I needed the toilet desparately.

The important thing now is for you to work out a)how much you owe and b)where the money goes.

When you've worked out that, at least then you know what you're dealing with and you CAN do something about it. Personally I think its far more scary putting your head in the sand.....you never know what is about to take a bite out of your bum!

The other key in getting this sorted is getting hubby to realise that you (as in the plural you) can do something about it.....as I am sure he will do once you've had advice from both this site and CCCS.

Take care

bestthingsinlife

Income

My wage - £2000
OH - £1000
Benefit- £318

Total £3318

Outgoings

mortgage £900
council tax £135
elec £84
gas £87
house ins £31
lifeins £31
TVlience £10
water £38
phone £40
car ins £50
car tax £27
pension £18


loans

if £7500 - £142
northern 5000 - £90
HP 6000 - £144.57

cards

tsb - £14,600
amex - £4600
cahoot - £5000
goldfish - £4200
ohplat - £5000
natwest - £9000
skycard - £3600
barclay - £1000
virgin - £4700
egg - £2300

monthly repayments - no idea ???? about £1200 min payments

mountainofdebt

can you post your aprs - if these aren't quoted on your statement then post the monthly rates...this will help us help you prioritise the debts.

Also it may be useful to post last months minimum payments.

Also for the loans - how long have they to run?

Biddyrolo

Can you put interest rates for the different cards and loans and also what you spend on food and anything else so that them what know can help. There really are some brilliant people on here.

piglet6

Big hugs :grouphug:, bestthingsinlife, and well done for posting :T. The hardest bit is realising and admitting that there is a problem.

Once you post your SOA, you will be amazed at how the people on this board will help you cut costs and make savings on practically everything. Its amazing how a pair of "fresh eyes" (or 200 pairs of fresh eyes ) can spot ways to make savings on things that didn't even occur to you when you're panicking about things!;) Please don't beat yourself up over the situation - lots of people manage to get into debt for all sorts of reasons, and people are here to help, not judge. Give hubby a hug and reassure him that the two of you can work it out by working together to beat it - I know it feels like an impossibly big mountain to climb at the moment, but now you have admitted the problems, you have taken control of the debt, rather than it having control of you!:D

Welcome to the DFW board, and I look forward to travelling with you on your journey to debt-freeness - I believe you can do it :j (just like I believe I can do it and everybody else posting here can do it!).

Piglet
x

edited to add: I type way too slowly!:p While I was typing you've already done the SOA - see, you're taking control already...brilliant job!!:T