choosing bridesmaids

codemonkey

it might be a bit early to be thinking about this, but I need more help. You see, I have several options as bridesmaid's or flower girls. I've narrowed it down to 4 bridesmaids and 2 flowergirls but can't choose between them.

Choice 1 is like my sister, we grew up together, we're still in contact and if I have flowergirls they will be her daughters. But I don't want her organising my hen night because she'll choose something tacky.

Choice 2 is the closest thing OH has to a sister. She's lovely but I don't know her very well. OH would love it if I pick her. She has the added bonus of bring able to do my makeup professionally for me.

Choice 3 is the person that I always thought would be my bridesmaid but we've kind of drifted apart over the last year or two. I think she expects me to ask her and loyalty suggests I should.

Choice 4 is another friend who has been so happy since we announced our engagement and has gone out of her way to help with venue searches, talk about plans, not look glazed when i do wedding talk.

Has anyone else had this problem and how did you choose

shellsuit

Can you not have them all?

Sammy85_2

Why not have them all, but tell them you cant afford to buy their dresses. If they are friends, and worthwhile as bridesmaids then they'll say yes anyway.

Then start looking for dresses you like but are not too expensive.

Or look for a full set online second hand, you can always get them altered if necessary.

RainbowDrops

The important thing is to choose who you want, rather than who you feel obliged to ask.
You'll be doing a few thing with them on the run up to the wedding, so they need to be someone that you think you could get through a shopping trip with without there being uncomfortable silences, or huffing & puffing.
Also, about picking your sister, but not wanting her to pick your hen do, you can put forward some suggestions of what you'd like.

My sister & I have quite different ideas for what we like, so she gave me a list of suggestions for her hen do. Likewise, for my hen do, I'll probs entrust that to my other BMs, but my sis will certainly be involved.

codemonkey

I did consider that, but not sure I can afford 4 dresses plus 2 flowergirls dresses and flowers. Plus someone pointed out that the top table would be massive. Unless I decided to send the bridesmaids out with the plebs.

Would 4 be too many?

I have no idea what I'm doing!

Sammy85_2

I dont think 4 is too many. Seriously, have a guess at what size they are and take a look on ebay at sets of bridemaid dresses. Aim for slightly bigger if necessary, you can get them taken in. Flower girls dresses are easier to find and you can go for ivory rather than a matching colour and they'll still match the bridesmaids if you see what i mean.

I bought mine on ebay, choosing colours that suited them and then thats the colour scheme ive gone with.

Our bridesmaids & best men (there are 3 best men!) are sitting together on two tables with their partners. We're sitting them near the front so best men can stand up and make speeches from their own table.

jenhug

just have the 2 flower girls. they are not old enough to book a tacky hen do, and none of the friends will feel pushed out over another friend/sibling.
money saving too!

clearing_out_my_pockets

I'd opt for Choices 1 & 4, with 4 as your 'chief bridesmaid' so she gets to organise the hen do. Then ask 2 & 3 to be your witnesses or do readings.

Simples!

Kazz81

You ask if 4 would be too many, but I get the impression that there are only 3 you actually want!

In fairness, some people dont WANT to be bridesmaids, I am having my sister and my daughter as bridesmaids and I have 1 other friend who seemed a bit gutted I didnt ask her and another who told me in no uncertain terms that much as she loves me and will help me do anything I need, she does not want to be 'in' the wedding. I am having both of these friends daughters as flowergirls, which includes them a bit but not too much if that makes sense!

I only WANT my sister and daughter as bridesmaids, there were other people I felt I should ask, but I didnt WANT them to be bridesmaids, so I didnt bother asking them.

Just do what suits you & OH best-with regards to your sistern and the hen night you can tell her that you would only be comfortable with x y and z and she will likely go with what makes you happy.

DKLS

Pick the fattest ones.

sammy_wheeler

lol at dkls! that made me giggle!