mother claiming csa arrears from daughters

DUTR

kelloggs36 wrote: »

But it was the responsibilty of the natural father to pay, not the other person who did -like my case. My husband now paid towards my daughter by my ex - so technically I could give him half of what was paid to me (in arrears!) as we are a unit, he gets it anyway.

Could or should?
I understand what you are saying, I do feel theough that the mother in the case of the OP will not be successful in a claim, it would have to be proven that she was dependant upon his income (and that would only be for a case like pension payout) , as the csa claim was not active (as in recent and regular payments) then it maybe more impossible to prove a need. Then even so, it would more likely be limited to what he may have paid via the csa, I think the law would see the case for what it is and not a for profit basis

AnxiousMum

DUTR wrote: »

Excellent point often over looked

It may be 'overlooked' now and then, but.......my partner took on myself and two children - knowing full well, that there was an order in place for child support, and I worked full time - so the needs of my children were being met by both parents. Not to say, that he hasn't bought them extras, and not even shown concern when they've needed something and he's taken care of it. Why wouldn't he? We were a package which he gladly took on. He however, did not have children and always wanted them. We went on, knowing his income, my income and what was coming in to help with my older two, and had three further children together. All was fine, no issues - until my EX had another child. Obviously he didn't do his homework to see that he could afford another child with the current outgoings. He also has a step child, which they choose not to go after child support for - but that's their choice. Because they don't get it for one, doesn't let him out of his responsibility to HELP provide for our two. So the fact that I have a partner who would not let my two eldest boys want for anything (and in fact, at Christmas, birthdays, other times for extra's, he ensured they had just as much as our own three children - he doesn't do 'they only get half 'cos they've got another parent' or anything silly like that). Because they are fortunate to have such a sharing step (I hate that word!) father, do you think that let's their natural father off the hook for his commitments? I don't......my younger three children don't know what a vacation is - and to be honest, the first thing that's going to happen when the arrears come in, after second son's university is taken care of of course, is I'm booking a vacation for the entire family - and yes, I will be sending the ex a postcard of thanks My other three little guys have gone without due to my partner ensuring ALL children are treated equally - and ALL my children deserve a little reward for their lack of complaints

Marisco

You know what I find really sad about the OP's case is, that because of greed, the mother has now destroyed the relationship between her and her daughters, probably irrevocably:( She had ample time to persue the father for money when the kids were little, for reasons unknown she didn't, now there is a few quid on the table, she does this!! It's not only the daughters she has alienated, she probably won't get to see the grandkids either. Greed is an awful thing:(

DUTR

Marisco wrote: »

You know what I find really sad about the OP's case is, that because of greed, the mother has now destroyed the relationship between her and her daughters, probably irrevocably:( She had ample time to persue the father for money when the kids were little, for reasons unknown she didn't, now there is a few quid on the table, she does this!! It's not only the daughters she has alienated, she probably won't get to see the grandkids either. Greed is an awful thing

Indeed it is, an interesting thread with a few learning points some we already know.
Behind every great man is a woman and behind every great mum, there is a man :beer:

kelloggs36

She put in a claim to the CSA so she HAD pursued him for money - they hadn't done their job properly, but that doesn't mean she didn't want it at the time. If she was on benefits, she won't get the money anyway, the government will, and if she wasn't then they could have come to a private arrangement - either way the NRP had not financially supported his children.

kelloggs36

DUTR wrote: »

Could or should? it wouldn't make any difference as all our money is our money, it isn't separated at all, so he has as much access to it as I do
I understand what you are saying, I do feel theough that the mother in the case of the OP will not be successful in a claim, it would have to be proven that she was dependant upon his income (and that would only be for a case like pension payout) , as the csa claim was not active (as in recent and regular payments) then it maybe more impossible to prove a need. Then even so, it would more likely be limited to what he may have paid via the csa, I think the law would see the case for what it is and not a for profit basis

...........................................................

DX2

kelloggs36 wrote: »

She put in a claim to the CSA so she HAD pursued him for money - they hadn't done their job properly, but that doesn't mean she didn't want it at the time. If she was on benefits, she won't get the money anyway, the government will, and if she wasn't then they could have come to a private arrangement - either way the NRP had not financially supported his children.

But did she? See how the story changes when she changes her username.

stacfor1 wrote: »

I am 25 and have a sister who is 28, my mother never went ahead with a claim from my father through the CSA after they seperated when I was 1. My father has now passed away and my sister, step sister and I are awaiting payment of an insurance policy our father had for us and we have received a letter from the CSA to say that my mum is cvlaiming backdated payments totalling £18000 from us, is this even possible??

DUTR

AnxiousMum wrote: »

It may be 'overlooked' now and then, but.......my partner took on myself and two children - knowing full well, that there was an order in place for child support, and I worked full time - so the needs of my children were being met by both parents. Not to say, that he hasn't bought them extras, and not even shown concern when they've needed something and he's taken care of it. Why wouldn't he?

Believe it or not, lots of guys do that (myself included). Just glad to see some of the tone changing in some of the posts :beer:

cheza1982

deleted post

cheza1982

deleted post