So stressed and stupid.

ayupmiduck1

Hi guys,

Im new here..

Ive got serious debt issues and I don't know what to do about it. I'm at my wits end and feel sick to the pit of my stomach

I currently have at least £12,000 in unsecured debts owed to 5 different companies.

I also owe approximatly £10,000 to my parents who tried to get me out of a mess before and who I have so selfishly let down.

I am on a DMP with the CCCS and was paying £128 per month toward my balances. (Last payment was 19/05/2010)

Since being on the DMP, I tried to put my debt to the back of my mind, in the knowledge that I was making an effort and paying what I could afford. I left my last property to move into my girlfriends parents in January but foolishly have not told my creditors.

I had made a couple of poor career moves in the last 6 months and had to resign from my last job mid july as I was threatened by a local competitor and did not feel safe at work.

I am currently unemployed and having to fight my case to get benefits as I left my job.

I currently live with my girlfriend at her parents house, and as such I am not entitled to any housing benefit.

I have absolutely no income, cannot pay for food, rent or anything towards my debts. I feel so awful eating their food and my girlfriend cannot support me for much longer as she is not on a huge wage.

This morning I recieved a letter through the post from a debt collection agency who have stated that they have located me through a credit referencing agency and are demanding £3448 within a week or they will proceed to court action. This balance is over £1000 more than the balance showing on my last statement from CCCS.

I am aware that I need to let my creditors know where I am living now, but am so ashamed and scared that debt collectors and bailiffs might turn up at my gfs parents house.

They will not let me stay with no income and this added bother.

I feel so lost and don't know where to start.

To make matters worse, I am attending the funeral tomorrow of a friend who commited suicide to escape his debt troubles.

I can't cope anymore.

I want to repay my debt, but some of these companies are so impossible to speak to over the phone (either aggresive or based in Mumbai) Also I don't know which debts are with my original creditors or with management companies.

I don't even know if I have CCJs or court orders against me, as like I said, I havnt updated my address.

Please offer me advice of where to start and what to do. I want to be debt free and I know I will not make the mistakes of the past.

Please also be delicate with me, I know I have been foolish and selfish, I just need help.

Many Thanks in advance,

Kindest Regards
:(:(

NorthernLas

OP: There is no problem without a solution. What has happened has happened.

It is good that you are with CCCS, can you phone them up and explain your situation? They will be able to give you advice as to what to do.
You can write a letter to stop DCA calling at the house.
What sort of work can you do - are there agencies that will give you temporary work? You need to make the best of your skills and highlight that you are immediately available and enthusiastic.

If one DCA has located you, the reality is that others will locate you as well. That's why I think speaking to CCCS is your first step, to see if they can hold your DMP until your position is clearer. If you have defaulted on your DMP by a couple of months, you are unlikely to have CCJs yet.

How long have you been in a DMP with CCCS?

scottswald

i feel for you mate, i really do...

may i ask if you are trying to find work at the moment?

the first step is to contact all of your creditors and explain your siruation and request a balance, apr and minimum payment for every account you have.

you also need to check which have ccj on them...

best of luck, ther is lots of help on this board!!!!

ayupmiduck1

Thanks for your reply.

I contacted CCCS who just told me to contact them again when my circumstances change.

I have been for 2 interviews, but I come across as so nervous its ridiculous.

I literally can't see a way out. Im so ashamed

epsilondraconis

First thing to do is check your credit file.

You can do this for free. See below:

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/credit-rating-credit-score

ayupmiduck1

I can't even call my creditors as my phone is barred from calling 0845,0870 and even 0800 numbers due to non payment.

I would write, but don't know how to get my point across without emotion as i know i should be objective.

I feel like I need to sit down with someone to guide me through step by step.

My biggest fear is losing my partner who has stood by me through so much !!!!.

I can't bear having collection agencies knocking on her parents door.

They have never taken on any debt other than a mortgage and are very proud of that fact.

I feel so useless.

podperson

Sounds like you are having a lousy time at the moment *hugs*
Could start by writing out to your creditors, explain that you have no income at the moment and can't afford to the make the payment (can you afford to make a £1 token payment to them? if you can include it but if you can't you can't, simple as).
Are you looking for work at the moment? Try agencies and part-time work even if it's not ideal it could see you through for now. Regarding housing benefit, since you aren't related to your girlfriend's parents you are technically just renting a room from them. Could be worth maybe asking them to draw up a tenancy agreement and then you could apply for housing benefit. Would be a small amount coming in but if you had something to contribute to bills and food might feel a little better. Also if you are waiting for a decision on benefits could try applying for a crisis loan.

Hannah_10

Would it help you if I do you a letter Ayup so you can just fill the blanks in and get it in the post?

NorthernLas

OP: Is there a CAB near? They may be able to provide face to face help - but you may have to wait for an appointment.

Is there a landline that you can use, either at your GF or somewhere else (like at the CAB)? For 0800 numbers. Personally, I wouldn't phone your creditors. You need to update them of the situation but not by phone.
There is a standard letter that you can send to DCAs, so you do not need to compose anything.

Look at http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/debt_advice.php#6 and search for the letter 'Ask your creditors to accept a token or no payment'

ayupmiduck1

Northern Las - I have been on a DMP since August 09 i think. They have put my DMP on hold.

Hannah - it would help, but I don't want to put you out of your way.

Podperson - I haver nothing

Will my credit file detail ccjs? If I have them and have been ordered to pay but havn't then surely the bailiffs can just come round.

I have no assets, I own a TV and a desktop PC (approximatly 5 years old and not worth much) and a bed.

I was thinking of bankruptcy, but I don't have £750. Also I have nothing to show for my debt, alot of it was squandered (including booze and gambling) this will be considered reckless? what happens then?

I am not work shy and i'm excellent at sales. For some reason just not in an interview situation.

I am grieving for my friend too, and tomorrow is going to be horrible. I want to be stronger than him, but i'm struggling.

mrLazy

Take a deep breath. You are alive and well. You have a girlfriend and somewhere to stay.

Why do you need £750 to go bankcrupt? Go and speak to citizens advice then listen to what they say. Be very carefull of ANY debt management company. You need to look at your finances and work out if you are better off to go bankrupt or to try to pay. You may well be better of going bankrupt. Citizens advice should help you go through your finances.

Don't get stressed and don't take it personally. Look at the cold hard figures. Once you have facts in place and get advice from someone impartial(DONT SPEAK TO ANYONE WHO MAKES MONEY FROM YOU). Once you have a plan you have a road out.

There are many things you can do without money. Don't sit on your bum fealing sorry for yourself. You can trade skills you have for things in places like gumtree. I am not saying you turn yourself into a new age hippie but have a look at the guy at justfortheloveofit org who lives without money.

If you are living with the girlfriends parents make sure you are the best boyfriend ever. Also cut the grass, vacum and tidy up. Make them think having you around is great.

The second problem you have here is managing your stress. It might help you to get out and relax. As money is your source of stress you will want to do for free. Luckly there is lots or relaxing things to do for free. Once you have contacted CAB or phones the debt line thing above. Look at things you can do for free in your area. Perhaps take you girlfriend out for free somewhere. Indian Head massage is very good for stress I have seen students on Gumtree looking for (free) voluteers lots of times. You can also get free haircuts for your interviews.

If you tell me what city you are in I could find you free things. I am an expert at free