Unsure of what to do or say about him moving in

bluezone

Hi there,

My new fella is lovely. I am renting on my own and we are smitten with each other. He is renting from his parents but spends 5 out of 7 nights staying at mine - I dont mind this at all by the way. He has a few clothes at mine but not alot as the rest are at his parents. He hasnt paid me any rent as such cos he hasnt officially moved in but he does pay for and pack my lunch up everyday for work and cooks for me everynight as he is home before me. He buys all the food for this as I only have ham, cheese and milk in my fridge!

Anyway yesterday he said that his dad asked him how much rent he was giving me and he replied 'none' and his dad asked why not as he basically lives with me anyway. He then said to me thaat we should have a proper chat about it.

I said to him when I first moved in that he was welcome to move in with me but I was not trying to pressurize him to do so just because I was renting somewhere on my own and he said he knew what I meant.

We have been seeing each other for a few months now.

My divorce decree nisi is almost here from my terrible marriage.

Obviously I dont want to get into debt ever again and am managing to stay in my budget but..... when we talk about it and he moves in should I get something drawn up to show exactly what half the bills are? I trust him to pieces I just dont want to be asking for money ffrom him all the time if I forgot to add soemthing in the budget.

Sorry if my post is a bit garbled.

freda

From a purely financial point of view, the costs don't have to go up that much if he does move in. Bills that may increase would be:

Food - although I'm convinced that feeding two isn't double the cost of feeding one, probably because I include cleaning stuff etc in my groceries budget, and that doesn't change.

Water bills - if you are metered, these may rise a bit

Council tax - you'll lose the single person's discount

Phone bills - up if he likes to talk on the phone, down if your relationship was previously based on long phone calls!

Going out / ents - up to you if these rise or fall. Staying in for romantic meals is just as nice as going out, but you may find that you go out more? Depends on your lifestyle and budget.

Clothes/haircuts - will rise as one more person

Presents - you'll have to buy things for his family too now!

Travel costs - depends if you work near each other and can car share, in which case costs wouldn't change?

....but apart from that, I don't see that you would be worse off combining two salaries and living together at all, in fact you'd probably be better off. I think the best way to do it (although different things suit different people) is to set up a joint account, with enough going in from both of you to cover all the essential bills and direct debits, and a fixed amount to savings each month. The remainder of your salaries is yours to spend/save/pay off debts.

However, you've only been seeing each other for a couple of months, moving in together is a big step! You may want to delay the joint account thing for a while, just let him know what bills are coming in and split them on a month by month basis?

Good luck!

bluezone

freda wrote:

From a purely financial point of view, the costs don't have to go up that much if he does move in. Bills that may increase would be:

Food - although I'm convinced that feeding two isn't double the cost of feeding one, probably because I include cleaning stuff etc in my groceries budget, and that doesn't change.

Water bills - if you are metered, these may rise a bit

Council tax - you'll lose the single person's discount

Phone bills - up if he likes to talk on the phone, down if your relationship was previously based on long phone calls!

Going out / ents - up to you if these rise or fall. Staying in for romantic meals is just as nice as going out, but you may find that you go out more? Depends on your lifestyle and budget.

Clothes/haircuts - will rise as one more person

Presents - you'll have to buy things for his family too now!

Travel costs - depends if you work near each other and can car share, in which case costs wouldn't change?

....but apart from that, I don't see that you would be worse off combining two salaries and living together at all, in fact you'd probably be better off. I think the best way to do it (although different things suit different people) is to set up a joint account, with enough going in from both of you to cover all the essential bills and direct debits, and a fixed amount to savings each month. The remainder of your salaries is yours to spend/save/pay off debts.

However, you've only been seeing each other for a couple of months, moving in together is a big step! You may want to delay the joint account thing for a while, just let him know what bills are coming in and split them on a month by month basis?

Good luck!

Thanks for your reply, I think it would probably be best to just split the bills each month. The house i rent is my sisters but we had a legal rent agreement drawn up. Due to be being bankrupt not maany letting agencies want to rent youa property.

I have been putting aside the ful amount for the council tax as my sisters name is on oit as well so thatshouldnt add much each month.

We do seem to be staying in much more cos before I was at my parents and he was at his (we both had to move back home after rekationships/marriage!) so having my place we can stay in.

I think a lot to talk about soon!

bluezone

I think THAT chat is gonna be tonight as he just phoned - we were invited to a BBQ but he has declined because he said he has planned something for us tonight.....