Secret debt

happycamel_2

Hi Lucy, well done for talking to him and for making the decision to sort everything out.

Now I want you to do me (and yourself) 3 favours
1) cut up your credit cards
2) both of you write down how you feel now about the debt as if you were writing a letter to yourself in the future. Keep the letter. Any time you are tempted to borrow money read the letter to yourself. Otherwise, keep it locked away. Forgive yourself but don't forget.
3) Get an SOA on here so we can help you cut down your spending, work out what to pay off first and advise you on how to make money out of what you've bought.

Lyndzzz

Hi Lucy

You need to be super duper brave hun and come clean. I was in a similar position to you a few years back and i thought i was in control - but i really wasnt. As a couple we were in debt and my husband was talikng about an IVA, so thats when i had to come clean. but to be honest it was the best thing that could of happened. It will be so tough for a while, and he might hate you a little bit - as mine did, i think. And the arguments and the general pain and heartache lasted for weeks. it was a really grim time, but we are getting thru it and we are definately stronger as a couple now. We contacted CCCS ( def recommend before embarking on IVA) and we have gone from oweing (sp?) 20 odd grand to about 10 now. So we have still got a long way to go, but are general attitude to money and credit etc is so much better and this in turn is helping us throw more at the debt we owe.

I am waffling a bit now, but it will certainly be better in the long run Lucy - but be prepared for a tough ride. Debt and creditors are nasty things - but when you can start to see that light at the end of the tunnel, the relief is immense.

Good Luck xx

barbiedoll

Oh Lucy, I'm glad you got it off your chest and told him. They say a problem shared is a problem halved (even if the debt is doubled ) but at least you can both work on a way forward. As the other posters said, he is no debt-free angel himself as I'm sure he is aware but at least you are now working together to sort things out. If you get a chance, do post your Statement of Affairs on here, you'll get lots of help and advice on how to cut down. And definitely cut up the credit cards. My OH always said that he liked having thousands of pounds of credit available in case of an emergency. We cut ours up a few months ago and we're still here. Albeit with a dead boiler, falling down shed, tempramental cooker etc, etc. But we are saving hard to replace things that we need, we're not buying now and paying later any more. I could cry at the amount of debt that we're having to pay back because of credit cards and loans but I've done with the crying and now I'm looking forward. CCCS have been saviours in our DFW journey, they will find a way out of this mess for you, one way or another. Good luck to both of you, and well done for 'fessing up xx :T

andrea1968_2

You've taken a massive step and its completely in the right direction. Well done on telling him and hopefully you can worry about things together but more importantly sort them out together.
Good luck to you both

Aspiration

You sound like you've given yourself a kicking and you've felt really bad that you've let your husband down which is good, but time to move on. Good luck in really making inroads to your debt as a team, you've shown alot of courage to tell him though so well done!!!!

property.advert

Time to fess up and get it all out in the open.

bottleofred

Hi Lucy,

Well done on getting it all out in the open.
Good luck in becoming debt free and I hope things work out for you

Nargleblast

Well done Lucy!!!!! I bet you feel so much better now it's out in the open. From now on things can only improve for you both. Your journey to debt freedom has started, come and join us on this site - there are various threads you might want to subscribe to. The No spend day thread, the Notice to Newcomers thread, Grocery challenges, Threads on the old style forum, debt managemwent mutual support thread .....the possibilities are endless. Your light bulb is on, now keep it shining and don't be afraid to come back for any advice and support you might need.

lucy2158

Just applied for Nationwide Flex account online really easy and straight forward got excepted refused the overdraft offered :T.
Next step speak to payplan and cccs about an IVA starting to feel like I am getting my life back in order, a long way to go but the first step is always the biggest :eek:

lucy2158

Nargleblast wrote: »

Well done Lucy!!!!! I bet you feel so much better now it's out in the open. From now on things can only improve for you both. Your journey to debt freedom has started, come and join us on this site - there are various threads you might want to subscribe to. The No spend day thread, the Notice to Newcomers thread, Grocery challenges, Threads on the old style forum, debt managemwent mutual support thread .....the possibilities are endless. Your light bulb is on, now keep it shining and don't be afraid to come back for any advice and support you might need.

Thank you so much for your advice and support these few days have been the hardest of my life and it is great to have somewhere to come and let it all out