Teenagers mental health issue....advice please.

xxdeebeexx

Hi a few years ago DS1 had a nasty accident and as a result of that had flshbacks, disturbed sleep, angry outbursts and a number of other symptoms. The accident seemed to rob him of his 'innocents' such that he now realised that accidents can happen dispite being careful. Over the past 6 months or so, these anxieties have evolved and are now focused on me, his Mum. He is terrified that some one will hurt me if I go out on my own, and , as a result he will go everywhere I go so that he can protect me. He seems to be Ok when he is at school as I imagin he is distracted.

We have been to the Dr and she diagnosed Post Traumatic Stress and has put us in touch with the local mental health department. We have an appointment on Monday. I am now very worried as MENTAL HEALTH issues just scream out the page to me and make me wonder if I am doing the right thing.
Will he be labeled?
Will he have to declare that he has had mental health issues?
Will it make it difficult for him to get a job?

I don't see this as a mental health issue... just a 14 year old boy that has had a nasty fright and lost his confidence and now needs to work through the healing process.

Any advice please?

TIA

Dx

kathy206

Hi OP -Firstly can I just say PLEASE don't worry that your son will be labelled.The MH team can put your son in touch with specialist counsellors who can work through his anxieties and help him understand the reasons he is feeling the way he is. You are doing the right thing by acknowledging your son needs help with how he is feeling after his accident and by enabling him to get the help he needs. You and he have already taken that important first step- the trip to the GP- and I applaud the GP for recognising your son's condition and referring him promptly for the correct support. Put a different slant on it- if your son had a long term skin complaint that wasn't getting better, would you not want him seeing by a specialist to sort it out? Mental health problems are treatable, just the same as physical problems, however in the same way if left untreated or undetected can get much worse. Good luck to you and your son, he's lucky he has a mother who is as concerned for his well being as you are xx:A Best wishes , Kathy:)

MatyMoo

Didn't want to read and run but this isn't something I know a lot about.

Mental Health in the medical sense covers a whole host of areas so I wouldn't worry too much until you have had the first appointment. This could just be like a triage session to see exactly what help he needs to rebuild his confidence. Sometimes just talking to someone helps, especially if they are not emotionally involved.

You really are doing the right thing getting him the help he needs.

Velcro_Hotdog

Don't panic

Metal Health departments do a lot more than meets the eye and it doesn't mean your sons going to be thrown in the looney bin. Mental health covers a whole host of problems not just the nutters that like stabbing and shooting for fun.

Relax take him along for a chat and see what they say. i'm sure they will give you a full explination of there role if you ask them.

Fang_3

Well I suppose you could always ignore it and he wouldn't get the help he needs and then he would never be able to live a 'normal' life. You need to put your own prejudices aside and allow him to be given the help that he needs. Is there any reason that it's taken you years to get him help? Did he have any counselling at the time of the accident? Or has it been slowly building up?

rubytuesday

Definitely go to your GP and ask for a referral to Children and Family Therapy Services. They will meet with you both and work out the best way forward.

ailuro2

If he had a broken leg would you not let him go get it fixed?

Mental Health issues are faced by at least one in three of us at one point. Just as a percentage of us will face cancer at some point in our lives, so we must, unfortunately face up to facts and realise how widespread mental health issues are.
The more we talk openly about them, the more we will realise they are everyday illnesses lots of us are susceptible to, then more of us will know how to deal with family members who have health issues in an understanding manner.

I'm not suggesting for a minute that you've said your son can't go for treatment because he'll be branded a nutter, but their is an element of this in your post. It really isn't good for a 14yo to worry so much when they already have so many other hormonal changes to be coping with.

Something bad happened to him and now he needs help. There is no shame in it, he will gain something from a bit of help, and so will the rest of the family. He is not an adult so why would it need to be declared on any future CV? Besides, explaining he had an accident and overcame it would be seen as a strong thing to do, surely?



Please let your son go and talk things through with someone who knows how to help him, it looks like it's gone on for years untreated which, imho, is leaving him more at risk of ongoing problems than if you let a professional talk it through and help him to make sense of the way he feels about something happening to you.

Hope it all works out OK for all of you.;)

Sharra

I agree with ailuro - try not to worry, it does sound like he has a mental health issue and he needs to get some help with it. If these kind of problems are just 'coped with' then they have a nasty way of resurfacing years later - when they are a whole lot harder to deal with. Needing this kind of help is no reflection on him as a person (or you as a parent), and actually, although the stats are 1 in 3 having mental health problems, I'm sure in reality that there's a lot higher percentage of us could have used this kind of support at some time or another.

squashy

Just to inspire you, my brother was 18 when he had a number of major psychotic episodes and ended up being sectioned. He came out after a couple of months and continue with a course of medication, which he slowly weaned himself off over time. He is sensible enough to know if he starts to feel signs he is straight back to the GP to get things under control again, but this is now extremely rare. He is now working in mental health and will soon began a course which will enable him to qualify as a MH nurse! I know his case was very extreme but it goes to show that people can and do succeed afterwards.

Good luck to you and your son, you are doing the right thing x

heretolearn_2

Please put your prejudices away. Mental health issues are nothing to be ashamed of, any more than any other illness. If your son had been left with a physical problem, you wouldn't mind him getting treated for it.

I know it can seem scary if you haven't had any experience of these services before, but he DOES have a mental health issue (that doesn't mean he's 'mad'!) and he needs this help. With the help, he'll get over his problem. Without help, he'll get worse. Don't get hung up over the name of the service that is helping him.

It's not a 'label' and once he's over his issues, there's no reason to mention it to employers etc, any more than he would mention 'I broke my leg 10 years ago'. Stop getting in a tizzy and think about what's best for him. Don't let your imagination run away from you about what will happen and what his treatment will be. A teen in my family had in-patient mental health treatment and I thank god for it every time I see him now, perfectly healthy and fine. Without that treatment, I hate to think what state he would be in now...

Chakani

OP, I remember this being a concern for my dad many years ago, that he would be labelled and it would follow him forever (he suffered with anxiety and depression to a debilitating degree). I don't know whether there was any truth in it then, but there isn't now.

Before stopping work to become a SAHM, I did a job that was mentally and emotionally very challenging, and we had an in-depth and exhaustive interview process including a full medical before being employed. I have consulted my GP about depression several times, and have been on antidepressants more than once. My employers had full access to this information and still gave me the job, because they looked at what I was like at the time of the interview, not at my history. I think they consulted my GP, with my consent, to see if he thought I could cope with the pressure of the job, but I think this is unusual and specific to the very specialised job I did.

I think it would be far better for your son to access the help he needs now, rather than to suffer because of fearing prejudice.

I hope the road isn't too long for your son, and that he can move on to fully enjoying his life very soon.