Don't know what to do . . .

ironmysox

Well firstly, thank you all for your replies to my post. In answer to going2die_rich, I have one "3 Mobile" contract, but there are a lot of positive comments in what you typed . . . in my defence, if I was sat at home all day, living off JSA, playing games, smoking etc etc then yeh, I would need a HUGE kick up the !!! but unfortunately im recieving Incapacity Benefit, on medication with regular supervision from my GP for depression. I do want to get myself sorted, let my grandmother have a peaceful retirement, that is why I came here.

I have been in contact with CAB and have an appointment on Friday morning. I have requested up to date balances on all my loans and hopefully come friday, with help from the CAB and the moral support from all of you, I can start climbing out of this bloody hole .

Once again, thanks all and will keep you posted on my situation ;-)

angchris

in defence of going2die_rich im sure alot of people out there have this view, i have never suffered depression as such so dont really feel able to comment other than get yourself to the docs. you are a grown man and you need to make positive steps to get yourself out of the hole you have dug and im sure any positive steps even teeny little ones will help your confidance no end snowballing into bigger and better positive steps. its time now to be proactive to help yourself! best of luck and im pleased you have made the initial step and posted on here as im sure with our combined knowledge we can help you on your journey:D

Jessiepig

I have to say that up and till recently I always thought that depressed people should just pull themselves together and get on with life like the rest of us.
Until it hit me like a ton of bricks in February this year. Now fortunately I am not too bad and have managed without medication but it did involve reducing my hours at work and making small changes, But some days every now and then it catches me out and I cry for what seems no reason.
I do not think that anyone can judge depression unless they have been there themselves.
I hope you receive all the help you need and hopefully you will maybe able to make small steps ahead.

Dolly_Smith

another thing you could do is contact yr local mental health trust - their occupational therapy departments often have lots of intiatives on the go to help people with mental illnesses get back into the job market. I'm not sure if you would need a GP referral but you could certainly contact them to ask for advice and support

Cumbrian_Male

going2die_rich wrote:

You are unemployed and on benefits - YOU DON'T NEED 3 MOBILE CONTRACTS!

Cut out all other non essential items such as nights out, take aways, etc. and if need be sell anything you've wasted money on like fancy tv's, hi-fi's etc. Reducing your debt by even one or two thousand will really cut down on the interest you'll have to pay. These items are luxry items anyway that you can easily live without if needs be.

Unlike others here I don't think a sympathetic response is what you need. You need to get yourself a job, no doubt your depression and panic attacks are hindering this but until you get back to work your debts aren't going to disappear.

Declaring yourself bankrupt isn't going to stop you getting back into debt, you can't just sit on benefits living in your grandparents house all your life. I also believe it will impact your grans credit rating since you are living in her residence, not 100% sure about that but I believe it does effect others you are associated with so don't go running down that route without checking it.

Get up and go and look for work, even if it's just a few hours a day it'll give you something to focus on and the less free time you have the less you will worry about your loan. While you can't find work go out and go for jogs, walks etc, as no doubt you are most depressed when you are sitting at home and doing nothing. Offer to go and do your grans food shopping or tag along with her. Go and pay her bills for her at the post office, etc. It'll get you out and about and fill in time in your day. Obviously fit this in around finding work.

I have to say (easy to say not actually being in your shoes I know), but if it was me I'd get two jobs if needed to pay the loan off. So once you do have a job don't just sit back when you come home. Find another job to fit in, maybe at the weekend or on a few nights a week. A lot of single parents do this, therefore you can do it also and you don't have a child to worry about.

You are 37 years old, it's time to pull yourself together. Go out and look for work, even if it's just delivering leaflets, at least it's doing something.

Once you do pay your loans off I think you need to start paying your way, your grandmother has no doubt worked most of her life, I don't think she ever thought or planned on having to cover the costs of her grandson living with her when he was a 37 year old grown man. You should pay something towards the costs of her bills/food, etc while you are staying with her. So get your loans paid off and then you can make it that much easier for your gran. She needs to be enjoying her "quieter" time in life and can only really do that if you do soemthing about your life.

I know my comments aren't nice to hear, but I think even you know what you need to do, even before you posted this thread. I understand you might want someone to turn to and have some advice, but you need to start making the steps forward if you really do want to get rid of these loans you have.

I hope you see my comments as a kick up the backside to get going and not as a put down. I read the other comments before posting this and thought you need something a bit more than the councelingcharity route of seeking help, hence the go and do it comments!

I hope you do manage to get yourself back into work and get rid of them loans.

Spoken like a person who has no !!!!!!!' idea or first hand experience of depression.

I sincerely hope you never find out what it is like.

Chris

If you are receiving proper medical advice then great but has your GP just written a prescription or are you having counselling aswell.

Don't just accept tablets push for a referral if you feel you need more help than you are receiving.

Best wishes

ironmysox

Hia, just to let you know that after a long 4hr wait at my local CAB office, they were too understaffed to see me so i'm to try again tuesday.

In response to the question about my GP and the counselling, I asked about this and he wasn't overly helpful. He jotted down a few numbers of fairly local services that would require a fee for their services but that was it.

Im trying to locate some services close to me that can help without charging too much.

lynzpower

try adn speak with Mind.

I do know that many counsellors via GPs can only give a very small amount of sessions ( 3 in my local health area) which is barely time ot get started.

Mind will be able to recommend something for you I expect, if your GPS crap.

Move GPs as well, no point putting up with duff service

freda

Hia, just to let you know that after a long 4hr wait at my local CAB office, they were too understaffed to see me so i'm to try again tuesday.

Sorry, not read the whole thread in great detail, but other useful (and free) places you can try in the interim:

https://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk
https://www.cccs.co.uk
https://www.payplan.co.uk

Info about bankruptcy: https://www.kronos.moonfruit.com

Starry-eyed_surprise

Good luck for Tuesday Chris

msmicawber

Don't get disheartened about the postponed CAB appointment - it's just that there's so many people struggling with debt at the moment, let alone the other problems that the CAB help with. I had the same problem when I first contacted them. However, once my turn came, they spent a lot of time on and with me, which helped me enormously. Once the CAB have started helping you, things will begin to improve.

Depression brings terrible inertia and I think you're doing wonderfully to have got as far as you have already.