Don't know what to do . . .

PaulHick1975

Hi,

I agree with everything that has been said and you're not odd for constantly having money calculations going on in your mind.
I've found that it has affected my sleeping and a real weight on my shoulders . But you've made the 1st important step of wanting to change and move forward.

All the best.

Starry-eyed_surprise

Way to go Chris. Hope all goes well with you. I suspect that a lot of us here spend time obsessing with figures or we wouldnt be here, But the point is, when you reach this stage then that is a sign that things are definitely about to turn round because instead of burying our heads in the sand we are prepared to face up to it. That is the first step. And youy have just taken yours. Hope you have a good day

KatieKins

I can't offer as much advice as everyone else I am afraid, I don't know enough about it all, but grab a cuppa and a pen and paper and sit down and read through some of the threads on this forum - it will show you your not alone and you will definitely pick up a lot of excellent advice and ways to help you out. Good luck and just take each day as it comes, bit by bit you will be able to sort this out.

going2die_rich

You are unemployed and on benefits - YOU DON'T NEED 3 MOBILE CONTRACTS!

Cut out all other non essential items such as nights out, take aways, etc. and if need be sell anything you've wasted money on like fancy tv's, hi-fi's etc. Reducing your debt by even one or two thousand will really cut down on the interest you'll have to pay. These items are luxry items anyway that you can easily live without if needs be.

Unlike others here I don't think a sympathetic response is what you need. You need to get yourself a job, no doubt your depression and panic attacks are hindering this but until you get back to work your debts aren't going to disappear.

Declaring yourself bankrupt isn't going to stop you getting back into debt, you can't just sit on benefits living in your grandparents house all your life. I also believe it will impact your grans credit rating since you are living in her residence, not 100% sure about that but I believe it does effect others you are associated with so don't go running down that route without checking it.

Get up and go and look for work, even if it's just a few hours a day it'll give you something to focus on and the less free time you have the less you will worry about your loan. While you can't find work go out and go for jogs, walks etc, as no doubt you are most depressed when you are sitting at home and doing nothing. Offer to go and do your grans food shopping or tag along with her. Go and pay her bills for her at the post office, etc. It'll get you out and about and fill in time in your day. Obviously fit this in around finding work.

I have to say (easy to say not actually being in your shoes I know), but if it was me I'd get two jobs if needed to pay the loan off. So once you do have a job don't just sit back when you come home. Find another job to fit in, maybe at the weekend or on a few nights a week. A lot of single parents do this, therefore you can do it also and you don't have a child to worry about.

You are 37 years old, it's time to pull yourself together. Go out and look for work, even if it's just delivering leaflets, at least it's doing something.

Once you do pay your loans off I think you need to start paying your way, your grandmother has no doubt worked most of her life, I don't think she ever thought or planned on having to cover the costs of her grandson living with her when he was a 37 year old grown man. You should pay something towards the costs of her bills/food, etc while you are staying with her. So get your loans paid off and then you can make it that much easier for your gran. She needs to be enjoying her "quieter" time in life and can only really do that if you do soemthing about your life.

I know my comments aren't nice to hear, but I think even you know what you need to do, even before you posted this thread. I understand you might want someone to turn to and have some advice, but you need to start making the steps forward if you really do want to get rid of these loans you have.

I hope you see my comments as a kick up the backside to get going and not as a put down. I read the other comments before posting this and thought you need something a bit more than the councelingcharity route of seeking help, hence the go and do it comments!

I hope you do manage to get yourself back into work and get rid of them loans.

lynzpower

Going 2 die rich

Please, for heavens sake, if you have nothing nice ot say dont say anything at all. You sound angry & ranting, this is not helpful to anyone.

Im sure Chris means he has a contract with the mobile providr 3, not three seperate contracts.

Depression is a MEDICAL condition, would you tell someone with cancer to pull themselves together? Chris has ventured very little about his day to day life on here, and you are not in a position to judge until you have walked a mile in his shoes.

I recommend you retract your statement above and remember to BE NICE TO ALL MONEYSAVERS.

Anastacia

He has a 3 mobile phone contract not 3 mobile phone contracts.

Depression isnt like that going2die_rich. Thats like saying pull yourself togther & walk on your broken leg. Its just not always do-able. Baby steps are the answer i think, Ironmysox. Start making a few changes & things will improve and the upwards cycle can commence instead of the downwards one.

Good luck & welcome

Anastacia

oops, crossed with Lynz - agree with everything she says though.

bluezone

Ironmysox you have come to the right place - people on here are fantastic and have helped me through the rough times I too suffer from depression and it is blo*dy annoying to say the least as the lethargic feeling and sorry for yourself and crying for no reason gets to you.

You will find your light at the end of the tunnel xx

msmicawber

Dear Chris,

Just to echo Lynzpower's suggestion, when I was signed off work for depression and anxiety, I felt terrified at the thought that one day I'd have to return to work, but felt very cooped up and found myself on a downward spiral. I offered to help out at a local primary school reading with the Reception class children (4 year olds) as the teachers don't have enough time to read each day with each child. It helped give my day structure and purpose and built up my confidence gradually, so I can highly recommend it.

I also went to the CAB about my debts years ago and found them enormously helpful, not least because they took over the telephoning and writing to creditors for me and fought them for payments that I could actually afford as well as getting them to freeze the interest. If they think bankruptcy would be appropriate in your situation, then they will tell you so and assist you.

I notice from your SOA that your monthly payment to Telewest is very high. I use Primus Tel and get free evening and weekend calls. I also get Broadband from them for £12.99 per month. If I need to phone during the day, or call an 0870 number or mobile or abroad, then I use the access codes from https://www.discountdial.com to keep the call costs low. My monthly phone and internet bill (even with a 13 year old girl in the house) is about £15-6. I'd recommend that you look at the phones board for cheaper packages.

Very best wishes to you. My only other advice would be to try and do as much as possible on your good days and write down what you've done, so that you can read your list on your bad days.

I hope this helps a little.

LittleL_4

Hi Chris, first of all (((((((((hugs)))))))))

I'm 37 too, and suffered from depression after I studied intensely and stayed in a crap relationship etc.. Got to the stage I could'nt even write my name. I crashed and burned if you like... then I got into debt to pay the bills etc... I KNOW what you're going through and I want to help.

First of all, get yourself along to your GP.
If you don't want to take antidepressants (you may be already) if not, there is an amazing little tonic from health food stores called 'emergency essence'. It's fantastic and will ease those panick attacks quite considerably. Take this alongwith another herbal remedy called hypericum complex (natural antidepressant and other ingredients that will help) This is what I was prescribed by Van de Vries and I felt better within 5 days. They will cost £10 in total.

You can't tackle your debts until you feel better. I've just started a DMP and feel like I'm getting there. I think you should speak to them and find out your options. This in itself will give you a bit more clarity as to where to go.

And to 'goingtodie rich', I know you mean well, but depression, i believe is the worst condition to suffer from. If I had 4 broken limbs i'd have dealt with it so much better. To suggest taking on 2 jobs to Chris is just ludicrous! And i don't think he's staying with his gran through choice, probably more through circumstanaces.

Chris i wish you well, and please stay in touch and let us know how things are working out for you.

Take care
Little L
x

earwig

going2die_rich wrote:

You are unemployed and on benefits - YOU DON'T NEED 3 MOBILE CONTRACTS!

Cut out all other non essential items such as nights out, take aways, etc. and if need be sell anything you've wasted money on like fancy tv's, hi-fi's etc. Reducing your debt by even one or two thousand will really cut down on the interest you'll have to pay. These items are luxry items anyway that you can easily live without if needs be.

Unlike others here I don't think a sympathetic response is what you need. You need to get yourself a job, no doubt your depression and panic attacks are hindering this but until you get back to work your debts aren't going to disappear.

Declaring yourself bankrupt isn't going to stop you getting back into debt, you can't just sit on benefits living in your grandparents house all your life. I also believe it will impact your grans credit rating since you are living in her residence, not 100% sure about that but I believe it does effect others you are associated with so don't go running down that route without checking it.

Get up and go and look for work, even if it's just a few hours a day it'll give you something to focus on and the less free time you have the less you will worry about your loan. While you can't find work go out and go for jogs, walks etc, as no doubt you are most depressed when you are sitting at home and doing nothing. Offer to go and do your grans food shopping or tag along with her. Go and pay her bills for her at the post office, etc. It'll get you out and about and fill in time in your day. Obviously fit this in around finding work.

I have to say (easy to say not actually being in your shoes I know), but if it was me I'd get two jobs if needed to pay the loan off. So once you do have a job don't just sit back when you come home. Find another job to fit in, maybe at the weekend or on a few nights a week. A lot of single parents do this, therefore you can do it also and you don't have a child to worry about.

You are 37 years old, it's time to pull yourself together. Go out and look for work, even if it's just delivering leaflets, at least it's doing something.

Once you do pay your loans off I think you need to start paying your way, your grandmother has no doubt worked most of her life, I don't think she ever thought or planned on having to cover the costs of her grandson living with her when he was a 37 year old grown man. You should pay something towards the costs of her bills/food, etc while you are staying with her. So get your loans paid off and then you can make it that much easier for your gran. She needs to be enjoying her "quieter" time in life and can only really do that if you do soemthing about your life.

I know my comments aren't nice to hear, but I think even you know what you need to do, even before you posted this thread. I understand you might want someone to turn to and have some advice, but you need to start making the steps forward if you really do want to get rid of these loans you have.

I hope you see my comments as a kick up the backside to get going and not as a put down. I read the other comments before posting this and thought you need something a bit more than the councelingcharity route of seeking help, hence the go and do it comments!

I hope you do manage to get yourself back into work and get rid of them loans.

when some one is ill with depresson no matter how much they want to do somthing they cant they have to take small steps at a time one job would be a diffecult never mind two

it not that your comments are not nice to hear its just your comments are rubbish and dangerous to someone in a fragile state i only hope the op dosnt take what you said to heart

dont get me wrong if this was some benfit i dont want to work type person i coudnt agree with you more but this is someone who has an illness and your advice is not apropate for the op situation

i would suggest going back to there gp and see if they can get a coumity nurse to come round and help them achive there goals and i would also suggest that they get in touch with cccs or payplan regarding there debts