A Payment A Day - Part 9

Greenbynature

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.

It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way.

I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies.

'You actually understood and answered me. !'

'I got every word,' says the parrot.

'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.

'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.

You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy.

'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?'

'Actually, speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.

I'm especially good at ornithology.

You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.

'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.

You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'

The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by.

The parrot is sensational.

He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.

The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.

'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the UPS man.'

'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.

'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.

'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'

'Yes.

Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

'DUNNO?!? I got a h*rd-on, and fell off my perch.!'

Greenbynature

Paulgonnabedebtfree wrote: »

Everyone else here wants their sheets ironed.

I wouldn't mind some help in crumpling mine .

:rotfl::rotfl: I could send my dogs round if you like Paul???!

psychopathbabble wrote: »

It's very quiet this evening... are you all off having what is know as a 'life' or just watching reality tv and pretending?

:o Same as Flower I'm afraid! Watching x factor and I'm a celeb - with a bottle of wine and a chinese tho

Silaqui wrote: »

I'm still bored, Anyway I need to shut up now because I'm doing my own head in let alone everyone elses haha.

Well I offered to relieve your boredom by offering to do my housework yesterday and you didn't take me up on the offer - so yes I agree with you - shut up now :p:rotfl::cool:

Greenbynature

Evening all


Pad today is £5 cap1 and 48p jar pls


£5.48

Paulgonnabedebtfree

Nice jokes Green (both of them)

Greenbynature

Paulgonnabedebtfree wrote: »

Nice jokes Green (both of them)

:D Thank you

angelicmary85

Paulgonnabedebtfree wrote: »

Everyone else here wants their sheets ironed.

I wouldn't mind some help in crumpling mine .

I'll crumple your sheets if you crumple mine?

psychopathbabble

angelicmary85 wrote: »

I'll crumple your sheets if you crumple mine?

I think you've had your sheets quite crumpled enough!

nickynoo08

Evening everyone,

Sorry i've been mia again been a bit hectic around here. Still been making my weekly pads and throwing all my shrapnel in my pad tin:A. Anyhoo we've had a bit of good news. OH has been given a promotion at work and we've agreed anything he gets paid over his current wage will go towards clearing our loan and wont be loads more a month but it should bring our dfd to next xmas which would be amazing. Just so glad OH is now fully onboard the mse wagon, this time last year he thought i was totally bonkers paying money every day to our debt, now he's decided he wants us to be totally mortgage free by the time i'm 40 and hes 42 (im currently 29). Do ya think he's caught the mse bug?:D

angelicmary85

psychopathbabble wrote: »

I think you've had your sheets quite crumpled enough!

It didn't happen in the bed, it was at the top of the stairs

psychopathbabble

angelicmary85 wrote: »

It didn't happen in the bed, it was at the top of the stairs

Were you secretly trying to push him down them?! Oops...