Potentially messy divorce

sylvia9121

Hi there

I really am at my wits end.. I need some advice please.

I have been with my husband 9 years, married 2 years in August...I have 2 children with him ages 8 and 3.

I found out 3 weeks ago that he has been sneaking out of the house, whilst I was asleep to meet up with another woman... he has now left the family home.

He initially wanted me to sell the property and we could split the equity (Approx 20k each) and he expected me to private rent with my money.
I have been to the council and they have advised that because I would have sold the house, I would be making myself intentially homeless and therefore would not get housed...

I went to a solicitor who advised that I would be able to have all the equity in the property (or most) if the house was sold... or I could ask him to sign it over to me..

He wont sign it over to me, I cant get legal aid... I cant afford solicitors ... I just dont know what to do...

My head is all over the place..

deedee71

Why can't you get legal aid? Even if you can't, having proper legal advice is a worthwhile investment. You must protect your home for your children's sake.

RAS

Hi

Your starting point is to prevent the situation getting messy re debts.

1. If you have any joint accounts, make sure he cannot strip them out - all debtis need both signatures.
2. Go to www.entitledto.com and see if you can get help with housing and living costs, they will pay the interest on the mortgage. Get claims in quickly.
3. MAke sure you talk to your mortgage supplier.
4. Unless he is paying you 20% of his take home pay now, get hold of CSA. (or threaten to).

Then start divorce action - unreasonable behaviour re his behaviour with the other party. You can name her. Legally, you can actually bill her for your divorce costs, but never heard of it being done.
You can download the court papers yourself and do most of it with a bit of help.
You can DIY on this bit, but get helpwioth the divorce settlement as that is when the money is settled.

KME91

check your household insurance for legal cover, you may be able to use this to pay solicitors fees.

mackemdave

KME91 wrote: »

check your household insurance for legal cover, you may be able to use this to pay solicitors fees.

Id eat hay with a donkey if this statement was correct.....

justjohn

mackemdave wrote: »

Id eat hay with a donkey if this statement was correct.....

ill join you

Get legal advice, verify your legal aid entitlement
Tell other half as little as possible change locks

minimoneysaver

He can't make you move out of the marital home, but if he's gone from his own accord then I would stay put if I were you. Why should you make it easier on him? He's made his bed (with another woman), now he can go and lie in it!

Mrs_justjohn

4 years ago I separated from my ex(husband), initially I just went through the yellow pages and found a solicitor that offered 30 mins 'free advice'. I phoned him and asked what my legal position was re, house, kids etc....(probably the same Q's you have). He advised me that hubby can not force you out of the house and shares the responsibility for paying the mortgage all the while his name is on it. He also pointed out that it is rarely in the hubbies interest to force the sale of a house unless there is a large amount of equity in it. As generally whomever has custody of the children will get from the equity whatever portion she needs to 'maintain the childrens quality of life' and the husband gets what is left over.

So for example if the house is worth £250K and there is a £100K mortgage = £150K equity.

If there are 2 kids that currently have a bedroom each it is reasonable that the parent with custody would need a 3 bed house. If a 3 bed house in your area costs £170K and you can only get a mortgage for £40K then you would get £130K of the equity to enable you to maintain your childrens standards of living.

Of course that is a simplified version and there are often other complications...joint accounts, debts, other assets...etc....

My Ex did not believe me when I told him what the solicitor had said but when he phoned for his '30 mins free' he was told the same thing. In the end we worked the sums out for ourselves and I just paid him what we agreed he would be likely to get IF he forced the sale and I kept the house...fortunately I could afford the mortgage.....


I guess after that ramble what I am trying to say is get advice.....get your hubby to get advice too and hopefully he will be told the same. Oh and sort out all the other practicalities like WFTC and single occupancy council tax relief....etc...

Also - what makes you think you can not get legal aid?...Equity in the house does not stop you getting legal aid as it is not 'liquid cash' - if the house ends up being sold and you then have access to that liquid cash you may have to pay retrospectively but it should not stop you getting it in the first instance....

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

justjohn wrote: »

ill join you

Get legal advice, verify your legal aid entitlement
Tell other half as little as possible change locks

Don't change the locks as he can legally break in to the property if he owns half of it.

sylvia9121

Thank you all, I have had a very busy time of it.. the latest is that he cant pay half mortgage and afford to live... so I have suggested taking over the mortgage on my own IF he signs the house and deeds over to me... Does anyone know how easy it is to do this? How much would it cost etc...

Thanks

RAS

Will your mortgage provider aLLOW YOU TO TAKE ON THE WHOLE MORTGAGE?

Checfk out hypno06's thread on the debt free diaries.