In need of a virtual kick up the backside...how many more LBMs will it take? :(

daviesalie_2

I'm sitting here adding on my minimum payments AND DEBITS to my snowball three months on from what I thought was THE light bulb moment. Wrong again!

What's wrong with me??? I know what I should be doing but I always manage to talk myself out of the sensible option :mad:

My goal is to pay off my debts and save a deposit for a house by November 2014 when I should be in a position to get a mortgage, but at this rate it'll be more like 2024.

My recent lapses are, for example, coming up with the bright idea of paying for my shopping on my lowest interest card then paying the money off the highest interest card, a sort of balance transfer without the fee. Great in theory but then I found myself a bit short that week and didn't pay it off the higher interest card, therefore increasing my debt by 75 quid. Another example would be popping to Tesco for some socks for the baby and coming out with socks, a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt for my older son and 3 t-shirts FOR NEXT YEAR for the baby. They were in the sale, but still, if I'd paid that off the cards the interest saved would probably be more than what I'd saved in the sale.

I've worked out budget after budget and all are do-able but I can never stick to them for longer than a week or two...something always crops up, a school trip, new pair of school shoes, etc, etc. I even budget for this type of thing, but I end up on an unplanned trip to TESCO and buying something I don't really need, borrowing (but never putting back) from the savings account.

Does anyone else have a battle with their demons like this? I can cope with the battles, it's the losing that's really getting to me!

Sorry for rambling...I'm in desperate needs of some tips to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Thanks for reading

LilacPixie

Constantly.

I have no solution I'm afraid. I do budget after budget keep spending diarys. I know where the money goes to but seem to have no control in stoping it going there.

I think you need to be realistic. You have cleared £900 is from your debt total if your siggy is correct and that is great. sure it could be better but you are reducing debt so lets do baby steps from now on. Pay cash/debit card fr shopping and stop jiggling balances. Do you min payments at start of month/pay day then add to them if under budget on a particular day. Maybe save a small incidental amount each month to cover bust school trousers, trips, treats.

I am the last person on earth to give you advice but the above is helping me spend a bit less and pay down that little bit more although I am far from prefect.

daviesalie_2

Thanks Lilacpixie, its good to know I'm not alone!

I think a daily budget is the way to go for me now. My monthly budget's certainly not working. A month is a long time! And rather than setting a certain amount for spending I'll try to anticipate what might come up each month and put it aside. I think part of the reason for failing is that as soon as I slip up once, I just think 'Oh sod it!' and carry on spending like a crazy fool!

DFW is a long hard road!

daviesalie_2

I've also amended my sig after my 'little slip ups'!!

LilacPixie

It certainly is. I removed my figures from my sig as they disappointed me alot.

Hannah_10

Ask yourself, what are you spending for? Really? Because you're doing it to meet some sort of emotional need in you or you wouldn't keep coming back to it. If you can find what the need was then you can start thinking about meeting it in another way and overspending wont keep sucking you into it's little trap.

determined_new_ms

yes it took me 2 years after my lightbulb moment to really start cclearing my debt. Its been a constant learning curve, but each time I fell off the horse I got right back on again. No point in beating urself up over things you can't change. Just keep going. I find definately stopping and thinking whether I want or need something helps. Whereas ebfore I would think if it doesn't fit I'll take it back... Try not going out with your purse or onlytaking a couple f quid out with you if you need to get baby socks. Its really hard at times but with determination you'll get there x

GeorgieFTB

My tip is to sign up for a challenge. Crazy clothes, no spend days, grocery challenges, any that you think would help, sign up to a doable target, then keep posting it should help, helps me at least stay on the straight and narrow.

Gx

daviesalie_2

Hannah_10 wrote: »

Ask yourself, what are you spending for? Really? Because you're doing it to meet some sort of emotional need in you or you wouldn't keep coming back to it. If you can find what the need was then you can start thinking about meeting it in another way and overspending wont keep sucking you into it's little trap.

Where do I start! I suppose the initial one would be the disappointment in myself for getting myself into this situation in the first place. Then there's the green eyed monster and the inferiority complex. Its all a viscous circle, spending to make myself feel better about all the spending I've done in the past. Madness!! I don't know where to start to reconcile this in my head though. Everything costs money!! :mad:

foxgloves

Instead of beating yourself up, think about that deposit on a house and how good that will feel to be finding somewhere nice to buy and what you can do with it. It's ultimately your choice....you can choose not to stick yo your budget & your house deposit take a lot longer, or you can stick to it (we all have a little slip now & again, they just need to be occasional instead of the norm...) and be a homeowner. One of the things that brought on my LBM a few years ago was the realisation that frittering my money away on lots of smallish-medium stuff meant I was just setting myself up not to achieve any of the bigger things I'd like to do. When you are off to queue up at the check-out with 10 things when you went in for one pair of socks (or whatever), tell yourself you have a choice & that the extra money you are about to spend will be a bit more to find for that deposit. It is difficult if you've been a spender, I know that, but you do have a choice & after a while, you start to find that not spending becomes a habit just like spending used to be.

mardatha

Leave the cards in the drawer !! Take out some housekeeping cash and when its gone then do without