The young getting married

geri1965_2

My auntie got pregnant at 15 and married my uncle when she was 16. I'm not sure how old she is now but I reckon they must have been married for about 35 years.

specsappeal

well I met my DH when i had just turned 16. He asked me to marry him every year without fail but i said that i would only say yes when i was 100% sure that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We married when i was 24. We have now been together 21 years and still going strong.
However my 17 year old son asked me this week if i would allow him to get married to his girlfriend of 1 year. I basically said that if they were serious about each other then there was no harm in waiting 5 or 6 years before tying the knot. Even though i met and am still with DH since the age of 16 i think that it is such a young age for such a big commitment.

MrsBartolozzi

In answer to the poll question - We can't stop them!They can marry at 16.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't be concerned if my DS2 (DS1 is 18 so too old re the poll) said he wants to get married in 3 years. When I was a teenager I knew exactly what I wanted and knew everything about everything (!) and I see that my two boys have an element of that too, it's the way with teens - they think they are immortal. Obviously now, I know I knew very little about the world back then, but if you'd tried to tell me I'd have just dug my heels in deeper and so I think to some extent we must let the youth make their own mistakes, that's how they will learn. Is there a whole lot of difference between moving in together at 16, and getting married? - at least getting married shows some sort of commitment.

Anyhoo I have a friend who got married, pregnant, at 16 and she and her husband are still together 23 years later, whereas some 30-somethings friends marriages have dissolved after 3 years or so.
I imagine a 16year old bride/groom would be looked at in a different way when they divorce at 19 to the 35 year old divorcee after the same period of marriage. Maybe this shows we still see our teens as less than adults, and yet at 16 they can be fully employed taxpayers leading responsible lives.

tiamai_d

Chakani wrote: »

I don't know anyone whose relationship has survived from the age of 16, I know several who got together at 18 and are still together, and many more who met in their early twenties who are still happily together. On that basis alone I would ask them to wait a couple of years, as people change so much so quickly at that age, I would rather they wait to see how they both change before making a permanent commitment.

DH and I (I had just turned 16 he was 19), my two friends (both from 14 years old!), a cousin of mine and a few other friends of friends.

I would try and make them wait, but I'd rather they married with my blessing if they were determined to do it than alienate them because of it. I voted no because I would try and stop it, but I'd cave eventually.

sassy_one

You can refuse to allow your 16 year old consent to marry, however they can apply to a court for a waiver allowing them to marry, if they can show the judge they are serious and adult minded.

Not only that, if they really wanted to they could go to Scottish Boarders and marry without ANY consent besides there own, of course!

I personally, think if two people really love each other and are happy, they should be free to marry.

Life is too short, we miss to many chances on things and we need to grab what we can when we can, that includes are happiness.

I would allow it for my child, if I knew and could see they were happy and had thought it through.
Many 16 year olds are now a lot wiser than 20 year olds!!

Ladyhawk

I certainly would not give my concent for my (imaginary) child to get married at 16. I was at a wedding last weekend and the bride was 23 and I thought that was too young!!

Yes I know it can work very occassionally, but what's the harm in waiting a few years? Finishing your education and maybe travelling a bit?

pinknfluffy0

sassy-one wrote: »

Many 16 year olds are now a lot wiser than 20 year olds!!

Haha really?

thorsoak

I wonder why it is, in today's society, that people get far more worked up about 16 year-olds talking about committing themselves to marriage than they do about the vast number of 14 and 15 year olds having casual sex affairs without commitment?

Healthwise, that has to be far more worrying.

JBD

I would advise my 16-17 year old to wait until 18, but probably wouldn't withhold consent if they were really determined. I think that would remove that 'romantic' element of eloping to Gretna Green.TBH, I can't really see why young adults of this age would want to get married nowadays, as they can usually be together if they so wish [barring some cultural/religious minorities.]
If they chose to marry at 18? Obviously their choice, I would try to support them.

pinknfluffy0

thorsoak wrote: »

I wonder why it is, in today's society, that people get far more worked up about 16 year-olds talking about committing themselves to marriage than they do about the vast number of 14 and 15 year olds having casual sex affairs without commitment?

Healthwise, that has to be far more worrying.

Believe you me I find it worrying.