Could anyone critique my listing please.

Johnny_English_5

Good afternoon all, I've lurked here a while but this is my first post.

I sell a few odds and ends on ebay (nothing to make me a business) and I tend to use a pretty standard format and simply copy and past (with different item details).

I've been reasonably successful, but I wonder if it could be better.

Is there anything that puts your off or any points I may have missed?

Many thanks in advance

Here we have a 100% original handmade Persian Rug.
It was bought by a friend in a Tehran Bazaar in 1979.
It measures 82 x 36 inches excluding the fringes.
This rug has never been used as flooring. It has spent its life so far as a wall hanging.
The colours are bright and clear but the rug would benefit from a good clean.
There is some minor fraying at the unfringed edges. This could be easily tidied up by someone who knows what they're doing.
This is a rare opportunity to own a 100% GENUINE handmade Persian Rug in VERY GOOD condition.
The shipping is expensive due to the weight of the rug. I welcome personal collection if this helps you.
I must admit that I know very little about rugs so I've simply listed what the original owner told me about it - I have no reason to doubt any of it.

Check out my other items (link removed)

A few notes to make our transaction easier and friendlier.

I’m not a dealer, I’m simply selling a few unwanted items found during my all too infrequent (according to Mrs. Gunner) clear outs.

I don’t aim to make a profit from my postage and packing fees, merely to cover my costs (remember this includes packing and posting). You may specify recorded or insured delivery, but this will obviously incur extra costs. I aim to be 'environmentally friendly' and therefore recycle packaging wherever I can.

I work full time (sometimes feels like every hour God sends) so I can’t get to a Post Office every day. I do undertake to despatch your item on the first Saturday after your payment lands. I will not despatch any item until funds are fully cleared. Personal collection is CASH only.

I aim to describe everything as fully and honestly as humanly possible. If I make a mistake, I take full responsibility and will make good any errors. I value my good name on eBay and will not jeopardise it.

Please contact me if you have any questions.

Thank you for taking the time to look at my listing and I hope we can have a friendly and satisfactory deal.

soolin

If you want honest critique then take out all the un necessary waffle. They don't need to know half the stuff you have put in.

I agree that as you can't post out very often you do need to make a note of that as well as accurately reflect this in your despacth times. However I have no idea what a rug like that weighs, are you sure you can send it RM without it costing you an arm and a leg, have you quoted accurately for postage?

Secondly you can't ask for cash on collection and exclude paypal, get more creative with your wording and make sure people are aware that if they use paypal then you will courier it out and they will have to pay your postage charges.

Offering insured and tracked is silly, only you as the seller need any protection the buyer doesn't, so only quote for the correct postage or courier that gives you the right level of insurance and tracking.

Johnny_English_5

Thanks for that, don't you think the 'chat' makes it feel more friendly though?

and, yes, honest critique is exactly what I'm after

soolin

Johnny_English wrote: »

Thanks for that, don't you think the 'chat' makes it feel more friendly though?

and, yes, honest critique is exactly what I'm after

Hopefully people want to buy, not be friends with you. You don't want too much in the way of terms and conditions or lengthy explanations as it looks as though you are doing something wrong and need to justify it. Keep everything simple, lots of good photos, accurate postage and description.

theonlywayisup

[STRIKE]Here we have [/STRIKE]a 100% original handmade Persian Rug.
It was bought [STRIKE]by a friend [/STRIKE]in a Tehran Bazaar in 1979.
[STRIKE]It measures [/STRIKE]82 x 36 inches excluding the fringes.
This rug has never been used as flooring. It has spent its life [STRIKE]so far [/STRIKE]as a wall hanging.
The colours are bright and clear but the rug would benefit from a good clean.
There is some minor fraying at the unfringed edges. This could be easily tidied up by someone who knows what they're doing.
This is a rare opportunity to own a 100% GENUINE handmade Persian Rug in VERY GOOD condition.
The shipping is expensive due to the weight of the rug. ADD POSTAGE METHOD HERE (COURIER?) I welcome personal collection [STRIKE]if this helps you[/STRIKE] for cash payment.

[STRIKE]

I must admit that I know very little about rugs so I've simply listed what the original owner told me about it - I have no reason to doubt any of it.

[/STRIKE]

Check out my other items (link removed)

A few notes to make our transaction easier[STRIKE] and friendlier[/STRIKE].

I’m not a dealer, I’m simply selling a few unwanted items found during my all too infrequent (according to Mrs. Gunner) clear outs.

I don’t[STRIKE] aim to [/STRIKE]make a profit from my postage and packing fees, merely [STRIKE]to [/STRIKE]cover my costs [STRIKE](remember this includes packing and posting).[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]You may specify recorded or insured delivery, but this will obviously incur extra costs.[/STRIKE] I aim to be 'environmentally friendly' and therefore recycle packaging wherever I can.

[STRIKE]I work full time (sometimes feels like every hour God sends) so I can’t get to a Post Office every day. [/STRIKE]I do undertake to despatch your item on the first Saturday after your payment [STRIKE]lands. I will not despatch any item until funds are fully cleared.[/STRIKE] Personal collection is CASH [STRIKE]only[/STRIKE] preferred

[STRIKE]

I aim to describe everything as fully and honestly as humanly possible. If I make a mistake, I take full responsibility and will make good any errors. I value my good name on eBay and will not jeopardise it.

[/STRIKE]

Please contact me if you have any questions.

Pembroke

Presumably 'Mrs Gunner' is your wife, I don't think you need to mention her name especially if it bears no relation to your selling name, so in effect loose the bit in brackets. Also I'd be very inclined to add the metric measurements to your list. I usually just put it in brackets after the inch measurements.

If the fringes are unusually long you may want to also include their measurement. Also if there is an unusual pattern which can't really be seen in the photo(s) you use then describe them. You say 100% hand made but you don't say what of. Is it silk or something else?

cyberbob

I must admit reading the listing it sounds like it was written by 'Del Boy' it's genuine honest Guv, it really is persian (no offence meant)

I must admit that I know very little about rugs so I've simply listed what the original owner told me about it - I have no reason to doubt any of it.

That statement just sounds like your trying to cover yourself.

Totally agree with the other points made by Soolin and TOWIU

amcluesent

Yep as written the first version sounded borderline scam, maybe because it reads like one of those GENUINE!!! rug auctions they run at Travelodge hotels out on the ringroad.

And alll the twee chat could make a buyer think you are an easy touch for being flim flamed.

It would be nice to know the rug didnt smell of smoke/pet too

GabbaGabbaHey

Don't centre all your text - it is much harder to read than left justified.

Don't use a mix of colours, which add nothing to the listing (you could perhaps use some red text if there is a point that you want to emphasise).

Possibly use a slightly larger font to make it easier to read.

lindseykim13

I didn't mind the colours actually i always use at least 2 colours to break things up. Normally blue and black for the usual blurb.
TOWIS crossed out exactly the bits i would have done. The 'this is my friends' always puts me off, makes me think as the seller you haven't checked the item before listing and it might have something wrong with it and then i'd have to send it back at my own cost!
Too many terms, i have 2 lines in my listings there is no point to them as pp and ebay have their own!

HeidiHi

:hello: I think it's just fine as it is.

I like that it sounds friendly and the extra info.

I like the two sections being different colours and I prefer centred text.

Apologies for being awkward, but you did ask.