I have decided I'm out!!!

Lexxi

I was thinking about you earlier this week and was wondering if your bridezilla had chilled out any! It sounds like you've made the right decision. I'm sorry that she wasn't able to take a step back and realise how unreasonable she was being! I hope you do stick around

pinky2010

ohh Lexxi, how sweet you were thinking of me.

The case in point really boils down to this, after having been messed around for the best part of 12 months, we want this, no we want this, no actually we want this, I spent ages searching for information for things, (although I dont mind that they werent used as half the fun is in the searching,) but then got messed around with the hen do which i was organising, then i wasnt, then i was expected to pay close to £300 for a weekend somewhere in England, with half of that just going on the hotel, so could have been even more. Then there were the trips i had to pay for to other cities for dress shopping, driving to other citys for more dress shopping, not once was i offered any petrol money or even the offer of having my dinner paid for. (I actually got the courage to cancel two of these trips other wise there would have been 4 in total)
I was happy to take some time off work before the wedding to help with stuff, but then was moaned at for not being able to more time off that month for the hen do. Which I couldnt really afford any way.
I spent months searching for and trying on dresses, by myself! I was asked to buy evening decorations and some bits for the wedding favours, I doubt I would have been given that money back, I ordered some dresses on line that turned out not to be suitable, not once did the bride offer to order these for me. I was aksed to go and look at stuff in my lunch breaks and after work (I actually work 6 days a week). I offered to contribute towards my dress not pay 3/4 of the cost and I even went to see her the other week specifically to talk about that. I booked lots of appointments at wedding dress shops, made sure cars were arranged and that things were flowing on time. I offered to have my sister make the wedding cake for free, but I think they are paying £300 for one now.
It just all adds up to total anooyance. Plus I would have had to have bought my own shoes, its just all to much. This wedding would have cost me the best part of £500 easily and probably close to 2000 hours.
But aparently I can contact my friend again when I have grown up. Because I have no reason to be stressed.

chelbel1981

pinky2010 wrote: »

But aparently I can contact my friend again when I have grown up. Because I have no reason to be stressed.

:eek: has she been back in touch then???

valos_mummy

Tell her you have grown up already, it's just a shame she hasn't. Or direct her to this thread where other people have also agreed she is being unreasonable. When she realises that no-one else is willing to run around doing 101 tasks, be prepared for the "tail between legs" act.

pinky2010

No she hasn't and I dont think that she will because if she understood how I felt I wouldnt have had to speak to her three times already and send her a letter, so I am sure she will think I am being totally unreasonable.

Taadaa

Wow you sound like you were really helpful and reasonable. I fell out with my moh a couple of weeks ago, she had no interest at all except in pushing what she wanted, the last straw was when she turned up drunk and late to my hen night, didn't lift a finger to make sure it went well, didn't even offer to buy me a drink or ask if i was having a good time, then refused to apologise.

It is sad to lose a friend. But some people don't know what friendship means.

pinky2010

taadaa did you post about that? I remeber reading something similar reccently, maybe we could swap and il be your moh! hehehe

blondali

Pinky what a horrible situation for you. I definately think you have done the right thing! How could she not have listened to your concerns, thats absolutely terrible! I would never expect my bridesmaids to foot the cost of the dresses, we will be buying ours and paying for them to have their hair done and have said we don't mind what shoes they wear as the budget won't stretch to these as well but I think they are happy with that arrangement. I have one bridesmaid who seems to have very little interest in helping me and in fact told me she would not be organising my hen do and the other who lives on the other side of the world and has been a real sweetie. I would never take them for granted and appreciate whatever help I get. It sounds to me like you went above and beyond for this person and they have been totally selfish in not recognising what a huge help you have been. They should at the door grovelling at your feet!

Stefficook

Wow you sound like you were the most helpful birdesmaid/MOH ever! I have so far done everything on my own and have not even been offered help by my MOH other than coming to my dress fitting ( which i had to arrange around her) and now she's off on holiday so won't be around until the week before the wedding. Starting to feel quite sad that i've not had that girlie side of it to plan with, but H2B has been an angel! There should be more like you, she deserves a slap for demanding so much and appreciating so little!! Well done you for standing up to her