I have decided I'm out!!!

pinky2010

I have decided not to be part of my best friends wedding anymore. I just cant take the hassell.

It all came to a head today when she told me she wasnt even going to meet 1/2 the cost of my dress.

This is the final straw in a very long list of things and I have got to the point now where enough is enough.

I text her and said I hoped she has the wedding she wants, but that I have decided to stand down as bridesmaid becuase i cant come with the stress and that I feel it would be better if I didnt go to the wedding.

At least this is going to save me about £300 so I am very happy about that, shame I had to lose a friend, but I just dont need friends that are going to take all my time and money and not even be the smallest bit appreciative. I just have to vent. Anyone who wants more details can just pm me, but ~I have been there with discussions several times, she just glazes over and I already wrote a letter that she never acknowledged, so I really did feel that if I didnt want to be taken advantage of I would have to just detach completly.

Then turned my phone off.

I am not turning it back on until I can get some one to do it for me and delete any messages that I dont want to see.

Dizzie77

Oh Pinky, I'm sorry to hear that - I thought that you might have been able to work it out with her-
but you are right, you don't need friends like that - I hope she misses you on her big day, although she sounds
a bit selfish anyway!! x

pinky2010

Dizzie, it is a shame, but how much can you give to someone who wants to take everything with out saying no, enough is enough. Thanks for you support, its nice to know that not all friends are like this.

I wish I could be some of your bridesmaids instead. You bunch are far more appreciative.

bacard1

Well we are paying for all our bridesmaids outfits (which i do not think is unusal). I think she is taking the mickey and you have done the right thing. I know you may be feeling down but keep your chin up

Dizzie77

I paid for my bridesmaid dress when I was bridesmaid for my sister - but she was on a MEGA tight budget, and I got two dresses from Ebay for £25 and sold them both for a profit afterwards.
I organised my sisters hen do - but it was a cheap affair.

The wedding went so smoothly, didn't cost a fortune, and everyone was happy - so it really doesn't need to be the way that it has been with your friend, it is such a shame that some people turn into Bridezillas - as we've seen on this board before, as soon as that engagement ring goes on, they all become experts on weddings and MUST HAVE everything weddingy!!!!

I hope that you and your friend can make up in time, but I do think you have done the best thing by pulling out of the BM role.

ellay864

Sorry to hear how this has turned out but I think she's being really selfish here. It is HER day - she has no right to expect other people to get stressed and out of pocket over it. You're wishing her well and doing the decent thing by being honest and upfront. I hope when she calms down a bit she realises how she's treated you and you two can sort things out - it's a shame to lose a friendship but if she behaves like that then she isn't being much of a friend

pinky2010

Thanks guys, my other friends have backed me up too. I just feel that she everyone else going to the wedding is getting the benefit of being a guest and just turning up on the day but i have had to cope with over a year of indecision, spending weeks doing something to then be told its not needed any more, being expected to spend my own money on everything, the one thing I thought I could count on was her paying at least 80% of the cost of my dress. At least I havent spent to much money already.

Apparentyly I expect to much! hehehe

hayleythedaisy

Good for you. It's horrible hearing of all the people who get treated badly by bridezillas and let them away with it.

I hope it doesn't mean we won't be seeing you again though!!!

pinky2010

ohh trust me, Im not going anywhere, still interested in weddings, plus have another one to help with at some point and if I am lucky I might even get married one day! hehehe

Dinah93

I find it shocking that you are expected to pay for your dress to be honest, no idea of your back story, but I would never ask someone to pay for the priveldge of being my bridesmaid! I'm lucky that one of mine has a mother with lots of money who is paying for her dress, shoes, hair etc, but I'd hate to feel I could ever put someone in the position you are in. HTH x

Horace

Pinky -you have my sympathies, there is one thing that us planners hate and that is a bridezilla. Your friend doesnt seem like much of a friend because she refuses to listen to reason, maybe she realise what she has done but I doubt it.

Move on and have some fun - bridezillas can end up being quite lonely people because they will have pushed everyone away.