Help me please!!!

catsneel

stop being a doormat

hanspans

Thanks for the helpful comments. I need a solution that takes into account my attitude right now. So leaving isn't an option. I will do a SOA today and get a true picture of where i am. Then I will contact CCCS and ask them for assistance. I am going to tell Alan that my CC cards and my OD is maxed and I have no cash. That can be a first step. As Sven Rightly pointed out, there are two problems, and perhaps if I tackle the debt first I can then cope with Alan's overspending.

I want to say thanks for the emotional support and I do know it would be easier to just leave. But the state of mind I am in, I am very worried I would just lose it completely, if i can tackle my problems, it will put me first, hopefully!

Time for me to put hanspans first!

poppycracker

Good for you! That's what I finally did a couple of months ago, cos my OH is like yours. Be prepared for some screaming rows, but if you can stay strong you'll get there. Like you said, time to put yourself first.

(((hugs))) to you

Angela_D_3

Do yourself a favour and go home to your parents, you sound very young ?

Put this "relationship" down to experience and start again. This man is not good husband and father material.

msmicawber

Hi hanspans,

Since you wish to stay in this relationship, I think that telling your OH that your credit has maxed is a good start. I did that years ago when in a relationship that I didn't want to leave, but where my OH spent his money then expected to spend mine. I would also recommend not telling him about your pay rise, if you haven't already. It sounds as though this relationship is sapping your confidence and self-esteem, so if you could get your debts under control then I think that would be a positive thing that you can work on.

Good luck, but it really is time you started to put your needs first.