Shared Residence hearing, advice needed please.

Tombe

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone with a bit of maybe personal experience or otherwise could give me some advice.

Basically me and my partner split up a few months before she gave birth. We were never married but i carried on to support her financially throughout her pregnancy. Baby was then born and that's really when everything went down hill. We had an agreement that i have contact twice a week on a weekday for 2hrs and on a weekend for 4hrs. This lasted for a few weeks and then she suddenly stopped it. Even though i still pay her a few hundred pounds a month i only see our daughter on her say so, its very sporadic to say the least and even then its for an hour or so at best. i referred us to mediation five time but she kept declining. With no end in sight i applied for share residence of our daughter. I know i probably wont get this straight away as our daughter is still only 5months but at least i will get regular contact and eventually overnight stays. Out first direction hearing at the county court is next week and was wondering if anyone could give me a heads up on what the likely outcome of this will be or know of similar cases involving young children.

Thanks

Tom

gratefulforhelp_2

Firstly, child maintenance is never allowed to have an impact on contact, so good on you for paying it, but it will not affect contact arrangements.
second, do you have evidence that she has refused to got to mediation this many times? That doesn't seem the wisest choice on her part.

This might be better posted on the "child support board" lots of experts there.

mookiandco

The first hearing will usually be a concliation appointment with CAFCASS (court and family welfare officer). Both you and your ex-partner will have the opportunity to speak to CAFCASS (hopefully together but if not, then seperately) to try to see if there is any common ground and any scope for agreement. If no agreement is reached at this first hearing, the Court cannot Order anything by way of contact (unless by consent of both of you), so be prepared to compromise and take any contact offered (its a start). The CAFCASS officer will usually come into the court room with you both and explain to the Judge what happended in your discussions and her take on things.

The court will make directions for the progress of the case. If there are welfare issues or a great dispute that requires an independent person to assist with and make recommendations regarding future contact then CAFCASS will be directed to prepare a report. You will both need to file statements and the matter will be listed for a review/directions hearing. Bear in mind that a CAFCASS report takes between 8-12 weeks so you would probably be looking at coming back to court in about 4 months time. This is why its important to take any contact on offer because otherwise you will be waiting for months to see your daughter again.

You need to come prepared to the first hearing with some sensible proposals. At this stage shared residence is not sensible. Indeed, courts these days are reluctant to grant it at all because they feel that a child needs a base and it is confusing to be shunted back and forth between two homes simply because the parents demand equal access. For a 5 month old you may need to consider seeing her little but often as they have no concept of time but need to see you regularly to make you a constant in their lives. Perhaps you could offer to take her to a playgroup a couple of times a week and another day (couple of hours) at your home etc etc. As previously stated, child support is not taken into account and is completely seperate so it wont wash with the Judge if you say 'but i'm paying her child support so therefore I should be able to see her/have shared residence'.

I would more than likely put the idea of shared residence to the back of your mind and if you are even prepared to drop it and just ask for defined contact you may find that the mother is more open to contact proposals. She is probably going to be defensive at the moment because she thinks you are trying to take her off her. Be clear that you want reasonable contact, to be a part of your daughter's life, to be consulted regarding important decisions etc etc and if she can agree to this then there will be no reason to pursue shared residence.

Best of luck x