How to be a single mum of three?

Ancilla

Hi everyone

I'm here because I need some help.

My partner of seven years is leaving and I have a 5 year old, a three year old and a baby aged 5 months.

I'm on maternity leave (and receiving maternity allowance) from my part time self employed job.

We rent our house privately from another member of his family and he has said I can stay here with the children.

He will pay me the amounts specified by the CSA for the three children (£95/week) but nothing more.

It's all a bit of a shock and I have no idea what to do. Can I get any extra help with money or the rent? Will my tax credits stop as there will be nobody working at the moment within the household?

We have a joint loan that he's agreed to keep paying off - can he transfer this into his own name so he can't come back and ask me for money later if he changes his mind?

So many questions I'm sorry, just totally alone and confused right now

pigpen

you should reapply for tax credits so they are solely in your name..

You can apply for housing benefit/council tax benefit.. if you get nothing you've lost nothing!

If you are eligible for housing/CT benefit you should get free meals and clothing grants for the oldest.

have a look at

www.entitledto.co.uk

The figures you get are a bit vague but will give you an idea what to claim for.

The loan.. he would possibly have to take out another loan in just his name and pay this one off, that depends on the company.

justjohn

transfer the debt into his name...if he will go for it.
Tax credits may go up..
Are there any savings? , if so you are entitled to some of it.

agscully

Hi OP

Firstly have some (((((((((hugs)))))))))) i am sure this is a difficult time for you . I dont want to make any comments that i am not sure about so with regard to extra help you can claim with your rent etc i would suggest looking at the entilted to website ...... i did a quick google search and it seems this is the link to entilted to , have a look at it i hope it helps.

http://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

Indie_Kid

You'd lose working tax credits if not working. Your child tax credits needs to be a single claim now.

You're also entitled to 25% council tax discount if it's only you & the children. You get this whether you work or not.

Ancilla

Wow that was fast. Thanks everyone!

How do I stand in respect of access to the children? He's going to pay me what the CSA website said, so does that mean he can come over and see them whenever? Or do we have to agree times? To be honest I don't mind anytime he wants to come and be around them, but does this then classify him as living here? Is he allowed to spend an overnight with them here? Because there are three of them and they are so small I don't think it'd be right to pack them off somewhere else overnight - I'd rather he came and stayed here with them. Is this allowed? I really really really don't want my children&my baby going off to some strange house somewhere else and I don't want to end up in court so I want to figure it out ourselves. Anyone in a similar situation?

agscully

Hi Ancilla :hello:

As far as i know you can make your own arrangements for how often he comes to see your children , so if that involves overnight stays and you and him are both happy with that then i would not see a problem , coming to a mutually convenient agreement about your children would be much better than fighting it out in court . Have you parted on good terms ? in that you can talk sensibly about the children etc ? If you have then as far as possible i would try and sort everything out between yourselves.

Indie_Kid

I think you're better off deciding this between the two of you. Much less hassle than going through courts. Plus, much easier for the cildren.

Ancilla

agscully wrote: »

Hi Ancilla :hello:

As far as i know you can make your own arrangements for how often he comes to see your children , so if that involves overnight stays and you and him are both happy with that then i would not see a problem , coming to a mutually convenient agreement about your children would be much better than fighting it out in court . Have you parted on good terms ? in that you can talk sensibly about the children etc ? If you have then as far as possible i would try and sort everything out between yourselves.

We are trying to stay on very good terms for the children - I havent worked out if and what I'm going to tell them yet. I'd like him to be able to come and stay over with the kids but at the same time I'm terrified I won't be entitled to help with the rent on the house if he stays here on a regular basis with them. What are the rules about living together? Because we never married we can't divorce and create that distinction between together and not together, if you see what I mean.

Indie_Kid

You may get a better answer on the benefits board. I seem to remember it being things such as separate bank accounts and not having his name on bills and stuff.

Ancilla

Does anyone have personal experience of this sort of thing?

It sounds odd but I have no idea what to tell people. Or the children. I know I have to make a long term plan because of work and money but I really don't want to do any of it right now. Feeling a bit hard done by