Bombshell - advice please

bellrooster

Hi folks

I've just opened a letter addressed to my OH, it looked like a tax credit envelope. It was a letter from the CSA arranging to make collections for child maintenance payments.

I've been with him 6 years and we have a 4 year old daughter, he has no other children. he worked away from home for 6 months from last september to jan this year. He worked in ireland and the address for the csa office is in ireland, is this a coincidence?

I feel like I can't breath. He's denying it saying that his friend got someone pregnant and someone has given his name instead. how can I believe that. God I want to believe that.

bellrooster

SOrry, he does have another child, but he's 19 and works full time.

if it's got to the stage where there demanding payment then he or someone on his belhalf must've addmitted parentage surely?

Joelleski

The CSA often corresponds from offices in Ireland - they certainly do in my hubby's case, so don't think of coincidences here. The CSA are also renowned for making mistakes, so it is entirely possible that this could be wrong. If this is the first time he has heard off them and he definately hasn't got another child then he needs to dispute parentage. Your best bet is to get yourself over to the Child Support forum, http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=140 who can offer you some more advice. I hope everything works out for you ...

RAS

bellrooster

There is a recent thread on the benefits forum where someone was trying to get the CSA to do a DNA test to confirm that he was not he father of a child - so it happens.

You hasve a couple of possibilites, including that tyhe friend used his name.

Understand how upset you are but right now, if he insisits he is not the father, he needs to take action to defend his case.

If he is lying, then you have other issues to think about.

swingaloo

There is another possibility, could he have arrears from the 19 year old that they are perhaps chasing him for..

bellrooster

swingaloo wrote: »

There is another possibility, could he have arrears from the 19 year old that they are perhaps chasing him for..

I hope this is it, I wonder why they would ask for it now though? I don't think he's in arrears.

bellrooster

The form is asking him to pay weekly, 23.95 plus arrears of £9.05. If it was arrears then surely the full amount would be in the arrears section. also his son has worked full time since age 16.

[EMAIL="I@m"]I@m[/EMAIL] sorry this is in the wrong place, I didn't know there was a forum for this.

RAS

Hi

Is he at home at the moment, or have you just spoken to him on the phone?

bellrooster

RAS wrote: »

Hi

Is he at home at the moment, or have you just spoken to him on the phone?

He's at work, I've just spoken to him on the phone. I'm just hoping it's for his son.

RAS

Ok

Well really there is not much more you can do until he gets home, except get a bit of support here.

When he comes home, you obviously need to talk, but take it steady. It would not be the first time that the CSA has affected a relationship because they got the wrong man, nor would it be the first time a man cheated. Right now you do not know and cannot know.

If it is not him, he needs to defend the case urgently and I am sure that kelloggs or one of the others on the child support forum woiuld help him out.

MrsManda

I think you need to believe him when he says he doesn't have any other children, unless there is indisputable evidence that he does. The CSA is not indisputable evidence at the moment. When he's home, or more likely, tomorrow he can speak to the CSA and try again get it sorted.

Try not to panic until you know the facts as believing he's lying to you can be just as damaging to your relationship as discovering he really is lying to you. Hopefully you'll both get the full facts of the matter soon