Am I being tight?

Buttonmoons

I spent £3 on DD's nursery gifts. Me and my friend bought one bunch of flowers each and gave the to the teacher and nursery nurse, from BOTH the kids. It was appreciated, so much so in fact that the nursery nurse sent DD a letter at home thanking her for them etc. Was nice

Dinah93

pigpen wrote: »

I don't buy any of the staff presents.. they get paid every month same as any other employee why do they need presents? they are doing what they chose to do.. If they kept them for a weekend free of charge I might think about it

Lol my mum is a nursery teacher and she in fact does take the KS1 children away 2 weekends a year - the parents are always very grateful!

I do think that is a crazy ammount to be spending, most kids bring a box of roses between the teachers and they all divvy them up in the staff room. I agree that present buying shouldn't be automatic, but if someone does a good job I do think they deserve thanking - I took my neighbour a box of choccies the other night for witnessing and signing my will, I took my doctor a homemade cake the other day to thank him for all his support and time in the run up to my knee surgery, and I give my bin men some bottles of beer at Christmas, it's nice to be nice

Fang_3

It depends where you live. If you live in a wealthy area then it's very much the norm, even on the cheaper side of that perhaps. But if you can't afford it, then you can't afford it.

sharronloves2spend

Okay, i don't even spend that on family, i think that is way too much. TBH some of the teacher my kids have had over the years no amount of money spent on a gift would be enough. I try to persnolize a small token gift and spend no more than £3 on each, it's just a small 'Thank you' £35 is obscene, i could fill my cupboard for that!!

HTH Sharron x

esmf73

I've just had this conversation with a mum from my sons playgroup funnily enough. Now my eldest is at school and I feel like the school have bent over backwards to help us and DS 1 is very challenging (I believe thats the PC term!!!). So I did buy little presents for them - £5 for the head (Wooden Apple) £4 for the ELSA and Behaviour support lady (keyring each) and £9 for his long suffering form teacher (leather purse in shape of apple!). For DS2s staff - well I have bent over backwards this year trying to help out the nursery - I've donated cakes at cake sales (not just 1 or 2 either), been at EVERY event they've had and got them a new printer (freecycle) and various other bits and pieces (all from freecycle, but who knows?). So if people ask me I'm saying that I have just bought them a huge castle with people - which I did (from the local charity shop) and that is my present to all the staff!! - More appreciated as I know what they're short of.

I will write a thank you card to the staff members, but thats it. So total spent would be £31 - and thats because the staff have been very involved.

chathamlady

A gesture of thanks is what's needed in my opinion.

My DD is just finishing year 4. What we're doing this year is filling a small cardboard box - which DD is decorating herself - with some low cost stationery items for the classroom (total £5.00) - no outlay for the box or decorating items etc as these are from stuff we've got at home. And DD will write her own message in a card. For the TA I've got a token gift (£1.99 for small but nice notebook / address book set which was a BOGOF). DD has up to 4 different teachers a week due to being in sets for 3 subjects but I've just stuck to her form teacher and form TA. I've a friend who's a primary teacher and she's told me that extra stationery bits are always useful so I'm afraid I pinched the idea from her! Also a few years back my son (then also in Y4) gave his then form teacher a load of coloured paper and card which she loved and sent him a special thank you card for.

Anyway, I hope things work out okay for you.

pukkamum

Utterly ridiculous £35!!!!!!
I am in education and would be horrified to think that a paretn had spent so much, especially if they couldn't really afford to, and also because of the pressure it would put on other parents.

I am always grateful for anything but certainly don't expect anything, though a tin of roses between staff is never turned down lol.

My 8 yr old son writes and draws his own comics so always makes one of these for the teacher at the end of term starring the teacher as far as i know they always love them (though they could just be being polite lol)

the_cat

I think it is fair enough to buy a small token gift for the teacher to go along with a card (pref HM) written/decorated by the child

The real problem arrives in the earliest classes where there are often a multitude of 'helpers' too
It is really difficult to know what to do as even a token gift each amount to a decent chunk of money if done in bulk

The nursery my children attended realised this and got around the problem by suggesting that they would prefer the parents to buy/donate a book or two to the class for future children and to not buy for the individuals. Maybe this would be appropriate?

Broomstick

The only present I ever gave was booktokens (in the £5-10 range) so that the staff could choose a nice new book or two to share with the children - something new for everyone and more resources for future generations. To say thank you, we gave home-made cards.

meritaten

I picked up the grandkids today (the last day of term) and i made sure both of them went up and thanked the teacher (who the adhd grandkid adored) as I know she has done a really good job with both kids this year. she was graciously recieving pressies from the kidsand parents but boy, did her face light up at the grandkids sincere thanks! If I had known I would be picking the kids up today we could have made her a card last night. and, tbh, I think that is the most appropriate thing. as another poster pointed out - she is doing her job and getting paid for it. I dont begrudge her the gifts, but I just dont feel its appropraite.