It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

Fruball

Welcome artybear

My kids are too young for DofE but its helpful to get your perspective as you have completed it

hellsbells45

Welcome Artybear. Please don't think your opinion any less worthy because of your age. You seem to have done alot more than most people I know in your short years. Romania Wow.

You are the bright and hopeful future of this country. No more creeeping in, stomp in with your hob nail boots on.:D

kezlou

welcome magic mum!!!!

parsonswife8 wrote: »

The car has been in since Saturday and will only be ready on Wednesday, if we are lucky. Did I say lucky?????:rotfl::rotfl:

you've got my luck haven't you :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Well our bill £500 minumum i'm :eek: at the thought of it. Thats not even counting the rent, council tax and bills.

Bleeding cars arghhhhhhhhh

Brill news about the bike sammy!

My boys and OH all have pack lunches, it would be £20 a week just for the boys alone. I tend to eat the same thing as them so for our lunches its egg mayo sarnies, HM pasties and HM choc concrete. That way no filling is ever left to go off either.

Hi arty, i totally agree with you. My sons off to Carlton with the school next month for a week of doing kayaking , walking etc. Its really good as i think a lot of children in urban areas, especially poor towns like mine, wouldn't get a chance any other time.
I know its expensive but i would pay anyway as i know my boys love the outdoors and i think it would help to be come more independent.

Well Sammy were in the same boat as you, got about £6 left for food and no money for anything else till next month. So its up to me to save the day. If i don't see it as a challenge i'll cry. After everything thats happened my OH and I can't take it anymore.

So yesterday i made chicken + bacon pasties, bramble and apple pastries, choc concrete + egg mayo for pack lunches.So thats a couple of days sorted at least.
Got a bag of gram flour so going to try and make some things out of that. Going to scour recipes so i can make as much as possible.

So going to pop to the market and see whats about then come back and sort more stuff out.

Have a good day all!

taplady

Sammy - glad about the petrol in the motorbike!:TI hope you manage to sort your tv, phone and internet out. x x

maryb

Artybear, thank you for your input. I really am not rubbishing the whole D of E scheme, just the way DD's school organises it. It won't get her out of her comfort zone because she will be doing the expedition with her friends and they will only be going 40 miles from home in the South Downs. To her it's just a glorified school trip.

I genuinely do think this sort of thing can have real benefits and I would be very happy for her to do each of the elements. We are already encouraging her to learn to sail, for example. It's the way the whole thing is packaged by the school makes me think it is a bit of a con.

And I do want her to do charitable work because she is so very privileged (though madam's teenage sense of entitlement gets in the way of her realising that) and she should use her advantages to help make a difference. She is very gifted at maths and is also a natural teacher - all her friends 'get it' when she explains things to them that they have been struggling with. I hope that she will take up maths mentoring because intervention at an early stage with someone who is struggling can make all the difference to their life chances. I just don't want to get caught up in a machine that is about making money for the organisers as much as benefiting the recipients

skyelark

Annie56 wrote: »

Morning everyone from a dull and overcast and yes quite cold Staffordshire, well my part at least.

Yes Sammy Kaye I agree it is cold, and Im worried re the leccie like you


Hi Annie,
I have been lurking in the background, reading your post with interest!
I have found it very interesting reading to say the least. Yes, it seems as though you are going through a rotten time at the moment, but I assure you, things will get much better. This is by far the worst part, and you are coping amazingly well with it (your sense of humour obv still very much in tact)!
A few years ago, I was the Scottish woman living in Staffordshire(funnily enough) newly seperated with a 6 year old daughter and a problem ex. My ex (a mental health counselor) had an affair with one of his clients and I threw him out. The marriage was all but over, but, to say the least, I didn't expect that!
I didn't expect he would assault me in front of his daughter, either, but he did! I was absolutely broken at this point, and in debt. I left my career, sold my house (no money made from sale) and moved home to be close to family and repair. The moment I left and came back up North, I felt as you do now. There was a sense of sadness, for all the drama and bad stuff that had happened,(more like horror actually) but also, a sense of liberation and hope for the future......it was exciting too!
Despite the fact that I have had to do low paid work as I couldn't do the shifts I did in previous work whilst bringing up a child alone, we have managed well on a strict budget and had much more fun and laughter that we ever did as a family during my marriage. My kid has turned out fabulous (my best pal in the world), I have a great partner now who I love dearly and loves me back, I have a wonderful step-daughter who I adore, and a good life, I am happy!
Life may be scary at the moment. You may find that you have lost some of the magic that made you, you. Your confidence may not be all it has been. You have been through a lot and someone that you trusted and loved let you down. the good news is, you will use this terrible situation and all the feelings associated with it to come out of this braver, better and happier, (in time) I PROMISE!
Be proud of yourself, you are doing fabulously! And despite the down times, you are obviously a strong person who will build on what she has now and move forward from it.
I wouldn't change the sequence of events that happened all those years ago, it made me who I am now. But my heart still goes out to you now for those unsure moments you will be experiencing now and then. They will pass. You are doing great. Well done you!:T:T:T:T:T:T

sammy_kaye18

kezlou wrote: »

Brill news about the bike sammy!

Well Sammy were in the same boat as you, got about £6 left for food and no money for anything else till next month. So its up to me to save the day. If i don't see it as a challenge i'll cry. After everything thats happened my OH and I can't take it anymore.

I know - its not a nice feeling is it?? technically boyfriend should be ok for petrol until Friday when hes paid and I think his dad/mum are paying for the bike to be MOT'd. Boyfriend isnt happy that hes had to accept another hand out from them but they know his job situation at the minute.

Plus seeing as he has enough petrol I've got the £10 from scratchcard back in the cupboard - determined not to use it unless I have to but nice knowing its there.

Plus boyfriend has flu so has gone to work half ill this morning still and helpfully given it to holly so she doesn't know what to do with herself. Spent all night wide awake as could hear her coughing in her cot and then heard her gag so was paranoid after that. Have bathed and fed her now, put her straight into another sleep suit. theory being if shes asleep/comfortable Im not waking a sick 9 week old to dress them. shes currently fast asleep snoring on my shoulder so the housework can wait.

mama67

ubamother wrote: »

My ten yr old was awful - this is what I did - put a laundry basket in his room - anything in it got washed, anything on the floor got black bagged and would be thrown away if not put in the basket. Putting away clean clothes has to be done before something he really wants - so "tea will be ready as soon as your clean clothes have been put away" or "we'll read that book as soon as...." He hasn't yet got to the age when I'm not welcome in his room, so am hoping I've caught this early. Was I really this bad...? Er...oh yes!

My 15 yr old (DS1) has a habit of dropping his dirty clothes all over his floor, around his linen basket. The 12 yr old (DS2) is not quite as bad yet.

The rule I have is that every Tuesday night I have everything except uniform, and on a Friday night I have all uniform. If I'm not given it then it has to wait until the next week. I do go and get white uniform shirts at a push.
Sunday nights I have DS1's refereeing kit and DS2's footy kit.

If it gets too bad when I go in there (sometimes have to use his room to watch a prog I want but no-one else does) I'll pick it all up and dump on his bed, along with any crisp packets plates etc. So he has to deal with it before getting in to bed.

flowertotmum

seasalt wrote: »

It's Duke of Edinburgh Award, flowertot mum. Not around in my day, or at least, not at my school.

Bluebag, my kids are jealous of kids who have cinemas, swimming pools and primark on their doorsteps! I am jealous of people who can shop at Lidl!

Seasalt..thank you..my hubby did that at school yrs ago and it never cost a penny back then:)..shows his age ..my son's school does community services not criminal ones:)..but the kids do allsorts through the schooland get a pretty nifty uniform to go with it..they go camping,hiking,army courses,navy,raf..loads..pretty lucky really as we have an army barracks close by and lots of air bases too...they do community work with the elderly and charity runs ..really good ..he didn't do it as its just started but his mates are...

lambanana

I'm skint again :mad: DH owes me some money as I picked up some bits for him yesterday BUT even when he's given me what he owes me I'll still be short the money I need for everything yet to come out of my bank this month I'm so glad we've got a little trip away pre-booked (and all paid for including the spending money which was sorted ages ago) as I REALLY need it. I've had enough.

This lunchtime I've got to take back some shorts I bought for DH, he took so long getting round to trying them on (only to find they didn't blooming fit!) that today is 28 days since I got my e-mail saying they were ready to collect...it says on-line you can take things back up to 28 days after receiving that e-mail but I am a bit nervous that they'll say no. I would take an exchange if they refuse a refund but I'm really rather hoping I can just get the money back. I'm not very good at arguing my side though

I'm also exhausted as I keep waking in the middle of the night with an awful runny nose.