Ladies & Gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts ...

benbenandme

Humph ... wish I hadn't rung the csa now, I've been in a foul mood ever since I think its a build up of several things; stuff is going on this week re. the ex (another court appearance to set the trial date), so hopefully I will find out if I have to attend and give evidence :cool: Also yesterday at work our line manager was hinting that there could be cuts in our department on the way My other line manager (complicated set-up) has told me not to worry about it for now, but I can't help but be concerned, its not like I have a huge amount of income from other sources is it?? I've also just had enough of watching every single penny. I have been really good this month at recording every single penny spent, we really haven't had any excesses whatsoever and yet theres still nothing left over :cool: I don't want to live like this with everything being so tight ... I know its my choice to overpay the mortgage but in some ways it feels like it isn't much of a choice, I don't want ds growing up in a flat above a shop, I want him to be able to have a garden to kick a football around in and to have a pet dog I know I'm just feeling negative today, just every now and then it feels like I'm trudging and trudging and nothings ever going to change AAAAAGGGGHHH!!!!!

So, I'm off out now for a friends birthday drinks (am driving again to keep down the costs of taxis home and drinks ), don't feel whatsoever like going but am hoping it may do me good Sorry for the whinge, I've tried talking to myself about it all and I KNOW I'm doing a good job and we have a nice life and no debts blah blah, but sometimes it just gets me down Sorry, whinge over!! x

Buffythedebtslayer

You are allowed to "whinge" Benben, its not actually whinging, you are expressing your worries and how your !!!! of a ex is limiting things. You have hopes for your lovely son and you to have a different life. Getting annoyed with the situation is a good motivator sometimes.

Hope the birthday drinks were good. I can't wait till I can drive to places.

Buffy xxx

stressed.mum

Sorry your having a not so good day BenBen, but look at what you are achieving - steady weight loss, financial stable (even if a little juggling has to take place) DS is getting on well at school, you have a job ( even if it may be a bit iffy at the moment) and you are abe to bring up DS single handed - IF ex finally steps up to the mark you will have some spare money for treats and over payments but you are managing without having to rely on him. DS will see him for what he is when he is older, and he will realise what you have done for him

Take care

Stressed xxxxxxxxxxxx

benbenandme

Thanks guys, had a little whinge to a friend in a similar position tonight and that has helped my mood too It was a good night tonight, a bit of a strange mix of people but was still a fun night. Spends = £4.50 on drinks.

I have also been thinking for a while about something else; I'm going to look into changing ds surname. Currently he has hid 'fathers' surname, but its just yet another reminder of him and ds has often asked why he has to have a different name to me. Up until now I've left it but I am seriously considering changing it to mine. I know I can't change anything on his birth certificate but am going to look into changing what he is known as at school. I will speak to ds about it first and be totally sure he is happy with it / wants to do so before I make a decision, but I am heading that way.

benbenandme

Morning all, just waiting for ds to come home from mums then we're off to tescos this morning, followed by some train spotting and then a walk in the forest this afternoon with a friend, her son and 2 golden retrievers

I didn't explain completely last night about the name change thing, I'm not looking to remove the ex's name from ds's, I want to double-barrel it instead, but without a hypen so he would be known as benbenandme ex's-name my-name officially, but in practice because I wouldn't hypenate it then the ex's surname would be treated more like a middle name and he would be known generally as benbenandme my-name

Ellidee

benben I fully understand and endorse your reason behind wanting to change your ds surname but wonder if you would need his dad's permission to do it ? Have a good day. xx

benbenandme

I wouldn't need his permission as he doesn't have parental responsibility, however I would discuss it with him first. However, ds is back now and I have just chatted briefly with him about it and he says today that he doens't want to change his name, so thats that, I won't do it unless he wants it done. Knowing him he will change his mind by tomorrow though but for now, if he doesn't want to change it then I won't go ahead anyway.

benbenandme

Ended up watching the tennis, so did an Asda order instead to be delivered tomorrow evening. Spent £48, will see what the actual figure is when the order comes tomorrow night.

Right, off to the train station now

pixiechick99

I completely understand you wanting ds to have your surname. If I'm really honest, I think now that that was one of my main reasons for marrying my girlies dad - so we could all have the same name. Obviously he wasn't the love of my life as we're now divorced:rotfl: But I still have his name (my maiden name is awful:o) and I still want the same name as the girls. I do wonder whether calling myself 'Mrs' is wrong as I'm not married? Not really important, ex doesn't mind.
Anyway, sorry I've waffled - maybe ds will decide he wants to be the same as you as he gets a little older. I like your idea too, sticking your name on the end so dad's name will disappear as a middle name;)

benbenandme

Home from a fabulous walk in the forest, my friend took her son who is about 3 years older than ds, her golden retriever and her sisters collie dog and we walked for about two hours. Ds absolutely loves having the dogs with us and spent almost all the time throwing balls and sticks for them We did go slightly off track at one point and went through a huge boggy bit so we all came home with absolutely soaked feet and jeans but it was all good fun

I've had a cup of tea and a hot bath and am now about to get ds in the bath, then its time to start thinking about dinner. I'm really pleased we went, it was lovely to get some fresh air and exercise and ds thoroughly enjoyed it too

More importantly, today has been a nsd :T