CSA Hell advise needed please

denel1970

so there is my reason for not wanting to settle nor take his money without going through the proper channels..he has lots of money!!! but refuses to pay for the children because he is controlling and spiteful and thats all..hope this answers some of your questions :-)

Blonde_Bint

Hi there,

to get the children the maintenance they deserve from their father its going to be a hard slog, many on here have plugged away at it for years before they got anywhere, but if you keep at it and go down all the channels you have to, following all the correct procedures, you will get the maintenance for your children, however its going to take A LOT of perseverance. Possibly some earache from the childrens father at some points also.

The CSA confuse me I left it to DH i'm NRPP anyway so I was fortunate I didnt need to deal with the CSA I would have got nowhere with them so I dont envy you the task ahead just wanted to say do it for your kids and try to keep calm through out:)

AnxiousMum

Denel - hang in there! Do as Kellogs has suggested and keep at it - it'll be a hard slog, but obviously a private arrangement is totally unsuitable to you - due to the violence, restraining orders etc. Just know that one day, the truth will come out and learn to deal with the fact that until that time, it'll be hard. It'll be stressful. But you are so right - he is the father, and he has the obligation legally to help you in providing for your children. However, you also have to ensure the safety of you and your children, and for this reason, you must pursue with the CSA rather than a private arrangement. Gather the hard evidence that you can, and present this to the CSA. Good luck, and when you need to vent about the frustration of it all, there's lots of us on here to talk to

woody01

denel1970 wrote: »

Actually i do work full time :-)

But you can't afford your children?
That makes no sense.

AnxiousMum

Woody - when she had children there was another contributing adult in their lives. That adult still exists, just choosing not to contribute his part financially towards their children. Whether the OP can 'afford' it or not, the child support is the right of the children, they are entitled to benefit from it, and so should be receiving it. They deserve to know that BOTH parents chose to have them, to contribute to them in any way needed.

There's lots of two parent families who cannot 'afford' their children.....times change, circumstances change - I'm sure that Denel did not plan on having an !!!!!!! for a husband who would beat her and be violent, and then become a single working parent.

She's entitled to the child support to aid with the children's upbringing, so whether she can financially do without it or not is not up to anybody ese to judge - not like it's government benefits or something for free......it's an entitlement and a right.

PlayingHardball

woody01 wrote: »

But you can't afford your children?
That makes no sense.

It makes perfect sense for any PWC who receives no financial help from the NRP.

Good on the OP for working and supporting her children. I too do just that, full time and in a very good job, and to be honest, many months my income doesn't cover my expenditure, but with extremely frugal living, we survive. Even without the help of a **** of an ex who doesn't pay support either.

Everyones situation is different.

To the OP - keep going, don't give up and try not to allow this to stress you. Kelloggs gave sound advice, gather evidence, apply for a variation, wait till it is rejected then appeal and go to tribunal. It may take years, but eventually your children will benefit.

I'm awaiting a tribunal date myself. From start to present it has been almost 2 years. It will be a long slog, but you sound determined, and so you should.

denel1970

Thanks for all your replies..i will keep at it, the reason why i have no money is because my income is not good, i get paid the minimum wage and work bloody hard so i dont live off the taxpayer, yes i does make a difference getting even a small reasonable amount would be nice..im not a greedy person and am fair "i was to put up with him"!!! i grow my own vegetables, dont go out and my kids come first, its a shame the ex doesnt see it this way :-( Anyway, i decided on that point yesterday..to make up some business cards and be the master of my own destiny...so hopefully i will be running my own business shortly! Gardening, housework and carework!! i finished my long shift today then spent 3 hours putting my business flyers up!! its making me a stronger person, but still doesnt alter the fact that he chooses not to pay for his children and he damn well should!!

PlayingHardball

Denel1979 - well done (business cards). Also, I am a HUGE advocate of further training - is there anything you could study, you would have a good chance of having it paid for if your income is low

AnxiousMum

Go for it Denel - the decision to do it is hard - but you've done that! As PHB has said, you may well get assistance with any courses/training at the moment, and even a course in business could be beneficial to you. If you need computer training, look for a local high school who is IT specialist status - they often offer courses in various software programs (I'm doing Intermediate Excel at the moment at one) - and this will come in useful for any correspondence etc. They are set up exactly for people in your position Good luck and hang in there!