should i take further action?

13Kent

We would be happy to be on CSA 2 and pay 15% - as it works out at approx half what we currently pay on CSA 1.

PlayingHardball

ilovemykids1979 wrote: »

were did i say i wanted my ex husband to look after my child??? read every post never did i say that what im saying has it needs to be fair!!!

In effect, you are asking your ex-wifes husband to financially support your own child if you are not prepared to contribute sufficiently to that childs living costs. The CSA say that 15% is sufficient. You have your child stay with you which reduces this percentage and you will not be paying 15% (thats where the fairness comes in) You are only pay a portion of child support when your child is not under your own roof.

Its not really rocket science we are talking about here.

How much does it cost to own/rent a home in your neck of the woods, supply food, clothes, pay utilities, (if lucky, a holiday)? I personally don't do holidays, but it takes my whole income to pay for all of my living costs in providing a roof over the head of my child.

You mentioned you take your child on more holidays then your ex? Maybe she can't afford a holiday, and lucky for you, you can afford 'more' then her.

RedSky

The way I see it.

Not all NRPs are going to be content handing money to an ex. Not all PWCs are going to be content that their ex pays a fair share.

CM does not directly relate to the actual costs of rasing a child so passing a percentage of an NRPs income to the PWC will never accurately reimburse the costs of raising a child. One will win, one will lose.

The Government are only interested in using CM as propaganda for reducing Child Poverty.

ilovemykids1979

playing hardball you no nothing about my situation so dont try to pretend to know what im saying.

lets put it straight do i need to put a roof over my childs head when she is with me has well has with mum?
its about fairness and equality not get has much money has you can but many PWC are all out for what they can get and even stop contact for mmore money...lol

how sad hey and then they even kid them selves into believing its for the child.......many are a load of jokers simple.

you dont know how much or how little i pay, you dont know my ex situatuion so do not twist my words, you actually sound like my ex and she is a nutter

speedster

as i said in PM. this place is full of them.

you know where to go........

sassy_one

Call the CSA on him, don't mess a round.

You gave him a chance to do it the polite, friendly way, he has refused.
Why should he get away from his responsibilities?

Call CSA and request a review

shell_542

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

The amount goes into the household pot (for most people) and can't be dicated by the NRP how it is spent - much like I am sure that NRP's wouldn't like anyone else telling them how to spend their money.

In effect, the NRP is being told how to spend their money though aren't they? At least they have no control over how some of their own money is spent. I'm not saying whether its right or wrong, but I see the argument that a PWC shouldn't be told how to spend their maintenance but an NRP has no say in how their money they earn and is paid out in maintenance, is spent. Whereas had they still been in a relationship with the PWC, they would have had a say in how their money was being spent on their own child. I think that's where some of the resentment comes from for some and I can see why.

PlayingHardball

Monmantra - any updates? Definately £90 is a low monthly amount to be supporting a child of any age, it sounds like your ex could certainly be paying more for his child.

Shell542- I agree with you and can understand that 'some' NRP do get their knickers in a twist about how their 15% child support contribution is spent, we hear it all the time on this forum. But gladly, not all do! I won't make large sweeping gereralisations about most/all/many PWC and NRP's, but I will speak from experience and say that my ex is one of these guys who HATES the very thought of giving 'me' money - he can't see beyond his bitterness how his financial help has supported his daughter, certainly NOT me!

ilovemykids - I'm not a 'nutter' and please save your insults, but perhaps ilovemykids, it is you has something in common with MY ex?? You are right, I don't know you and I don't know how much you pay in child support, but I doubt very much that you are putting a roof over two households. Why does it seem so difficult to see that 15% is really a small portion of what it is costing the PWC to raise and provide for your child, provide a home and stability? Surely she contributes far more to supply a home for your child and herself then your 15%!! Come on, what is your argument about?

The world of all the children of divorced/separated parents would be a much happier world if everyone put the financial and emotional needs of the child before their personal greed, bitterness and anger with their ex. God, life is just too short!

I really can't understand the mentality of thinking 15% is too much. I really can't. Perhaps you should just ask your ex what she spends the money on, I bet you would be surprised.

shell_542

I don't think it's necessarily always the bitter and twisted NRPs who get annoyed at the prospect of having no control over the maintenance money being spent. For some, it's a final kick in the teeth. Not only do they lose out on seeing their children daily/as often as they used to and bringing them up equally, now many are relegated to an every other weekend or a one day a week parent ... and they are no longer supporting the children themselves directly or how they choose to. Someone else is doing it for them and they have no say in the matter. I can understand how that can be frustrating and upsetting.

Of course there are those NRPs who begrudge doing anything to help their ex, but there are plenty who don't really care about that and if they had the chance, they would rather be the one with the day to day care and expenses that come with it.

speedster

shell_542 wrote: »

I don't think it's necessarily always the bitter and twisted NRPs who get annoyed at the prospect of having no control over the maintenance money being spent. For some, it's a final kick in the teeth. Not only do they lose out on seeing their children daily/as often as they used to and bringing them up equally, now many are relegated to an every other weekend or a one day a week parent ... and they are no longer supporting the children themselves directly or how they choose to. Someone else is doing it for them and they have no say in the matter. I can understand how that can be frustrating and upsetting.

Of course there are those NRPs who begrudge doing anything to help their ex, but there are plenty who don't really care about that and if they had the chance, they would rather be the one with the day to day care and expenses that come with it.

absolutely spot on post. :beer: