husband not playing fair in divorce - help needed pls

Randy_Trouserman

Hi,

my cousin has been lied to and messed around over the last two years, her husband left the family home to move into a flat and live his 'single life' again.

He's now asking for a divorce and I'm worried he's doing it on his terms rather then being fair. Please can someone advise.

They've been married for 16 years and have two boys (15 and 12). He's paid £1000pm for the last two years, but rarely helps out with any extra costs (football boots, school trips etc). 'It's not my problem' is the usual reply.

My cousin works part-time for a national retailer (inc all Saturdays) whilst the hubby has his own pretty successful business which was set up with their joint money a number of years ago. My cousin isn't named as an official on any company documents.

As a settlement he's suggested £1000pm, plus 60% of the house equity when sold (which he's said will be when the last child hits 17).

She's worried to rock the boat incase the £1000 is decreased as she couldn't afford to live in the house any longer. Her wage keeps the kids and family afloat but no more, whilst he's bought a new car recently and also a few expensive 'boys toys'.

How can she ensure a fair settlement, he's lied about lots of things and I'm concerned he'll lie about the level of his income and value of his business to keep the payments down.

Can anyone advise please? Thanks.

gorgeouslatinrose

She needs to get legal advice. I am no expert but I think she can stay in the house untill the youngest child reaches the age of 18. It does sound like he is not playing fair, but a good solicitor should sort that out.

nelly12

gorgeouslatinrose wrote: »

She needs to get legal advice. I am no expert but I think she can stay in the house untill the youngest child reaches the age of 18. It does sound like he is not playing fair, but a good solicitor should sort that out.

She needs legal advice. She has no legal right to stay in the house so him not forcing a sale may be fair or may mean that he doen't want his finances investigated. She must have an idea of his income so she should know if the £1000 a month is fair? ie does he have a net income of over £5000 per month after tax? CSA should be 20% of his net income per month. The 60% of the equity in the house in potentially 5 or 6 years time seems fair. However, are there other assets not mentioned? Bigger picture there's not enough info to be truly helpful. But good luck.

Fang_3

She's only entitled to 20% of his income, so if £1000 is more than that she should thank her lucky stars. She should also get a full time job now. Her children are more than old enough, why hasn't she done this already? Does she expect her ex to keep her in the lifestyle that she's become accustomed to?

Kimitatsu

As they have been married and have children she is entitled to reside in the family home until the youngest child has left full time education or is no longer eligible for child maintenance at 17 whichever comes later. However the court will require her to indemnify her husband of any liability against the mortgage so she may have to apply for spousal maintenance with the divorce. As for the equity the starting point is at a 50/50 split and then other considerations are taken into account, the number od children in the marriage, other assets, whether there is any pension provision for either party, the earning potential for either party etc etc and it all goes into the pot. The division of assets is then taken up from there.

Your cousin needs to get as much documentation as she can to show the realistic earnings of her husband because self employed company directors can hide their money in a huge variety of places (just have a look on the CSA board and you will see what I mean!!) so that she can show the court (and the CSA what he is really earning). If your cousin only works part time, and has no pension provision then she would probably be looking at a greater share than 60% but I would imagine that her child maintenance payment would be considerably less than £1000 pm. She needs to seek legal advice, she may well be entitled to legal aid so its worth going and checking.

boyang

Please don't take this as being aggressive, I'm genuinely curious. What is viewed as fair in these circumstances?

Randy_Trouserman

Thanks everyone.

Fair would be putting all earnings and assets in to hat and carving them up, not hiding them away.

RT

boyang

All assets (and debts remember!) into the hat is not too much to ask, although if he runs his own company she will be well advised to try to get hold of as much paperwork as she can to prove his income. She has no obligation to agree to what he is suggesting now and remember that a lot of people start off negotiating asking for something very different from the amount they are happy to settle for and he could well be doing this.

I thought the fairness bit was also about the amount of money she receives now. Just bear in mind that if he is paying over the CSA recommended amount (which at £1000 per month would seem to be the case, but obviously I don't know his income so it may not be), he could use this as a tool in negotiation.

If your cousin finds it difficult to have the discussion with him/stick up for herself, how about mediation if she doesn't want to go down the solictor route?

Idiophreak

Randy_Trouserman wrote: »

They've been married for 16 years and have two boys (15 and 12). He's paid £1000pm for the last two years, but rarely helps out with any extra costs (football boots, school trips etc). 'It's not my problem' is the usual reply.

Granted, I'm no expert in these things, but I imagine if I were paying £1000/month for the upkeep of 2 children, I'd be a little miffed if their mum turned round and said "johnny needs new football boots, give me another £50"...Surely it doesn't cost anything like £1000/month to keep a couple of kids, so their should be plenty of room in there for "extra costs" to be covered...

neneromanova

The husband has to pay maintenance which I thought was more than 20% for 2 children...but I can't find out where it is.

Also half of the mortgage and that's it. As your cousin lives in the house she will have to pay the other half of the mortgage plus all bills herself.

It sounds like he has sort legal advice for himself and is paying the £1k to hide the money. Or he could genuinely care about his kids so pays that much to help out.

P.s Just wanted to say I LOVE your username OP!!

clearingout

There is a need to consider pensions as well. What pension provision does each of them have? Pension sharing is very common, she needs to consider this.

I would say she is lucky to have received £1k a month for so long. It may well be an indication that she should be receiving more (is is rare, in my experience at least, that the self-employed like to pay any kind of maintenance - there are so many, many loopholes they can use to delay and avoid!). She can download his company accounts from Companies House for £1 and have a look at those - in the case of large businesses that could be sold, she will need to consider getting herself an independent valuation and/or a forensic accountant to look at the books if she thinks there have been attempts to hide things. Again, a solicitor would advise. She doesn't need to be a formal director, the business is an asset accumulated during the marriage which is how the court will view it. If it has value, it is reasonable she gets a share and/or her share is offset in other ways (so he gives her 100% of the house and she leaves the business alone, for example, but it all depends on value).

A court will expect her to work and support herself. However, it is also reasonable to consider spousal maintenance where re-training might be necessary, for example. Spousal maintenance orders for the forseeable future are relatively uncommon, I believe, these days but they are possible to obtain, particularly in circumstances where there is a lot of cash swishing around and there is a reason the wife can't work (disabled child, for example).

the 60% share when the house is sold is quite a common way of doing things (called a Mesher Order, I believe) but she needs to look at what this means in the long term - it is no good if she can't house herself with that 60% as a deposit and get a mortgage, for example.

She will need to complete a Form E at some point - the court will force it if financial proceedings go through court, but it is recommended it is filled in even if you go through the mediation process - you'll find it on the courts website. Worth a look. It's not as frightening as it first seems - and it will give her an idea of what to expect from him. He may well want to settle without doing this form - and he will have ulterior motives for that! If she has evidence of bank accounts, loans, credit cards, debts etc. she needs to hold onto them.

It does sound like he's taken some legal advice and perhaps is starting at the lowest possible place in the hope she'll take it. However emotional an experience divorce is, she needs to consider her long term financial needs, how many years she has left to work, what her potential full time earning power is, what she will be paying out on her children etc. etc. and take it from there.