Families

angie_baby

This might turn out to be a long post.
OK, never been a real close family, but close enough to visit 2/3 times a year, birthday cards, etc.
But 5 years ago my mum died. Her sister came down and saw her, her dad said he would come down when she got better; unfortunately she died about 3 weeks before she was coming out of hospital.
Both her sister and dad came to the funeral, saw my DS etc. Now I was only 18 at the time and my dad also had TB so trying to organise a funeral was hard. None of her family wanted to help and I forgot to get the minister to mention her sister. (This is where the problem stems from I think).
But since then I’ve never heard a word from them, I’ve phoned offering to take my aunt to lunch, sent a letter, texted. I’ve never had a reply except on my mum’s birthday or mother’s day, and even then it seems like a drunken text.
Anyways, two weeks ago I had a text simply saying; sorry to be the bearer of bad news but my dad has died the funeral is on x at x time. No mention of where! So I replied saying sorry, do you have the address, as even though I wasn’t that close to my granddad I wanted to go on behalf of my mum. No reply after a day so called, and was put through to voicemail. So just accepted that I couldn’t make it. She finally sent a text telling me where, but as it was over 100 miles away I just couldn’t make it so sent flowers from DS and I.
On the day of the funeral I had a text from her saying thanks, I will call you on Saturday. Well the weekends been and gone and no call. I tried, phone is off. So after 5 years I’m thinking of writing another letter and getting it signed for (so I know she has got it) explaining that this is the final time I’m going to try and get in contact to meet up and that I’m disappointed that both of us have made no real effort, so really the question is would you write a letter or just leave it?

I’m desperate to be in contact with my aunt, she is the only family I have on my mum’s side and the only link I have to her. I just thought that she would be there, I don’t know what to do, and I want my DS to know what little family he does have. And to be honest im fed up of only talking when someone has died.
Any thoughts?

pigpen

I wouldn't bother.. I'd concentrate on the people you see regularly that care about you.

Neeny82

I understand why you must want to build some kind of relationship with your aunt and think its lovely that you do, for both your sake and your DS but unfortunately these kind of relationships have to be a two way street and it doesn't sound like your aunt is willing to put in the time and effort - lets face it she wont even answer your calls and texts.

If you want to give it one final shot then writing a letter could be a nice idea. You can tell her why it is important to you and DS that you maintain some form of family relationship.

However - she may well not reply or not put in any effort and if that is the case I would say that I would just leave them with it and concentrate on all the people who are in your life now and who care about you and DS. Those are the real people who matter. Unfortunately we cannot choose our family - how different life might be if we could eh!

I hope you are happy whatever the outcome - hugs x x x x x

angie_baby

By the time I posted the OP i knew i should just let it go. If it was a bloke that treated my like this they would be long gone.

Thanks

Neeny82

angie_baby wrote: »

By the time I posted the OP i knew i should just let it go. If it was a bloke that treated my like this they would be long gone.

Thanks

That's a great way to look at it! You wouldn't out up with it from anyone else so don't start now just because they are 'family'.

All the bestx