Guardian for my children

[Deleted User]

Hi everyone,

I'm sure there are threads about this already, but I can't find them, so if one exists can they point me in the right direction (or even a link outside MSE)

So, I'm a single parent, father doesn't see the children (his choice) and I'd like to make arrangements for my children to live with my sister should anything happen to me.

I'm going to make an appointment with a solicitor to do this but wondered if anyone had any experience of this?

My concerns are:

What would happen if my ex reappeared, would my wishes be over ruled?

Would my childrens views be sought?
and my biggest concern.......

should my children actually want to go to their father?
This is a concern as their father wasn't a nice man and had drug/alcohol problems (chose them over our children). Now while they know I do not love him/like him, it is ok for them to. I talk about the rare good times with them but neither are of an age where they have an inkling as to what their father was like. They often talk of finding him when they are older (we're not sure where he is). So what if he reappears?? he may have changed but I doubt it.

ok, i've probably not explained well and I only wanted general views of what would happen.

Can anyone advise??

TIA

gratefulforhelp_2

Sallylizzie, I am in this position, except DD has a lovely stepfather. You need a will, and life insurance. When you make your will you can arrange and name a guardian, and express your wishes in relation to the father coming out of the woodwork.
You need to make sure your sister has a good close relationship with your sister (sure you do) and the advice I have had is that a court (if it got that far) would be unlikely to disrupt a family relationship, especially if they could stay in their schools et.c.
As to whether their views would be taken into account, some people on here say not until 8, my solicitor told me not til rather later, 11 maybe.
HTH.

[Deleted User]

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Sallylizzie, I am in this position, except DD has a lovely stepfather. You need a will, and life insurance. When you make your will you can arrange and name a guardian, and express your wishes in relation to the father coming out of the woodwork.
You need to make sure your sister has a good close relationship with your sister (sure you do) and the advice I have had is that a court (if it got that far) would be unlikely to disrupt a family relationship, especially if they could stay in their schools et.c.
As to whether their views would be taken into account, some people on here say not until 8, my solicitor told me not til rather later, 11 maybe.
HTH.

Hi there,

Thank you for your reply.

My sister and I are very close as she is to my children. They are not lucky enough to have a step father and I know some people may disagree but I do not want their father to have anything to do with them and worry he will creep put of the woodwork (to be honest I don't think he would but I need to be sure my children would be raised in a safe healthy and loving environment).

It's good to know that IF it came to it, the court would see it would be too disrupting for the children to live with him, (past aside) they don't know him and it would mean them living with a stranger away from everything and everyone they have know all their life.

Thank you

MCMitten

I was in the same position as you and I made a will at the solicitors stating who was to be DS guardian if anything were to happen to me (it cost me £25). I was also concerned that his dad would try to over rule this, but was told by the solicitor that since he wasn't in DS life, was an alcoholic and had a lenghty criminal record there was no way that it would be in DS best interests to change the guardianship arrangements that i'd requested.

[Deleted User]

Hi Michele Stewart,

Thank you for this, I actually felt my heart quicken with that reply, makes me feel so much better. I must see a solicitor soon.

*Louise*

If you get it all sewn up with a solicitor he is far less likely to even have a chance at changing things

List your requests and your reasons, having a proper will will stand you in good stead.

But here's hoping it will never come into effect:beer:

[Deleted User]

*Louise* wrote: »

If you get it all sewn up with a solicitor he is far less likely to even have a chance at changing things

List your requests and your reasons, having a proper will will stand you in good stead.

But here's hoping it will never come into effect:beer:

Absolutely:)