PLEASE help me stop spending

Soma

well done on returning the shed it's hard not spending, my weakness is craft stash hence my siggy. Try the no spend day challenge.

gonzo127

one thing i am shocked about so far is no one asking you to do and post up a SOA which is something i would advise http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

if we can see your budget we might be able to free up a little 'fun/spending' money so you do always feel as if you have to go without as sometimes the feeling that you cant have makes you want it all the more

*zippy*

Kezzy I posted the same thing a few months ago and never thought I could stop spending tbh. As someone said I think it is a bit of a comfort thing. I think the biggest help has been spending cash only, I withdraw a set amount each week and that has to last, it makes me think twice before I spend on anything as I need to know theres enough in my purse for priority things like bus fares and dinner money. I also don't browse the shops, ebay or online anymore as thats my biggest temptation

I think its helps to remember those horrible feelings of guilt and regret you get after spending too, next time I fancy something I can remember that and think will it be worth it. Try snowballing your debts and making a payment a day etc to keep encouraging yourself its worth tackling this now.

I'm the type that always wants stuff, but it came to me the other day, that stuff will all be there next week, next month even next year, I don't need it today.

Good luck, you can do it x

Pee

A SOA is always a good idea and could well show where room could be made for fun and also that if you were good and avoided spending, you would have enough to cover the essentials and repay your debt, thus giving you an end in sight.

That said it isn't really the budget that is the problem, it's the couple of hundred pounds shopping spree.

foxgloves

I used to spend money in just the same way as you describe, Kezzy. I stopped 2 or 3 years ago and started to put my finances in order. It's hard for the first couple of months, but what I found is that as I stayed within my monthly budget, first my overdraft started to reduce, then go completely, then that plus the budgetting started to free up extra money to thow at loans & credit card. Cutting back your spending for a day or two, or a week isn't long enough for it to make a visible differece but if you can do it for longer, seeing first the overdraft then the cards reduce is VERY motivating. I've posted this before, but no amount of stuff I bought when I was out spending made me feel as good as being in control does now. Another thing that might help is to think of something you'd like for the future.....we're a pair of hippies at heart, I think, & would dearly love a VW campervan for going round the festivals & remote bits of coastline, etc. I know that if I keep to my budget, don't build up debt again & keep putting the money I used to spend paying debts into a savings account, I have a chance of seeing that campervan (a purple one, I hope!) out on our drive. If I go back to spending, that's my choice, but am I really going to enjoy weekly carrierbagfuls of tat as much? I don't think so. I really hope you can get on top of this....I used to be a terrible fritterer of money & if anything, my husband was worse, but we're proof that people CAN change. Just stop spending except on things you need or things you have properly budgetted for. Just stop. Today. Lots of luck x

missworks2jobs

I always ask myself these things when I see something I want to buy
1) Do I really NEED it....or just WANT it (i.e. can you do without it or make do with what you have)
2) Will it still be there tomorrow....can it wait (buy it on payday or ask for it as a birthday/xmas present or when you have spare money/vouchers)
3) Can I get it somewhere else cheaper?
4) What alternatives could I use the money for...i.e if I buy this lipstick for £9, thats £9 I could have spent on a bottle of wine & birthday card for that BBQ we've been invited to.

Best of all - do not take your card out with you, at the start of the week set a budget and keep some money in your purse for the day to day things so you know you literally cant afford to buy anything else. Have a "spare" £10 or £20 for emergencies...but give it to your other half so you have to ask for your emergency cash (and that way they're more likely to ask you what its for and what you spent your budget money on) this way you'll both keep track of what you're wasting money on and learn about your spending habits.

FREEZE your credit cards so they literally are for emergencies only. CUT all the other ones up, if you do need to use them again you can always ask for a new one, when it arrives if you still need to use it then you'll know it was for something worthwhile. If not....just chop that one up or destroy the pin so you can't use it because you obviously didn't need it in the first place.

Try turning money saving, scrimping and bargain hunting into your new "fix" instead of buying.
Good luck

dancingfairy

I don't know if you have accounted for everything so much you haven't allowed any 'spending money' even if you just allocate 5 a week for spending - then it's up to you whether you buy a magazine/book each week or whether you save it up and buy a cheap meal out (2 for 1 offers or with vouchers of course as well!)
df

cjames_3

There are many people you can speak to about this.

My cousin was 'addicting' to shopping. She felt complete when she made a purchase but would then become terribly depressed when she came back from a shopping trip.

I know it sounds a bit weird but ask you GP if they can refer you to some that may be able to help you. Perhaps there is an underlying issue you may need to deal with.

You should be proud of yourself though, you realise that the spending is an issue and a lot of people just brush that under the carpet.

Best of luck to you!